tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post1821266840038291611..comments2023-10-07T07:26:20.469-07:00Comments on Flux Capacitor: CleavingMaggie Mayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699674732274478502noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-11707332017854933242009-04-14T19:12:00.000-07:002009-04-14T19:12:00.000-07:00I don't think we are meant to have profound agreem...I don't think we are meant to have profound agreement with our mates. I think the profound disagreements are what define our relationship. If they can be suffered/tolerated/withstood, then no split. God/Allah/Buddha/Gaia grant us the strength to survive these moments as a couple.Maggie Madisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05944610454486027594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-91685383251670828712009-03-25T05:09:00.000-07:002009-03-25T05:09:00.000-07:00i do love youi do love youAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-75580441693000692112009-03-24T21:54:00.000-07:002009-03-24T21:54:00.000-07:00sorry to hear your are going through a rough patch...sorry to hear your are going through a rough patch. At least having your own corners take some of the pressure off...<BR/><BR/>with your level of self-awareness, I am sure you will be work out how hard you must 'fight' for your marriage.<BR/><BR/>My marriage also has passionate ups and downs,we got together at 19 and some days I wonder...other days I cherish.Bird Bathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03918396655766734244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-22648975125243947592009-03-24T08:53:00.000-07:002009-03-24T08:53:00.000-07:00OH, it makes me so sad to hear of marriage difficu...OH, it makes me so sad to hear of marriage difficulties! Boo! I agree with what some others said, stress is going to bring out the hardships in any relationship and taking time for yourself is a necessity! Also, the bi-polar thing has got to be hard. I had a roommate that was bi-polar and I moved out 2 months later, I couldn't handle it. I hope things start looking up, it sounds like you both want it to work and will do what you can and that is the best step of all!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15615430255988669257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-72440122768334943602009-03-24T07:56:00.000-07:002009-03-24T07:56:00.000-07:00wonderfully revealing post. it must have been a r...wonderfully revealing post. it must have been a relief to write.? my advice would be to look to the stars. nothing makes you feel more autonomous than the universe at large. it helps you understand that we are neither alone in life, or together. we are just experiencing existence with a heart. & if energy never ends, but only changes form - then you can possibly control how this energy between you and your husband changes in its form. <BR/><BR/>"Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.<BR/>For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.<BR/>And stand together yet not too near together:<BR/>For the pillars of the temple stand apart,<BR/>And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow." ~ Kahlil GibranSara Kempffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00824675394395005698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-54917353980128056222009-03-24T05:41:00.000-07:002009-03-24T05:41:00.000-07:00Marriage is not at 3 years what it was at 1 year. ...Marriage is not at 3 years what it was at 1 year. Life changes us, and that can't be helped.<BR/><BR/>Sometimes, though, the changes hurt.Badass Geekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01030944236271663794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-12745186766674064692009-03-23T22:03:00.000-07:002009-03-23T22:03:00.000-07:00Well acquainted with elephants in the room, and sc...Well acquainted with elephants in the room, and scary charming fathers.<BR/><BR/>Here's to the breathing room you need, and a peaceful heart.Vichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08714719295648072474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-70085032967002696322009-03-23T21:30:00.000-07:002009-03-23T21:30:00.000-07:00I have to say I am lucky to be in a smooth patch o...I have to say I am lucky to be in a smooth patch of what is a tough relationship. My partner and I were laughing just yesterday that we never, ever, ever have taken the easy path. We're struggling with a teen - nearly an adult, but a child - who wants to take the easy path, of which we both know there is none. Disappointments will come and are almost being heralded in by this child. In the meantime, my partner and I anchor ourselves ready for the onslaught of emotions, the tantrums and wicked, nasty behaviours to come. It's tiring, conflict. So tiring. Get some sleep, hon. That's all I can offer. Anchor yourself and get some sleep.Kate Moorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11731006032499344619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-91834123377561561442009-03-23T20:18:00.000-07:002009-03-23T20:18:00.000-07:00I love the idea of just going to your separate cor...I love the idea of just going to your separate corners for awhile. Hopefully that's all you need.Captain Dumbasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214826608461609241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-14396270874557645062009-03-23T20:14:00.000-07:002009-03-23T20:14:00.000-07:00I just wanted to say that I read this and I think ...I just wanted to say that I read this and I think you are both handling it with grace. Sometimes, all you can do is agree to retreat, figure things out and try again.