Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Our Baby Is Gone.

Monday night I began miscarrying. Mr. Curry took me to the ER. After an hour or two I
birthed our baby. My body wouldn't stop bleeding. I lost too much blood. I had surgery.
I had a blood transfusion. I am home. Our family is is mourning. My little baby had
passed away a week ago apparently. There was nothing anyone could do.
at

95 comments:

  1. MargoJune 3, 2009 at 1:07 PM

    I am so sorry :)

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  2. Jenny GraceJune 3, 2009 at 4:35 PM

    Oh my darling I am SO sorry.

    Sending you big, sloppy, internet hugs. Please let me know if there's anything I can do?

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  3. michellewooJune 3, 2009 at 4:36 PM

    Oh, Maggie, I am so sorry. Hugs and prayers for you right now.

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  4. LeightongirlJune 3, 2009 at 4:40 PM

    I'm so sorry.

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  5. RachaelJune 3, 2009 at 4:46 PM

    So, so sorry for your loss.

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  6. LauraJune 3, 2009 at 4:52 PM

    Oh Maggie... I am so so sorry. I know how you feel right now. I had a miscarriage last summer. My sister had one a few weeks after me. I couldn't imagine feeling any more sadness and I felt like no one understood or could relate. No one really talks about their miscarriages and I had no idea the feeling of loss that would come with it. I spent hours and hours online finding other woman who had gone through the same thing and reading their stories. Somehow that helped me. Your body can have actual feelings of postpartum depression, and mine certainly did. Just remember that it will get better, you will feel the weight lift, and its okay to take as much time as you need to grieve. I barely know you, but I am crying right now for you, just remembering the pain that I felt when I went through this such a short time ago. I am so sorry. My thoughts will be with you and your family.

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  7. Sara KempffJune 3, 2009 at 4:53 PM

    i never understood the pain of miscarriage until i experienced it myself. even then, the pain was barely understandable. :.(

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  8. Steam Me Up, KidJune 3, 2009 at 4:56 PM

    Oh, Maggie. I am so, so sorry. I'm thinking of you and your family tonight.

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  9. Petunia FaceJune 3, 2009 at 4:58 PM

    Oh no oh no oh no oh no. I am so sorry. Wishing you and your family strength and grace and many many hugs.

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  10. ~ ennui ~June 3, 2009 at 5:07 PM

    So very, very sorry....

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  11. BethJune 3, 2009 at 5:19 PM

    Such sad news. I am so very sorry. Take care of yourself - in every way.

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  12. *mary*June 3, 2009 at 5:27 PM

    I am so sorry. I have experienced this particular hell. My thoughts are with you.

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  13. UnknownJune 3, 2009 at 5:29 PM

    Prayers of healing to you and your family, I am so sorry....

    Peace - Rene

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  14. Kate MooreJune 3, 2009 at 5:42 PM

    Like everyone else here, there's so little I can do, can say, but sorry. My heart sinks for you and yours, for plans, for people and places and ideas and lives and living that will not happen - but will still happen, if that makes sense. Grieve and write and cook and hold and cry and be and read and live. Lots of love.

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  15. PamJune 3, 2009 at 5:52 PM

    so so sorry on the death of your baby, a huge sadness for you and your whole family....

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  16. Woman in a WindowJune 3, 2009 at 5:53 PM

    OOOooooh
    i am so sorry.
    so sorry~
    erin

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  17. Ms. MoonJune 3, 2009 at 6:07 PM

    Oh Maggie. Oh Maggie. Oh no.
    I want to wrap my arms around you. I want to say, "I know, I know." I want to make you rice pudding and I want to bring you flowers. I want to say that somehow something was worked out in a cosmic way.
    I want to put my hand on your belly and say, "I am sorry. Someone lived here. The pain is evidence of this."
    I want to tell you I am glad you are alive.

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  18. kristaJune 3, 2009 at 6:21 PM

    oh my goodness.
    i am so sorry.
    my thoughts are with you and your family...

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  19. AnnieJune 3, 2009 at 6:29 PM

    Maggie, I'm so sorry. I'm in tears for you and your family. Please, take care of yourself. Give yourself time, and love.

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  20. SandiJune 3, 2009 at 6:32 PM

    Maggie- My heart is breaking for all of you. I know how loved and wanted this little baby was.

