tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post1042682610391952617..comments2023-10-07T07:26:20.469-07:00Comments on Flux Capacitor: The WatermarkMaggie Mayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699674732274478502noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-9906390143273323402010-02-11T12:35:24.082-08:002010-02-11T12:35:24.082-08:00Wonderful writing, as always.
Everything you say ...Wonderful writing, as always.<br /><br />Everything you say is so true. I've often tried to define marriage, and I think you've hit it right on the head with this post.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing. Hugs.Mary@Holy Mackerelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04026873878364041551noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-48367578941980553642010-02-05T07:45:42.111-08:002010-02-05T07:45:42.111-08:00But life is lived 99 percent of the time in betwee...<i>But life is lived 99 percent of the time in between Either and Or</i><br /><br />Truest statement ever.CSD Faux Finishinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05947691876538206892noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-17670472168924742282010-02-05T06:44:42.666-08:002010-02-05T06:44:42.666-08:00I love your writing, your honesty, your flow.I love your writing, your honesty, your flow.Bethanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03510823788662848522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-60306082925370198962010-02-04T22:43:16.594-08:002010-02-04T22:43:16.594-08:00Oh Maggie, hugs to you, both for the rough patch a...Oh Maggie, hugs to you, both for the rough patch and the a-hole comment. <br /><br />Of course every marriage is constantly changing, ripping, tearing, blooming, yawning, and what makes your writing so wonderful is your honesty. Thank you for that.<br /><br />And for everything else. You inspire me--not only because you write like a woman on fire but also because you find the melancholy beauty in the everyday.<br /><br />xo,<br />SPetunia Facehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10862319327443285277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-87911974904956557922010-02-04T20:15:38.813-08:002010-02-04T20:15:38.813-08:00also ps,
a woman left me a comment that made my h...also ps,<br /><br />a woman left me a comment that made my heart sink and tears fill my eyes. i completely expected a comment to have this effect at some point and i am lucky it's taken this long.<br /><br />she said, paraphrasing, 'why don't you make the marriage you want instead of focusing on a fantasy'<br /><br />i'm NOT, NOT going to address every or even any comments again which make me feel like shit, but this was the first, so i just wanted to. <br /><br />in response, i would just say that the comment reveals that this person does not read and comprehend my posts regularly, and did not read and comprehend this one. if i do anything, it's not living for fantasies. life beat the shit out of me to young for that.<br /><br />xoMaggie Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14699674732274478502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-70751899886801160902010-02-04T20:12:13.053-08:002010-02-04T20:12:13.053-08:00I am trying to find a way to write about these har...I am trying to find a way to write about these hard things without writing about them. My husband specifically has asked me to leave all details involving this issue out of my blog and so I always have. But when things are hard, it's very VERY hard for me not to write about them, because this 'call and response' kind of writing is extremely effective for me to sort out my thoughts and to find support from people who are in a very distinct and unusual position- who might be in my exact situation, who know a lot about me, who care about me to some degree and so have good intentions in their listening and advice. I truly appreciate your reading and your patience, as I know these kind of posts are murky and unclear.Maggie Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14699674732274478502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-6429580115312380922010-02-04T19:04:47.338-08:002010-02-04T19:04:47.338-08:00This was really insightful. I don't know what ...This was really insightful. I don't know what 99% of words mean. At least, not really. <br /><br />I hope, at least, that you're doing better than "fine." <3Laceyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03074240282215306796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-20265535736157681782010-02-03T18:36:47.075-08:002010-02-03T18:36:47.075-08:00I never expected marriage to have any weight. We o...I never expected marriage to have any weight. We only 'hitched' for the visa, to see if we liked each other enough to be together. I'm glad we did but holy moly, if I knew then what I knew now. As we signed the wedding registry, we played Monty Python's 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life'. But that's because any of the alternatives involved Mariah Carey.Taniahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17520680195281725886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-62148507136926235222010-02-03T11:54:42.767-08:002010-02-03T11:54:42.767-08:00Wow... you are amazing. I love this post and I t...Wow... you are amazing. I love this post and I totally agree with the girl scout definition :-) and all the other wonderful words you wrote.Still Life With Coffeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08618084652041659692noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-41433248181850186152010-02-03T08:51:11.017-08:002010-02-03T08:51:11.017-08:00I have been married to my love for 32+ years...I a...I have been married to my love for 32+ years...I at one point gave my married name as my maiden name..they were one in the same since I have had that name way longer than the one I was given upon birth. We have been each others best friend through difficult times with children and parents, we have had spats and we don't always see eye to eye but I can't even imagine him not with me. My marriage vows taken when I was so young (19) I may not have understood where it would take me anymore than we can be together all the time (yes!), to the real living...we are the ocean and the shore...<br /><br />Your honest post is why I keep reading you...you bring up those thoughts we don't always think of. And your saying FINE with AA..I think I can say that relates to my mom with Dementia...<br /><br />The strength in words...keep on!Ellenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00912709342270151365noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-55028736082417398142010-02-03T08:08:12.983-08:002010-02-03T08:08:12.983-08:00same page.
