tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post1872618215077982693..comments2023-10-07T07:26:20.469-07:00Comments on Flux Capacitor: If you have anything better to do, You probably should do itMaggie Mayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699674732274478502noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-24274188087759527112011-09-27T11:56:32.519-07:002011-09-27T11:56:32.519-07:00I read that you would never find the tape or the s...I read that you would never find the tape or the scissors or the nice PENIS, which made me wonder what you were going to do with all three together.<br /><br />I feel your pain, because I feel the same. xMwahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00954216492730746581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-76651805870823847812011-09-22T09:09:04.635-07:002011-09-22T09:09:04.635-07:00I once read that Mother Theresa went through a spa...I once read that Mother Theresa went through a span of years where it was all she could do to get up everyday and simply fight gravity. Sometimes that's how it is. It sort of sucks and everything is so damn tedious, even though there's the sprinkling of child glitter and laughter throughout it all. <br /><br />I also read once that being a mother, wife, income earner and all our other roles is like having an IV on in reverse and we end up as husks of our true selves from time to time. I'm sorry the husk is an accessory for you right now. <br /><br />I try to hold tight to the small moments, the ones where my younger son and I are sitting in the afternoon sun watching his older sister play soccer and he and I make fart jokes. Things like that. It's not much but helps with the breathing in and out.<br /><br />Hope today is a good one for you.That Uncomfortable Itchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09775377280498782156noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-69295057432399791412011-09-21T02:07:30.594-07:002011-09-21T02:07:30.594-07:00Pfft. You're not SUCKING SO HARD AT EVERYTHING...Pfft. You're not SUCKING SO HARD AT EVERYTHING, you're SUCKING SO HARD AT PERFECTION. Everyone sucks at perfection. Even when it seems like someone has perfection sussed, it's actually just cute-shaped-pancake Smoke and Mirrors.<br /><br />Hang in there, excellent lady.Taniahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17520680195281725886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-45720966966771837442011-09-20T09:18:28.005-07:002011-09-20T09:18:28.005-07:00I feel you girl - oh how I fell you! I've jus...I feel you girl - oh how I fell you! I've just started a 2nd job and after 6 years of being the only person who has picked up her kids from school each day they now go to an afterschool program that my mom picks them up from. My house is being ruled by my two dogs who keep finding stuffed animals to rip apart and our pool looks like a swamp. I walk in just long enough to say 'what a mess' go to bed and then get up and start again. We all just have to think - this two shall pass, it really will. Just love your kids, hug them, and most of all listen to them and let them know they're important. I guess it's time for my kids to do chores on a regular basis - maybe that would lighten the load for you too. Hugs to you and I hope it gets better soon :)Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04477256501751074642noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-9924289915748514622011-09-20T04:53:55.045-07:002011-09-20T04:53:55.045-07:00Maggie, I am "home" mostly with my kids....Maggie, I am "home" mostly with my kids. On a daily basis I search for a pen that works, a sharpened pencil and scissors. I know we have 6 pair, but where the heck are they. Shouldn't a stay at home mom have her office supplies organized!? <br /><br />Hang in there, your doing good. :)K Soucyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17640745531940120613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-76552419234660507482011-09-19T19:43:42.992-07:002011-09-19T19:43:42.992-07:00A huge hug to you. I stay home with my twins and I...A huge hug to you. I stay home with my twins and I still feel like I fail. The point is, you care. And that's what it's about. Again...a hug to you. I'd offer you a beer if you'd want it.Meghan Elainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16591049621968189943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-88880413059145984462011-09-19T17:56:05.874-07:002011-09-19T17:56:05.874-07:00I really liked that pen, too.I really liked that pen, too.Lone Star Mahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14339475499304565638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-38632412556472482792011-09-19T17:32:12.084-07:002011-09-19T17:32:12.084-07:00It feels better just saying these things out loud ...It feels better just saying these things out loud (out quiet, maybe? out in the "open" internet?), doesn't it?<br /><br />I have a friend who always tells me that we can only control 8 percent of what happens to us. And instead of focusing on EVERYTHING, we should just worry about that 8 percent....it's a bit of a mind game, but also a refocusing. I like what Julia says about Triage Time, by the way.