tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post7053632423108794537..comments2023-10-07T07:26:20.469-07:00Comments on Flux Capacitor: The Private Lives of Teenagers: Drugs and Your Sweet BabyMaggie Mayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699674732274478502noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-15642823889988332282012-02-28T05:47:23.963-08:002012-02-28T05:47:23.963-08:00I think drug abuse is common to teens especially i...I think drug abuse is <a href="http://www.mytroubledteen.com/parenting_teens/drug_abuse_signs.php" rel="nofollow">common to teens</a> especially if they live in a community where they can observe their elders use drugs. We parents should be always there to help them avoid such abuse. One way to help them is through knowing what the signs that they are abusing drugs are. Once they are positive then we should do the right things to help them.gladhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01685439192262831289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-16563461765228778192011-07-30T08:09:44.041-07:002011-07-30T08:09:44.041-07:00Oh....and one other observational detail that may ...Oh....and one other observational detail that may be a little different for us. <br /><br />We've tried to be parents (connected, attached, but still parents) with our kids...it's way different than being their friends. Sometimes the thoughtful answer is NO.<br /><br />Don't you wish all of us shiny, suburban parents would be just a bit honest with each other. <br /><br />Here's to all of us parents! Here's to the ongoing struggle....it's so worth the reward!Melaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04997968372890613797noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-65973877503416140062011-07-29T21:33:49.754-07:002011-07-29T21:33:49.754-07:00As a teacher that has worked in different schools ...As a teacher that has worked in different schools with different demographics I will say the most drug use I ever saw, WAS NOT, at the inner city school I teach at now, where most of the kids don't do drugs. They may try them but they don't do them or a regular basis. <br /><br />The most drug use I ever saw was at a mostly white, suburban, upper-middle class school. <br /><br />WHY? <br /><br />Because they have money to buy the drugs. Don't want your kid doing drugs on a regular basis? Don't give them the money to do them.Frank Lenzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07903441453270640201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-89217340320503190212011-07-28T23:02:51.003-07:002011-07-28T23:02:51.003-07:00Very nice post.. The article was very good for the...Very nice post.. The article was very good for the teenagers.. Keep it up.. <a href="http://allweekwalls.com" rel="nofollow">Room Dividers Nyc</a>choihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05505166428167656557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-50938448758340446112011-07-28T16:33:02.047-07:002011-07-28T16:33:02.047-07:00You have successfully scared the shit out of me. ...You have successfully scared the shit out of me. I know this crap happens but I am so lucky that I never experimented with it and I pray that my kids will be the same way. However, I am not naive enough to think that they won't. All I can do is keep the lines of communication very open and try to be as supportive and loving as possible. I will relish in their younger years, while I can.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06952149454502922794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-9451376027169559662011-07-28T12:17:38.283-07:002011-07-28T12:17:38.283-07:00btw- the brain science is SO important. that was (...btw- the brain science is SO important. that was (maybe) the best thing my son learned in the program we put him in- all the science about the brain, what addiction is in the brain, how exactly the brain reacts and changes with what goes into it. it profoundly changed my son's viewpoints.Maggie Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14699674732274478502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-2358890635145343862011-07-28T12:16:27.965-07:002011-07-28T12:16:27.965-07:00Melanie I think we are A LOT alike. I could have w...Melanie I think we are A LOT alike. I could have written what you wrote, except for that my oldest did struggle, and I pray that the struggle won't revisit him when he turns 18 and is 'free' from our oversights and drug tests. <br />THank you for sharing that.Maggie Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14699674732274478502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-77381987154528546352011-07-28T09:05:21.048-07:002011-07-28T09:05:21.048-07:00Oh...my heart aches for all of those truths you wr...Oh...my heart aches for all of those truths you wrote.<br /><br />Our oldest are 18 and 21. So far, we have escaped addiction. So far.<br /><br />However, I've watched some of their most creative, brilliant friends slip into the world of Rx pills. The lost potential! When they were young and playing tag in the dusk, I was so optimistic about the world's future. Those kids were so amazing; they'd change the world and all I would have to do is applaud. Now, I struggle for each positive thought as I've witnessed each of those brilliant friends numb themselves and change their futures to hoping they'll just survive.