Monday, March 28, 2011

zac efron and contraception

- Exhaustion finally caught up with me. Ever wakes anywhere from 2 to 6 times a night to nurse. The two times nights are good. The six, not so. So. Tired. The laundry is epic, spilling over in the hallways like an orphanage. Ever's toys, swings, bouncy chair, play mat, etc have taken over the house. Mr. Curry was woken up twice the other night by unidentified toys turning themselves on. In other news, I was woken up twice the other night by turning myself on. I had a long epic dream about my husband and zac efron. Is that wrong? I sat behind zac and drew a heart on his neck with lipstick, then told him I feel like Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis in Top Gun, except I am way hotter than Kelly McGillis! And everyone watching us ( don't ask ) stood up and applauded. ? ? ?....
- When I'm worrying about something small, something completely insignificant in the scheme of things, 90% of the time I will get a flash of something horrible, something like illness and premature death and I will think What an idiot you are! Then I will wonder what life would be like if we existed, all of us, in perfect non-worry and only mused on significant matters. What would happen if no one worried about anything that wasn't really, really important? What would the world look like? Would we all look like bankers?
-Mr. Curry and I had sex last night. This in itself is worthy of a bulletin point on my list. It was the first time we have gone in a room ALONE and closed the door and had sex since Ever was born. Angels wept, clouds parted, Woody Allen blew his nose and said that life couldn't be all neurosis and tragedy, could it? And then, the condom broke. The entire tip of the condom fell off and we had no idea until we had a really GOOD idea. And by then, it was too late.
-So today, Mr. Curry, Ever Elizabeth and I headed to the Kaiser pharmacy for a morning after pill. The pharmacist, who looked amazingly like the old farmer in Babe, explained to me that this pill was not for the use of birth control, but for emergency only. I adjusted my hips. Well, I explained, just as carefully, my husband and I have a brand new baby and last night we had sex and the entire tip of the condom broke off. So it was an emergency. He turned beet red and snorfled his nose and stared at the rectangular package as he put it in the bag and agreed that, yes, that counted as a contraceptive emergency. Mr. Curry said afterward that all the Babe pharmacist was probably thinking was you recently had sex! you recently had sex! vagina, vagina vagina! I think that's generous, and he was probably thinking All I wanted was a bagel for lunch and instead I have to hear about this girl's broken condom. I hate my job.
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