<br /><br />And yeah, it's one of those months.Hannah Stephensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15792203070774504501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-54033493163028394552011-09-19T17:20:02.587-07:002011-09-19T17:20:02.587-07:00My parents used to get so mad at me when I was abo...My parents used to get so mad at me when I was about Lola's age because I rolled my eyes at EVERYthing. It was almost as though I had not control over it! Many times, I didn't even realize I was doing it and would deny doing it. Then I caught myself once and was quite chagrined. DOH!<br /><br />Keeping up is madness. I've just decided that my house is always going to be in a certain amount of disarray and clutter and chaos and even dirty (Not filthy mind you!) till Harley is much older. I'm at peace with it. I hope you find your balance soon.<br /><br />Oh yea, we can never find the tape either! That cracked me up.<br />xoxoPetit fleurhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02626110471501778855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-77748934185606683152011-09-19T15:58:01.736-07:002011-09-19T15:58:01.736-07:00Its just called reflecting on things - working out...Its just called reflecting on things - working out on paper so it doesn't mess up your head 0 has got me in no end of trouble but still sort of saneMiddle Childhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09962830669606760640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-71179991011256845712011-09-19T13:37:21.860-07:002011-09-19T13:37:21.860-07:00I totally lost my mind for the first year of G'...I totally lost my mind for the first year of G's life. And she's an only child AND I didn't work. I'm mentally giving you a hug right now. Also, the nice pens bit? Super funny. :)Ameliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07115154893444857726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-59609225643238866252011-09-19T12:27:39.057-07:002011-09-19T12:27:39.057-07:00God I know this litany. You're in good company...God I know this litany. You're in good company, at least, with this angst and fear of failure and struggle. when my women's lit students tell me, after reading "The Awakening" that they think Edna is a bad mother, that "after all, Sara, it isn't the olden times anymore" meaning they've drunk the Koolaid that we can have it all, and that somehow, THEY won't have to struggle, or that the creative life is a hobby like cross-stitch or playing Bingo--<br />Ugh. This real-life business of children and job and bills and writing and all of it is ugly sometimes and a slog and too often none of it feels good enough. But the act of having a self is self-ish, and it's just what we want our kids to do. It's what we must struggle to do, I guess. And damn, I'm so glad you're out there writing this, telling this story, reminding all of us that we're not alone.Ramona Quimbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01308882206677929003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-84769978068328555702011-09-19T12:26:36.897-07:002011-09-19T12:26:36.897-07:00Oh Maggie I can relate with EVERYTHING you wrote h...Oh Maggie I can relate with EVERYTHING you wrote here. And you want to know something funny? You know how I NEVER (okay, more like hardly, hardly ever) write about what's really going on in my life on my blog? Well two, three days ago I finally wrote a "Okay, here's the real deal people" post because I started getting worried some new mom at home might read my DIY blog and confuse it with a person's actual life. <br /><br />Last week:<br />The fake: we made some crafty stuff and it photographed in a really pretty way. It looked cute. I almost even believed it myself. <br />The real: My entire house smells like spoiled milk from everything spilled on the carpet. I forgot my son't first birthday (well, really I remembered the morning of, but still) because I am SO busy just getting by with each day. <br />The good: we finally switched to organic milk for the kids this week<br />The bad: I now may not be able to afford the gas I need to take Liz to school (slightly kidding but not really)<br /><br />Yes, the busy-work in life often sucks like there is no tomorrow, but never be fooled--nobody (at least not with a child under 3 years of age) has it down pat. Nobody. Yes we all have our moments, but that's about it. <br /><br />Oh and the school work! Lizzie is just in Kindergarden and I turned to Gil the other day and said "This is a part time job right here!" <br />It's no joke, Maggie. And don't forget you are a fabulous mom. It's impossible to be all things all the time but just know you are amazing because of the love in your heart. And that's all that matters. <br />Love you, my friend.Carolinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04953764061091454844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-80832916450845838722011-09-19T10:59:54.652-07:002011-09-19T10:59:54.652-07:00You are not sucking at anything, you are overwhelm...You are not sucking at anything, you are overwhelmed. And your kids would not exchange you for any other mother. That's evident by all the love flowing through your posts and photos.