<br /><br />How have we escaped it (so far?). Um...no clue. My kids had an uncle who just recently finally died of the expected overdose. Maybe it was the constant example of the creepy uncle that have dissuaded them? <br /><br />Maybe it was the painful-for-me talks with them about their fears, pains, failures, successes? <br /><br />Maybe it was that brain science class my one daughter took; a semester to fully describe the physical effects of drugs (even sugar) on your brain?<br /><br />I don't know why they haven't taken the same paths that their friends have taken (so far).<br /><br />And let me tell you, they have VERY rich secret lives. I'm clever (and creepy) enough to sneak around to be aware (like shadows on the wall) of most of their secrets. But they are theirs. Unless it was a life threatener, I would never let on that I knew what I know. And so far (as far as I know), no addiction. Trust me, I am certain there are secrets I don't know.<br /><br />My begging prayers for their safety continue.Melaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04997968372890613797noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-22224573106701694382011-07-27T22:54:18.383-07:002011-07-27T22:54:18.383-07:00SJ- I totally believe you, I mean, i hung out with...SJ- I totally believe you, I mean, i hung out with kids like you so I know they exist. I also think, like I said, that that is the uncommon.<br /><br />Clearness- I intend to write a post about just that.<br /><br />Svasti- There are some great books out there on hypothyroidism and it's workings in the body, and how better manage it with nutritional changes. I can recommend if you like, email me. <br /><br />Grease Monkey Girl- I'm sure for someone like you, you knew how to hide the signs, after what you saw with your brother. I think about this with my younger kids, too.<br /><br />Angella- You are so communicative and open. That is huge.<br /><br />and growing- prayers for us, yes!<br /><br />Jo- that is the flip side...one book that talks about what you describe is 'Reviving Ophelia'- a fantastic book. <br /><br />Anymommy- Dangit. Thank you friend. xo<br /><br />Martha- It sounds like you've done a good job Momma.<br /><br />Malande- It's true, absolutely, we don't have 'total control'. It is our job to do the best we can with what we know, and what I'd like is for the parents in my community to know- and be willing to- more about what is really happening. It's a start, and an important and very possible one.<br /><br />Elizabeth- Maybe it's the type of communities we live in that explains the difference, I'm not sure. But I run into this casual attitude everywhere, like 'not my kid' and 'ah, you're worrying too much'<br /><br />CM- Thank you, kind and wise and quiet soul.<br /><br />Caro- THANK YOU. It's amazing that you shared all that. I've read it twice, and your story is so common, but often untold. xo<br /><br />Magpie- Thank you old blogger friend.<br /><br />Lora- I imagine that you of all people are doing a kick ass job of communicating, open eyed, with your son. xo<br /><br />Amelia- I was, and now I'm more like... determined. <br /><br />Nod- The more we talk, the better.<br /><br />Petit- YES EXACTLY. <br /><br />Jen- I am going to do a follow up post that addresses what we can do, since I did this one which is, let's face it, a bummer. ;)Maggie Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14699674732274478502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-33358976978486500932011-07-27T20:42:31.621-07:002011-07-27T20:42:31.621-07:00I absolutely loved and hated this post because it&...I absolutely loved and hated this post because it's so in-your-face true.<br /><br />The question is, how do I prevent my child from using drugs?<br /><br />I don't know what will work and it scares the hell out of me.<br /><br />Ignorance is bliss . . . until it's my child that overdoses.<br /><br />Thank you so much for writing this. It's an ugly subject. Thank you for bringing it to light. This needs to be said and people need to listen.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00318896983881760028noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-62750457401438611772011-07-27T15:24:32.091-07:002011-07-27T15:24:32.091-07:00Also because kids and teens and tweens are still d...Also because kids and teens and tweens are still developing, the addiction process is accelerated big big time, even in kids who are not predisposed by heredity, etc... Also, their cell make up and how there organs and systems function become altered to such an extent that they really DO need the drug in question and it's very very hard to get clean.Petit fleurhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02626110471501778855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-91530624404345916942011-07-27T13:48:34.086-07:002011-07-27T13:48:34.086-07:00yes yes yes. well said. i need to forward this to ...yes yes yes. well said. i need to forward this to many people now.NodToStylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13637963969510868866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-33788911148811803822011-07-27T12:39:46.949-07:002011-07-27T12:39:46.949-07:00I'm terrified.I'm terrified.Ameliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07115154893444857726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-2666634439791155562011-07-27T08:19:02.052-07:002011-07-27T08:19:02.052-07:00hooray for this post, for your bravery, and for th...hooray for this post, for your bravery, and for the facts you put on this page.