    I miscarried my first baby at seventeen weeks. It was horrible. In the past two years we have lost three pregnancies that never made it past six weeks. The first one was worse than any of the others. I think having seen and felt that baby move, it was so much more real.

    I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. Huge Hugs Maggie May. I will sit here and cry with you.

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  21. UnknownJune 3, 2009 at 6:37 PM

    Oh nooooooo! I'm so sorry. I don't know how I would deal with such a thing, strength and love is being sent your way!

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  22. LolaJune 3, 2009 at 6:48 PM

    I don't have any words to help you feel better, so I'll just say I'm truly sorry for you and your family and that I know the sadness.

    Take care, my friend.

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  23. steenky beeJune 3, 2009 at 6:49 PM

    Maggie, no! Oh, sweetie, I am so so very sorry to hear this. I've been MIA (again) for a while and just now is the first time I looked over my reader in over three weeks. I saw this post. Oh my God. I'm so glad I looked through my reader. There are no words that anyone can say that will take away your pain. I'll be thinking of you and your family tonight.

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  24. katydidnotJune 3, 2009 at 6:52 PM

    i am so sorry. i will be thinking of you.

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  25. LemonJune 3, 2009 at 7:05 PM

    oh maggie, my heart is wretching for you! i am so so sorry to see this post. thinking and praying and hoping the best for your family!

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  26. HappyflowerJune 3, 2009 at 7:20 PM

    Maggie,

    I don't even know what to say other than I am thinking about you and your family and this is so sad, very sad.

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  27. MarinkaJune 3, 2009 at 7:26 PM

    I am so, so sorry, I'm thinking of you and your family.

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  28. VicJune 3, 2009 at 7:27 PM

    I've been there too (a few times). It's pretty awful.
    I'm so sorry, Maggie. You'll (truly) be in my thoughts.

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  29. PaulaJune 3, 2009 at 7:28 PM

    I am so sorry for your loss.

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  30. Robin.June 3, 2009 at 7:35 PM

    oh god maggie, i am so sorry. my heart is broken for you.

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  31. MeghanJune 3, 2009 at 7:43 PM

    Oh Maggie...
    I have no words to express how my heart aches for you and your family. I don't pretend to know what or how to deal with the trauma that you may be experiencing through your body and soul. Know that there is love all around you and many positive thoughts coming your way.
    ~Meghan

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  32. Steph(anie)June 3, 2009 at 7:49 PM

    Maggie, I'm so sorry.

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  33. Bird BathJune 3, 2009 at 7:51 PM

    so sorry to hear of your loss. hug.

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  34. Aunt BeckyJune 3, 2009 at 7:55 PM

    I am so very sorry for your loss. There are no words for me to express how deep my sorrow is.

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  35. nfmgirlJune 3, 2009 at 8:23 PM

    I am soooo sorry for your loss. Nothing but good thoughts are coming your way.

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  36. LaceyJune 3, 2009 at 8:57 PM

    What? I am... in disbelief. And I am so, so, so sorry for your loss. And I've been sitting here staring at the screen for five minutes trying to come up with something, anything, better to say than "miscarriages suck." But... miscarriages suck. Please let me know if there's anything I can do.

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  37. RileyJune 3, 2009 at 8:58 PM

    I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I am so sorry that happened. When I was younger one of my friends had a miscarriage, it was one of the most trying things in her life

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  38. ElizabethJune 3, 2009 at 8:59 PM

    Oh, no. I'm so sorry. I read somewhere that miscarriage is the only death where one receives no flowers. I send you flowers, bunches of them.

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  39. Rachael Schirano \\ Rachael Schirano PhotographyJune 3, 2009 at 9:34 PM

    words never feel right enough...but please know that you are in my heart + in my thoughts. i am so, so sorry. hugs + prayers.

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  40. SomeoneJune 3, 2009 at 9:50 PM

    I'm so very sorry for your families loss. My thoughts are with you and your family tonight.

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  41. Chaos and loveJune 3, 2009 at 10:01 PM

    love to you and Mr. Curry, and Lola, and Dakota, and Ian. Holding you in my thoughts.

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  42. anymommyJune 3, 2009 at 10:02 PM

    Maggie, I am so very sorry. I couldn't believe the title of this post. This is the worst kind of hurt, frustration, helplessness. Thinking of you with love and warmth. I hope you can keep your beautiful family in your heart while you take your time and heal.

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  43. AnonymousJune 3, 2009 at 10:38 PM

    I'm so sorry for you and your family Maggie. Peace to you all.