<br /><br />Weaving through and around all of this hectic life, you are still such an amazing writer. This is so NOT a boring post; you have described the universal frazzled feelings of so many mothers striving to "do it all". It's an eight-day-a-week job and you are doing it.<br /><br />Hang in there, Maggie May, and know that you and Mr. Curry are succeeding in raising a well-adjusted, loving family. One day you will not be so exhausted and will enjoy the fruits of your labor.lulumariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01951594259193037282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-25574847669672716872011-09-19T10:35:12.914-07:002011-09-19T10:35:12.914-07:00This is exactly why I love your writing so much......This is exactly why I love your writing so much...it's real and honest and raw and I'm sure every single person that reads it can relate...life gets messy and crazy and busy and we feel like we suck at everything but we do whatever we have to do to get through, and then hopefully there's a lull and there's peace and harmony and recharging the batteries before the next wave hits :) <br /><br />By the way, I'll bet anything that your kids do NOT want a different mom, the one they have sounds pretty darn awesome! Oh, and scissors and tape and pens can be replaced...even the really nice pens...and orange marks on the wall, just think of it as decoration!Hyacinthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03513109666659974917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-41624915633974829962011-09-19T09:49:41.531-07:002011-09-19T09:49:41.531-07:00i know. and i don't know. i feel your frustrat...i know. and i don't know. i feel your frustrations on different levels but still the same frustrations. this is why i can't even keep up my blog. i cannot be fake. i just can't. the real me is exhausted from being mama, lover, carrier of a new life, sister, daughter, friend. i feel like everyone is watching me. waiting for me to fuck up, give up or succeed. my house is destroyed and cleaned spotless every. single. day and i want to lose my mind. i run in circles, and yet i never leave my house. i am in a sad state. i never in a gazillion years thought this would be it. life. i was on a different path before scout. before my nick. but i think this path may end up being better, i am just without my own life. and that was my choice. fuck it.Rashelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01609312006478718386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-65779513656191630372011-09-19T09:34:08.516-07:002011-09-19T09:34:08.516-07:00Great post. A snapshot of how life really is when...Great post. A snapshot of how life really is when juggling so many things and trying to meet "the standards". All I can say is that the problems always tend to fill up one's life even with less to do. I could have been a pan caking making, cookie baking mom, and was for periods of time and things still got screwed up and I still had my fits. <br /><br />Hang in there. It can be a wild ride at times. You are doing well. Your post was terrific and inspirational in its reality.Catherinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11149885637140617891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-43082528046952026832011-09-19T08:30:14.823-07:002011-09-19T08:30:14.823-07:00I'm sorry that you are feeling so pulled apart...I'm sorry that you are feeling so pulled apart, Maggie. Modern life does that to everyone, sadly.<br /><br />Hang in there, dear. What can we do but that? I don't know what else to say, other than you are loved.<br /><br />SBSarcastic Bastardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17116577711704241625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-59936487671685980622011-09-19T07:11:44.979-07:002011-09-19T07:11:44.979-07:00I'm not here to give advice, Maggie, but I wil...I'm not here to give advice, Maggie, but I will nod my head in not just sympathy but empathy. And I'm not even nursing a baby!The ONLY thing I can say is give yourself a break -- keep your sense of humor -- love on those kids and husband --Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03313726816776097840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-77026760832743087382011-09-19T06:06:12.049-07:002011-09-19T06:06:12.049-07:00And yet, I am here to tell you that it does all co...And yet, I am here to tell you that it does all come out all right. After endless days and nights you will look around and you will know where the pen is and the scissors too and the kids will be grown and you'll say, "How in hell did that happen?"<br />I swear.Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-19900094553950131442011-09-19T05:57:37.401-07:002011-09-19T05:57:37.401-07:00“I think my kids want a new mom...” No, they don...“I think my kids want a new mom...” No, they don’t – they want the one they have – the one who loves them with abundance and is doing her damnedest to make it all work...Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14110235078325434919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-85152244576276262722011-09-19T05:38:10.764-07:002011-09-19T05:38:10.764-07:00Oh honey, I SO know where you are! I call it Triag...Oh honey, I SO know where you are! I call it Triage Time, where everything is coming at you in so many dimensions that there's not a chance you can get it right. So I focus on not getting it wrong.<br /><br />1. People first. Make a list of the signs of affection that matter to each person you love. If it's heart-shaped pancakes, it's heart-shaped pancakes. But it's got to be stuff that matters TO THEM. Make yourself a checklist and make sure you do something that makes them feel loved every week. You can buy yourself an awful lot of time by focusing on the things that matter to others, instead of focusing on the things you think you ought to be doing.<br /><br />2. Offload responsibility. Sit the kids down and say, "I've realized I am too busy and stressed to remember to do everything. So if something matters to you, like getting a form signed, I need you to bring it to me and stand in front of me until I do it. I will guarantee that if you just hand it to me I will forget it. So now YOU are responsible for making sure that the things YOU need get done. I wish it weren't like this, and I wish I could do it all, but I can't. And I want you to be part of the solution."<br /><br />3. Make a lunch schedule, so you know you have the ingredients in the house, and have them make their own. If they forget, have them tape a reminder somewhere that they'll see it before they go to bed. The first week will stink, because you're trading the headache of making the lunch for the headache of having to remind them. But then you tell them, "Last week was your practice run. This week you need to remember on your own, or you'll end up without lunch." This is NOT being a bad mommy. It is teaching them to take care of themselves and think ahead. As I tell my #4, "I cannot be your frontal lobe forever."<br /><br />4. IT DOESN"T HAVE TO BE PERFECT. Not the house, not you, not nothin'.<br /><br />5. Cry when you need to.Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06668252458131596362noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-6294759661901456832011-09-19T05:37:11.238-07:002011-09-19T05:37:11.238-07:00Okay, I am new to your blog -- this is the first p...Okay, I am new to your blog -- this is the first post I read and I had to pipe up and send you some eHugs (iHugs? Whatever). I did the attachment parenting thing too with both of my sons, and I remember how much more exhausting it was with the second child, trying to be a perfect mom and only having two small children to split my attention between. I remember the dog vomiting underneath the kitchen table, and how horrified I was that the baby crawled under there and found it first and was putting dog vomit -- yes, DOG VOMIT -- in his MOUTH, for God's sake. I felt all those same feelings of failure, inadequacy, etc. that you're feeling now, and I had only two kids and I was not working outside the home at that time. <br /><br />So, now my boys are 10 and 8. Baby days, diapers and breastfeeding are far behind me, and I have a different set of parenting demands "making" me feel inadequate and frazzled. But I just wanted to reach out to you and tell you that this too shall pass, you're a better mom than you realize, and as long as your baby isn't eating dog vomit, you're still not the worst mom in the world. There! Isn't that better? :-)Rebecca Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14801489818836195754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-71203963191756987392011-09-19T05:03:00.477-07:002011-09-19T05:03:00.477-07:00Full time work, being a good mom and wife, keeping...Full time work, being a good mom and wife, keeping a cleanish home, remaining organized and caring for a crazy dog.... Girl, I feel you. And I think your idea at the end might be the only solution. Clean house when your kids are grown and move out. Isn't it sad to think of how much easier it will be then? Because all we want is to be good moms. Take away the kids, and then there's no point.Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03126410171635504589noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-56886455525852934542011-09-19T05:02:07.979-07:002011-09-19T05:02:07.979-07:00Oh dear Maggie May, it's so hard being the mot...Oh dear Maggie May, it's so hard being the mother of a baby, and of older children, and a wife and a worker, full time, trying to get it all together and having a creative life, as a writer, and keeping a faintly tidy house and getting the odd dose of pleasure along the way, as implied in the beautiful photograph of your four children at the beach a little while ago. <br /><br />You'll get there. You'll all get there, where ever there is, however badly you feel at this moment. <br /><br />This is not a terrible post. It's a masterpiece of life, real life. Thank you.Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015624747225433940noreply@blogger.com