same chapter.
same book.
the best plac...same page. <br />same chapter.<br />same book.<br />the best place to be.kristahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07862447137460152226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-77198851672872209152010-02-02T23:27:49.924-08:002010-02-02T23:27:49.924-08:00i hear you. i really do.i hear you. i really do.et lille oejeblik - a little momenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05159607057010663014noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-6795400194902305872010-02-02T22:58:11.548-08:002010-02-02T22:58:11.548-08:00no one in the blogsphere talks about the hard shit...no one in the blogsphere talks about the hard shit parts of marriage. i wish they did. they say 'write what you wish you could read.'<br />so here i am.Maggie Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14699674732274478502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-61783145720047704682010-02-02T20:46:34.753-08:002010-02-02T20:46:34.753-08:00Ah, so well written. Marriage is a toughie. I am...Ah, so well written. Marriage is a toughie. I am not sure I am any good at it but we keep plugging away. As for mothering, I have no choice other than to be good at it or at least as good as I can be. I just keep getting up every day and loving her as best as I can.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07022434817723918622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-55940089076891225472010-02-02T11:12:52.584-08:002010-02-02T11:12:52.584-08:00Marriage is like a bonsai plant, requiring more pr...Marriage is like a bonsai plant, requiring more pruning and time than one would think. <br /><br />Hard work.Nancy Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04313721217543578257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-49558432946440992942010-02-02T10:04:09.129-08:002010-02-02T10:04:09.129-08:00i love marriage,,, and dreams and ideas and real p...i love marriage,,, and dreams and ideas and real people....<br /><br />i love you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-47486715048086682652010-02-02T09:48:34.578-08:002010-02-02T09:48:34.578-08:00My mom once said, being married gives us the privi...My mom once said, being married gives us the privilege (yes, the privilege) of seeing the not-so-great parts each other. Seeing each other struggle or fall, or even fail is the most unpleasant, but most intimate part of any relationship...<br /><br />sending love your way....Carolinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04953764061091454844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-77520772712530339312010-02-02T08:51:35.740-08:002010-02-02T08:51:35.740-08:00I dont really know what 'they" say...but ...I dont really know what 'they" say...but I always say this:<br /><br />Love is a VERB... first, and more than anything else. <br /><br />By that I mean love means DOING the hard work, on self and in relationship. It means wiping butts, changing diapers, giving a hug when someone is raging, letting our egos go and taking the time to understand those we love. And allowing them to do the same for us. Without martyrdom. <br /><br />It is loving our planet and its citizens (the bigger picture) and our friends and family (even when they arent being lovable) by DOING the right thing, and doing the hard things. Sometimes, that means walking a way for a bit, allowing the person the think and calm. Keeping our ego and drama from masking the real issues. Often, it means making compromises--TOGETHER. Give and take. This is the balance I think most of us struggle with. Learning when to give of ourselves, and when the best way to give of ourselves is to give to ourselves, and allowing the other person to do the same, on their own.<br />Really, in marriage, in my opinion, maturity of both partners is the most vital ingredient. Personal responsibility and willingness to workon it is a huge part of maturity. Since we cant 'grow up' another person, the best thing we can do is to grow ourselves. Often that is the inspiration needed for those around us. Worst case, we are growing, and better able to understand the plight(s) of our loved ones.<br /><br />Again, I really think keeping emotions out of a lot of it, as in the drama...and spend that energy doing the things that need to get done. <br />So many people, sadly, confuse the highs and lows of drama with love. I think they become addicted to it, the adreneline, the chemicals our body makes is like a drug, complete with high highs and low lows.