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  44. PurestGreenJune 3, 2009 at 11:19 PM

    Maggie...Maggie...Maggie...Maggie. I'm sorry the only thing I can wrap around you is this little chant. I'm so sorry.

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  45. AnonymousJune 4, 2009 at 12:17 AM

    I'm so so sorry. You are in my thoughts.

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  46. VashtiJune 4, 2009 at 12:29 AM

    Oh Maggie I am so sorry. Praying for peace and healing. Take care of your self in ALL ways.
    Lots of lovexxx

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  47. LizJune 4, 2009 at 12:52 AM

    Maggie, I am so, so sorry...thinking of you and your family and wishing you courage and strength.
    take care
    Liz
    x

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  48. julochkaJune 4, 2009 at 1:07 AM

    i'm so, so sorry for you. the same happened to me last november. it's so scary and so hard.

    thinking of you...

    xox,
    /julie

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  49. Polly RowanJune 4, 2009 at 1:57 AM

    I'm so so sorry for your loss.

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  50. AnonymousJune 4, 2009 at 3:12 AM

    Mag, I am so very sorry. Sending much love, and keeping you close to heart an in my prayers.

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  51. SharonJune 4, 2009 at 3:51 AM

    Hold tight to those around you to help you through this mournful time. I am so sorry for your loss.

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  52. AmberJune 4, 2009 at 3:52 AM

    Oh my god! I dont know what to say. I dont know you, but I am so so devistated for you. I cant imagine how you must feel. I hope you have a lot of support and love around you. Lean on everyone and let them help you through this. I wish you all the best.

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  53. AnonymousJune 4, 2009 at 4:31 AM

    I fear anything I type....would just seem to minimize it.
    I'll be thinking of you. ~Mary

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  54. IrisJune 4, 2009 at 6:10 AM

    Oh gosh. I am so sorry.

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  55. KurtJune 4, 2009 at 6:16 AM

    I'm so sorry Maggie. My thoughts are with you.

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  56. EvangelineJune 4, 2009 at 6:22 AM

    I am so very sorry Maggie.

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  57. DKCJune 4, 2009 at 6:37 AM

    Oh, darling. I am so, so very, very sorry. One thing I found after having my miscarriages - it's amazing how many women deal with it, and how few talk about it. That would be my advice - talk about it. It's painful, heartbreaking and you have every right to mourn for as long as you need.

    Sending good thoughts your way.

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  58. BeeJune 4, 2009 at 7:04 AM

    I know you wanted this baby so much; I'm so sorry for you and your family.

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  59. Badass GeekJune 4, 2009 at 7:12 AM

    I can only imagine the hurt. I am sorry. So sorry.

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  60. ErinJune 4, 2009 at 7:37 AM

    Oh, Maggie May. Aching for you.

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  61. CashmereLibrarianJune 4, 2009 at 7:45 AM

    I am so, so sorry. Please take care of yourself.

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  62. PalagiGirlJune 4, 2009 at 7:46 AM

    Oh Maggie, I am so so sorry. You are in my prayers.

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  63. JohannaJune 4, 2009 at 7:51 AM

    I am so sorry.

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  64. Angelica June 4, 2009 at 8:22 AM

    Lots of hugs from me and I'm so very, very sorry for your loss.

    Angelica

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  65. KristinJune 4, 2009 at 10:21 AM

    I am so very sorry.

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  66. AmberJune 4, 2009 at 10:42 AM

    you have strength, real strength sharing this with us. hold to that strength and courage. with that said...i too, am so sorry for your loss, and i couldn't begin to understand the pain you and your family must be feeling.

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  67. annaJune 4, 2009 at 11:39 AM

    i'm so sorry, warmest most heartfelt blessings to you and your family

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  68. Radish KingJune 4, 2009 at 12:11 PM

    Oh dear god, I am so sorry to hear it, Maggie May. Take care of yourself sweetheart. So very sorry.
    Rebecca

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  69. AmberJune 4, 2009 at 12:31 PM

    I am truly sorry..even having been there, I have no words, just know you and your family are in my thoughts. Take care, Maggie May.

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  70. In The LoopJune 4, 2009 at 1:33 PM

    Maggie, I am so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you and Mr. Curry.

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  71. CSD Faux FinishingJune 4, 2009 at 1:46 PM

    Prayers go out to you and your whole family, I am so very sorry to hear this news.