<br /><br />we talk about drugs with our 5 year old son, we started 2 years ago. We point out behaviors that hurt him or scare him done by the people he loves when they are under the influence of drugs. we frame addiction as a disease. one that needs treatment, understanding, time. One that stems from hurt- physical, emotional, mental.<br /><br />Thank you, again. For this.Lorahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11721629115039897949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-66820962343835624282011-07-27T07:39:28.406-07:002011-07-27T07:39:28.406-07:00excellent post. my kid is only seven, but i think ...excellent post. my kid is only seven, but i think about this stuff a lot.Magpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15460136246441367993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-66633775997477259562011-07-27T07:11:16.499-07:002011-07-27T07:11:16.499-07:00Maggie, this is awesome.
Addiction runs in both ...Maggie, this is awesome. <br /><br />Addiction runs in both sides of my family and on my husband's. I am from a family that has an addict who is still struggling and therefore I must also work a program of my own recovery (addiction is not just a disease of drug abuse--it's a disease of relationships). Part of that recovery involves trying to change the paralysis that I feel when I think about the possibility of my own children having a problem. It terrifies me. But I promise you, Maggie, I won't be one of the parent's that becomes an ostrich. <br /><br />Practical tools always help me not to feel helpless. Essays like this one (thank YOU) and I have also found lots of great tools, advice, tips, and important "inside" info (like the street language of drugs for example) at The Partnership of a Drug Free America. This link, has especially helped me http://www.drugfree.org/prevent<br />as it focuses on what we as parents can do to prevent our children from a life of addiction.Maybe it's not for everyone, but it has been a tool that has helped me. <br /><br />Maggie, THANK YOU for this post. You have no idea how much I thank you for this. xoCarolinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04953764061091454844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-46952413252329624642011-07-27T05:42:37.309-07:002011-07-27T05:42:37.309-07:00excellent post and important advice for parents--g...excellent post and important advice for parents--great work.C.M. Jacksonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06936560662110633442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-14518706177378514122011-07-27T00:51:58.144-07:002011-07-27T00:51:58.144-07:00I personally don't know anyone who blows this ...I personally don't know anyone who blows this off or is casual about it -- most of my friends are terrified, even those who claim to have been wild as teenagers themselves. I don't know, Maggie -- I don't think there's a way to control all the variables. We can write all the beautiful words we want and extol the virtues of staying drug free -- be as vigilant as possible -- but we can't control everything, and our children are going to make their own paths. As for the people who blow this serious stuff off completely -- avoid them like the plague --Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03313726816776097840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-60105201096003242892011-07-26T22:53:05.698-07:002011-07-26T22:53:05.698-07:00The hardest thing to deal with is the fact it'...The hardest thing to deal with is the fact it's most out of your control, as a parent, by the time it becomes an issue.<br /><br />Education at an earlier age helps but even then if your child has friends who think its something fun to mess around with, it can still be a problem.<br /><br />I was one of the geek-iest kids I know at school (in the UK) and even I had started drinking by 15, and experimented at the weekends by early college. But I think those our our most vulnerable years. By the time I was 18 I'd come to the realisation I didn't have to 'do what was popular to fit in' and the people who liked me liked me for who I was rather than what I did.<br /><br />And that I think is a lesson parents have a hard time getting across. I thank my mother, and her trust that i'd come straight and heart felt advice, for that one ^_^. <br /><br />So as with most things in life I think the best you can aim for is to talk about drugs early, TRUST your children (even if they're deeply un-trustworthy); they're more likely to come to you with problems if they don't feel you're constantly pushing them, and be there for their later teen years to reinforce their individuality and to listen when they need you.