<br /> <br />Real loving is doing the hard stuff, and doing it with a measure of grace, peace and purity of heart. Enjoying the process, the work, as the gift that it is.<br /><br />But, that's just my opinion.<br />I'm not saying this has anything to do with you, sweet Maggie.<br /> Just my opinion about marriage(s) in general. I'm going on 15 years of marriage to my wonderful husband...and his parents have been married over 40 years, and still happily married and do fun things together all the time. <br />And I've been in my share of bad long term relationship prior to my husband. And I come from a broken home. These are merely my thoughts from my perspective. <br /><br />Lovely writing, BTW, as usual. I love how you are willing to hang that ass out in the wind. Your willingness to be vulnerable to the world is a special and lovely. I thank you.<br /><br />Hugs,<br />LolaLola Sharphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14394765053485642935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-16618719078428220632010-02-02T08:20:57.698-08:002010-02-02T08:20:57.698-08:00I'm not married, but I have a child with a man...I'm not married, but I have a child with a man who I love and hate, sometimes in equal measure. I know what it means to think that part of your relationship is just as it should be, and part of it is something you'd never wish on anyone. We've been in a hard place for a while, but I think we may be coming out of it. To me, marriage, should I be brave enough to take it on, will mean staying put while the storm rages--even when part of me wants to move someplace sunny.<br /><br />Hoping the storm passes soon for you.Bexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01149273662223446935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-28746595299498804922010-02-02T07:57:50.350-08:002010-02-02T07:57:50.350-08:00Yeah, and some more kisses.Yeah, and some more kisses.Mwahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00954216492730746581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-90474876215334267032010-02-02T07:47:38.810-08:002010-02-02T07:47:38.810-08:00I love your blog...
...but man the tiny type is h...I love your blog...<br /><br />...but man the tiny type is heard to read.Draxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10127086612056086054noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-34094171079763346652010-02-02T07:08:14.826-08:002010-02-02T07:08:14.826-08:00There is a reason that the "Hang in there, Ki...There is a reason that the "Hang in there, Kitten" poster is a classic. Some things are just worth it. Hope the wheel turns upward again for you soon.CitricSugarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17580076318545974487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-43592379784574918352010-02-02T07:00:51.873-08:002010-02-02T07:00:51.873-08:00Marriage and mothering take over our lives and lea...Marriage and mothering take over our lives and leave us questioning our progress. It's all very humbling and elusive. Day to day living isn't always gratifying but it enables us to gradually develop our place in it all. Finding our place is the hard part....mermaid galleryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04678555215616371872noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-62724311065043353532010-02-02T05:52:36.164-08:002010-02-02T05:52:36.164-08:00I love the watermark image. I have been thinking a...I love the watermark image. I have been thinking a lot recently about marriage and how, when two people manage to GROW together it is nothing short of a miracle. When you stand up there and say those words and end them with "I do" and a kiss, you have no idea what you are saying because you have no idea who that person is or who you are or what the future brings. <br />Yes. It is a challenge. <br />Sending love....MMs. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-37499606059862036042010-02-02T05:13:38.241-08:002010-02-02T05:13:38.241-08:00I think a lot about connotation versus denotation ...I think a lot about connotation versus denotation and how many fewer misunderstandings there would be if we all had the same understanding for each word.Jeanne Estridgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13096521122802823385noreply@blogger.com