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  72. Chaos and loveJune 4, 2009 at 1:49 PM

    I just realized I sent love and forgot an important person. Sending love to your baby. Maggie, I just wanna sit in your comfy kitchen and have a good chat, and maybe a bit of a cry. Soo much xoxox to you!
    Carrie

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  73. AnonymousJune 4, 2009 at 2:16 PM

    Maggie,
    I am deeply sorry. You are in my thoughts, truly.

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  74. S.L. CorsuaJune 4, 2009 at 2:32 PM

    Oh. My... (My jaw dropped and I couldn't make me fingers type for several minutes.)

    I'm a complete stranger and I'm 'virtually' hugging you right now. Maggie, I am so, so, so sorry for your loss. Please be well. Know you are loved.

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  75. a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous!June 4, 2009 at 3:41 PM

    weeping.

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  76. Mickey DubrowJune 4, 2009 at 7:40 PM

    I am so sorry Maggie.

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  77. jessica handlerJune 4, 2009 at 7:41 PM

    I am so, so sorry. I am sending Web hugs and hot tea and a hand to hold.

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  78. Captain DumbassJune 4, 2009 at 8:18 PM

    What do you say to something like that except I'm sorry? Be well.

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  79. AnonymousJune 4, 2009 at 11:14 PM

    i am so very sorry for you. my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    lauren

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  80. TiffanyJune 5, 2009 at 3:02 AM

    No words are right or enough to take the overbearing pain away. Please know that you are all in my thoughts.

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  81. RachelJune 5, 2009 at 5:57 AM

    I am so sorry. I went through surgery and transfusion in 2005 when I lost my little boy. Its so unfair and cruel. I hope you are able to rest and heal physically. Emotionally, it will just take time.

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  82. Patois42June 5, 2009 at 7:44 AM

    I am so sorry. I hope you won't be offended by me saying I'm going to include you all in my prayers.

    And big hugs from me to you.

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  83. ShannonJune 5, 2009 at 8:05 AM

    I am so sorry Maggie. So very sorry.

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  84. Valerie LovelandJune 5, 2009 at 7:15 PM

    Aw, Maggie. I'll be thinking about you.

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  85. Jason, as himselfJune 5, 2009 at 7:41 PM

    Add my "I'm so sorry" on top the other 83.

    But I really mean it, just as I know everyone else does.

    Life is just too hard sometimes.

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  86. Jeanne EstridgeJune 6, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    Oh, Maggie, I'm so, so sorry, I know how you waited and longed for this child. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you, and Mr. Curry and the kids as you go through this difficult time.

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  87. Kristi DrennanJune 6, 2009 at 5:38 PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss! That's a terrible thing to go through.

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  88. UnknownJune 6, 2009 at 6:16 PM

    I am so so sorry and send all of my best wishes during this difficult time.
    xo

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  89. sarasophiaJune 7, 2009 at 11:52 PM

    Oh my darling! I am so so so sorry!
    I have been away from my computer for a few days and didn't see your post until now. My heart grieves and my eyes let fall their own stricken rain in echo of your loss.

    A million miles away and still I so want to do anything I can to help you....if you need anything please email me (tout_est_des_roses@yahoo.com). It is probably silly and useless to even offer but, know that my entire soul feels for you and wishes I could take this bad bad thing away.

    Putting my arm around your shoulders,
    sarasophia

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  90. HollyJune 8, 2009 at 3:36 PM

    oh my, i feel like i was just punched in the stomach, i can't imagine what you are going through. :( maggie, i am soo sorry.

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  91. Maggie MadisonJune 10, 2009 at 8:10 PM

    you are in my thoughts.

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  92. LindsayJune 12, 2009 at 2:17 PM

    I stummbled upon your blog and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw this post. I am 27, living in Southern California, and I have had 2 miscarriages. My husband and I are talking about trying again. It is hard and devastating. I know nothing about you, but if you ever need to talk, I might benefit from it as well. Good luck and I am so sorry for your loss.

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  93. MagpieJune 12, 2009 at 7:55 PM

    I am so sorry and I hope that you are taking care of yourself.

    Holding you in my heart.

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  94. UnknownJune 13, 2009 at 8:54 PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I only just found out. It must be a very hard thing to have to go through. I hope you are taking care of yourself. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  95. Todd ColbyJune 16, 2009 at 3:23 AM

    I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you.

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