<br /><br />Oh and be sound in the knowledge that although they may experiment when they're young teens, it's better for them to get it out of they're system early and to learn about these things, as before you know it they'll be young adults and what's learnt in their teens will help them when they're out in the world on their own.Cunning_Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14462696523713656203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-68629339508553045892011-07-26T21:24:19.046-07:002011-07-26T21:24:19.046-07:00I was on my son from four years old on. My family ...I was on my son from four years old on. My family drank...my brother was an alcoholic, now recovered. The father of my son's best friend was an addict and went to rehab. It opened the NO DRUGS door. I chanted the words, gave him clear explanations, looked in his eyes when he came home at night. After his teenage years were done, and he had "apparently" remained drug and alcohol free, he said I was paranoid. He said, "If I had wanted to use drugs I would have," meaning that I had little influence. HA! Make me laugh, son. Now that he's 28, and drinks, I worry still about that accursed gene and pray it will leave him unscathed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-55539913485483613722011-07-26T20:31:25.604-07:002011-07-26T20:31:25.604-07:00Maggie your persuasive writing is just as good as ...Maggie your persuasive writing is just as good as your descriptive writing. Painfully good. "I don't even know why I took it." That is it. Right there. I didn't know why I did really stupid things. I hope to hold onto your wisdom for the next ten years.anymommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11317877435130121894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-41919289112941398222011-07-26T18:08:30.477-07:002011-07-26T18:08:30.477-07:00I'm not a mom, and and as each year goes by th...I'm not a mom, and and as each year goes by the likelihood that I ever will be grows less and less. I'm in my 30s and feel that times have changed so much since I was a teen. I lived in a small California town, and was that good girl in high school who did no wrong, even though I dated a college guy. To break it down, I didn't want to disappoint my parents. Not sure how they instilled that in me, but...<br />I was completely happy to be completely innocent. <br />Then when I left home, life happened, it hit me hard, and I had no one to turn to. No one to talk with, or get advice from...because I didn't want to disappoint. All this is to say that it is so tough to be a parent. I can't even imagine. There were no drugs, but there certainly was drink...and lots of it. All I can say, from the childless perspective, is that in my early 20s I sure wish I wasn't so afraid to be human, or so embarrassed to talk to my parents.Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16277973787647515497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-70627854950948648762011-07-26T17:54:52.752-07:002011-07-26T17:54:52.752-07:00Deep breaths and great big prayers for all parents...Deep breaths and great big prayers for all parents of teenagers. I know I'll need it when my time comes.6512 and growinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05992480917176737462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-6601423097437539492011-07-26T17:41:08.001-07:002011-07-26T17:41:08.001-07:00thank you for this, maggie. i talk to my kids, an...thank you for this, maggie. i talk to my kids, and then by god, i pray, because i know how stupid i was even though everyone thought i was smart. this is the most terrifying part of raising kids. by far. so thank you.37paddingtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12400464105403622384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-44599064277907369872011-07-26T17:32:37.837-07:002011-07-26T17:32:37.837-07:00Maggie, you're so right. I am pushing 30 and a...Maggie, you're so right. I am pushing 30 and afraid to have children. I dont trust kids, I dont trust teenagers, I dont trust teachers, I dont trust the neighbors. by the time I was 12 I was a smoker, partied on weekends, drinking and smoking pot. By the time I was 14 I was selling weed to my teachers neighbors and friends...taking coricedin by the handful (cold pills) I had taken acid and "x" and "candy flipped" which is when you take both of them together. I have taken various pain killers, opiates, mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics, and muscle relaxers, I have even "smoked" a pain patch. I've done opium, special k and cocaine. I completely quit doing drugs when I was 19. My biggest accomplishment to date is surviving my teen years. I am here to tell you, my parents had absolutely NO idea! None, wouldn't have guessed, I had good grades, I was active in church, and basically....i was the perfect little liar. I hate my teen self, the little bitch that had everyone fooled, but I survived. all of that drug use has caught up. My kidneys don't work the same, my bones ache, I have frequent headaches, a horrible memory, and wild emotions. God help any parent trying to raise a teen right now. Even with all of my drug use history, I dont know the first thing about the drugs out now....what the hell, how can you get high on epsom salt??? I am scared. Keep the conversation between you and your children open, but people, remember....check their drawers, lockers, backpacks, cars, closets, between mattresses....everywhere. Teenagers dont deserve privacy, no matter how good or trustworthy they are...in reality they should be treated with caution. By the way, my parents were no dummies. The had my older brother in rehab by the time he was 16. They looked for signs: slipping grades, etc. it's just sometimes, the signs aren't there.Grease Monkey GIRLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17172838931565445363noreply@blogger.com