<BR/><BR/>That's real love, I think, because real love doesn't walk away.anymommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17870033179328734404noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-10257416716144039872009-03-23T18:16:00.000-07:002009-03-23T18:16:00.000-07:00I am so grateful for the responses here, which hav...I am so grateful for the responses here, which have helped me.<BR/><BR/>MS MOON YOU are wise. I am so glad you responded- I hoped you would. I like that you mentioned flux...I try to keep my head up.<BR/><BR/>SMU thanks for just telling me the truth. I feel like you are in MY corner.<BR/><BR/>BLOGGINGMOM same goes to you. just hearing i'm not alone--even though of course intellectually i know it- is so helpful.<BR/><BR/>PETUNIA thanks, and i love your endearments. i'm a big endearment person too :) <BR/><BR/>RACHEL exactly. and just reading you write that is part of that for me.<BR/><BR/>JELLY JULES thanks for the idea. i'll check it out- i'm very open minded toward reading about anything that might be helpful, giving it a chance.<BR/><BR/>LOLA wow. thank you so much for sharing so personally. that seriously made me feel better, even though you had no shining moment of truth, just hearing that you guys hang it out and make it worthwhile is awesome. we never know who will make it and who won't. i'm just determined to be happy.<BR/><BR/>SANDI thank you! you are a sweetheart.<BR/><BR/>VASHTI your words always have such a calming effect on me for some reason. i get the feeling you are a very special soul.<BR/><BR/>ELIZABETH i read what you wrote to my friend. thank you.<BR/><BR/>LACEY brilliant analogy and SO true.<BR/><BR/>MS GRACE<BR/>COLLIN<BR/>PALAI GIRL<BR/>thanks for the props, guys.<BR/><BR/>BIBLIOMOM i do agree. what matters to me is that we aren't doing anything damaging.<BR/><BR/>BELLA thank you for the support, and the not feeling alone factor- yes, that is so important<BR/><BR/>BEE i swear you almost brought tears to my eyes. i feel like i was talking to a wonderful therapist reading your honest words. thank you so much.<BR/><BR/>RACHAEL thank you for the supportive words and thoughts.<BR/><BR/>BETH thank you! i appreciate the good thoughts and encouragment. it is wonderful to have.Maggie Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14699674732274478502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-27055875045808125942009-03-23T16:13:00.000-07:002009-03-23T16:13:00.000-07:00So sorry to hear about your troubles but there is ...So sorry to hear about your troubles but there is a positive note in your post. You both recognize the problems that exist and possess the maturity to take a time-out.<BR/>Trust your instincts and listen to your heart.Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14110235078325434919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-15667215000021788442009-03-23T15:26:00.000-07:002009-03-23T15:26:00.000-07:00Hopefully after a little reprieve, you can weather...Hopefully after a little reprieve, you can weather this and come out stronger on the other end. Hugs to you. Sounds like you have more than your fair share on your plate right now.Rachaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00992203896914180674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-28923196108616008502009-03-23T14:57:00.000-07:002009-03-23T14:57:00.000-07:00You need to give yourself a ton of credit for gett...You need to give yourself a ton of credit for getting out of bed in the morning and taking care of your life. You have A LOT of big things to deal with, and that is in addition to the emotional baggage that you carry. It's a weird thing, but I had a father the very opposite of yours (very gentle; very passive), and yet I cannot stand emotional conflict either. I have been extremely self-effacing in my marriage in order to avoid it. (I have a husband who sees pretty much everything differently than I do; that seems to be a common theme here amongst commenters). Our marriage is a struggle, maybe not every day, but certainly every year. I know that we love each other, though -- and more importantly than that (sometimes), we are a family. <BR/><BR/>Actually, you seem to have a pretty good handle on it, considering everything. Take care -- and hugsBeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02375981493145612394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-85373602654480699622009-03-23T13:50:00.000-07:002009-03-23T13:50:00.000-07:00I agree with Rachel. Your own struggles become les...I agree with Rachel. Your own struggles become less threatening when you know that others are working through similar circumstances. You help others by sharing, Maggie May. Times are very difficult and I'm sorry to hear that you're one of those affected. I hope things improve soon, but taking a break for a bit certainly can't hurt. It gives everyone time to breathe.Jamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07551543776509110496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-3235937129390209992009-03-23T13:14:00.000-07:002009-03-23T13:14:00.000-07:00You are beautiful and you are brave. There are pe...You are beautiful and you are brave. There are people out here praying for you.PalagiGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15960714746263603710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-41419791145748398042009-03-23T13:08:00.000-07:002009-03-23T13:08:00.000-07:00Sending positive thoughts your way, Maggie May. Mo...Sending positive thoughts your way, Maggie May. Money woes -- especially now -- often get in the way. Stay strong and you'll get past it.Collin Kelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03777180960376039699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-3283047019140066492009-03-23T11:46:00.000-07:002009-03-23T11:46:00.000-07:00Just take care of yourself darling.Just take care of yourself darling.Jenny Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12943823729806115657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-65285399940124817682009-03-23T11:22:00.000-07:002009-03-23T11:22:00.000-07:00I think retiring to two seperate corners is oftent...I think retiring to two seperate corners is oftentimes needed, and that you are a very smart one indeed. :-)<BR/><BR/>This makes me think of the raccoon trap... you know, how you can trap a racoon by putting something in a box with a small hole in the top, and then the raccoon reaches into the box and grabs onto whatever it is he's grabbing onto, and then he can't get his paw out of the box because it's too big when it's clenched. If the racoon would just "let go" he would be free. But somethings are harder to let go of than others (anger, pride, upset-ed-ness, opinions, emotions), and it's easy to be trapped because of them.Laceyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03074240282215306796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-53145461535492677942009-03-23T10:43:00.000-07:002009-03-23T10:43:00.000-07:00No matter how "normal" things appear kids sense a ...No matter how "normal" things appear kids sense a difference. Just don't be tricked into thinking that they don't. <BR/><BR/>One day at a time.Wendihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13452084222769338967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-68710373660474415972009-03-23T10:33:00.000-07:002009-03-23T10:33:00.000-07:00Marriage is just so complex and difficult. As much...Marriage is just so complex and difficult. As much as I love my own husband and feel devoted to him (and the marriage) there is a huge part of me that truly believes the whole thing is so outdated. I mean the institution of marriage itself. <BR/><BR/>Maggie May, you have a lot on your plate. Keep moving forward. Keep writing. Keep asking. Keep loving.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03313726816776097840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-49280990183334899212009-03-23T10:27:00.000-07:002009-03-23T10:27:00.000-07:00Maggie. Sometimes we HAVE to be selfish and take t...Maggie. <BR/>Sometimes we HAVE to be selfish and take time for our selves, we give out constantly, especialy if we have a hubby and kids, we always put them before our selves, thats just what we do and who we are....but in doing that some times we forget who we are. thats when trouble brews. frustration rears its butt ugly head and tempers fly. Take time. Love the others but also take time to love yourself.<BR/>I wish I could give you a huge hug and then take you out for a girly coffee time. <BR/>Love Mr Curry through it all and that alone will make all the difference.<BR/>Love and hugs from me<BR/>xxVashtihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13414526295669048539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-47804827691673812362009-03-23T10:06:00.000-07:002009-03-23T10:06:00.000-07:00(((Huge Hugs Maggie)))We have two elephants that l...(((Huge Hugs Maggie)))<BR/><BR/>We have two elephants that live in our front room. We talk about them, fight about them, ignore them completely and yet they still dwell here. They have the power to kill us (our marriage) and yet we live amongst them. I wish I had advice for you. I just have understanding. I'm just up the 5 if you ever need to run away for a few hours.Sandihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10175048741176008054noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-56799620334127918412009-03-23T10:05:00.000-07:002009-03-23T10:05:00.000-07:00Well, Maggie, you guys have a ton on your plate, s...Well, Maggie, you guys have a ton on your plate, so it's bound to happen. Stress takes its toll on all relationships, even very good ones. We've certainly been there more times than I care to remember over the past 15 years we've lived together. <BR/><BR/>My husband and I could not be more different in personality and how we choose to deal or not deal with issues, so it hasn't been easy.<BR/><BR/>I'm proactive, and he's not. He thinks everything will be fine just because he wants it to be, and I know it won't. I stress. He sleeps. <BR/><BR/>In the past, when money issues or his business issues or any kind of stress crept in, we'd clash hard over it. Neither one of us could say anything right. It was hell.<BR/><BR/>These days, we try to avoid the hot topic until it's not so hot anymore. Saves on the fights, and sometimes we come up with a good solution when we're calm. A lot of times, though, we basically have to agree to disagree ;( <BR/><BR/>Hang in there, girl.Lolahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07370267947354641941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972647577919000054.post-38587541264434218312009-03-23T09:45:00.000-07:002009-03-23T09:45:00.000-07:00I hate hearing about people whose finances are bat...I hate hearing about people whose finances are battered and torn because of health issues. I really really want this country to go to a European health system. When you're sick, how to pay for it should be the least of your worries.<BR/><BR/>I hope you and your husband come out of this difficult time stronger in the long run. I recommend an ebook on savethemarriage.com. Not the only answer, but one way to start looking at things differently, and hopefully in the process, making them better and more joyous.Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00653383372182667361noreply@blogger.com