Friday, May 22, 2015

People In Your Neighborhood

take a seat and read!

Adrian McDonald's photos of Jamaican childhood are pure magic.

I often find these kinds of 'love your body' things unconvincing. But not this one. I'm watching with Lola.

Loving this poem by Morgan Parker: ALL THEY WANT IS MY MONEY MY PUSSY MY BLOOD

Like many people around the globe I have a fascination with the excavated site at Pompeii. Therefore, I found this fascinating.

Karrie Higgens is one of the top three most gifted writers I've come across on the internet, someone who isn't well known but whose talent and craft is undeniable. Read on the 35th anniversary of my suicide attempt

If you think your gallbladder is going bad, please read this: It Ain't Your Gallbladder

Oh I got that brain orgasmy feeling reading this because 1. it's about one of my top five favorite novels ever, Lolita, and 2. the intelligence and skill of the writer weaving backstory. Fascinating, and deeply sad. The Real Lolita, by Sarah Weinman

I stumbled across this old interview with Elizabeth Gilbert in The Rumpus.

I found this Justin Bieber car karaoke with James Cordon super entertaining. The Rubix Cube thing- who knew? ( and don't say who cares, you snark )

Thursday, May 21, 2015

I Don't Know

I don't understand this time of my life, what am I doing. It may strike you as remarkable that this is the first time in my life since the birth of Dakota that I have felt this way. At 19, I found the purpose of my life- loving him. Being a mother. You may wonder how, with four children, two at home, how is this different?

I don't know. 

I am different. Me. Not the circumstances. Not the love, the devotion, the loyalty. And my life is bigger, richer and more interesting in many ways, than it was for all those years. So why don't I feel enriched?

I don't know.

So if I am to write a list of things I do not know, we will be here for pages, hundreds of thousands of characters of Times New Roman. The things I do know comprise a short, essential list. 

I want to go home. I want to sit in a field of berries with my mouth stained, a touch of sunburn across my brow, squinting unattractively, watching my kids do what they do. I want to hear the drip of water from the trees after it rains. I want the wind in the bushes, rattling around like an old lady who lost her glasses: Ms. Whatsit, for example. I want to step back into my place in the river of ancestoral time, to feel the gravitational pull of the earth- does space scare you? It scares me.Where am I?

I don't know.

I feel lost. I only feel grounded when I'm in the tangle of my children in bed at night, their legs on my legs, or in Mr. Curry's arms, or when he holds my hand. Alone, I tend to hold my arms around myself, like I did in high school. Like I might fly apart, but very, very quietly... no one would even notice. They would still see me as here because how many people actually SEE YOU when they look at you?

I don't know.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Put Words In My Mouth

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Everkins - Kenny - Kinny-Kins

she's four and she always brings to mind the words life force
i always wanted a child with freckles
i always wanted a little girl with long waves of hair
i always wanted a baby with an oversized head and great big brains
i always wanted a little girl with an actual twinkle in her eye
i always wanted a daughter with a smile made from stardust and puppies and magic
i always wanted a kid with three nicknames
i always wanted an unstoppable energy force that brings to mind fast forward video footage of flowers unfolding from bud
i didn't know i did, but now it's so obvious.
that's love.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Saturday, May 16, 2015

People In Your Neighborhood

Creative Compulsive Disorder & Remembering Zina Nicole Lahr from Stormy Pyeatte on Vimeo.

Isabella Rossellini on who cares about aging. I'm becoming compulsive with collecting the quotes and ideas of women who instead of being honest about how aging is hard for women are really focused on how it's not. On how much more there is. We need their voices and their attitudes.

I told you about a friend's friend whose little girl drowned recently. This little girl, Kitty, was born in 2010, same as Ever. This is a remembrance of her with a beautiful poem. It made me cry hard. I think the first comment afterward is a little genius.

I really enjoyed this essay by Angela Flournoy on the recovery of her father and Detroit.

I can't wait to see this anime movie: Wolf Children

This short story on a moment in time on 9-11 is like glass in your hand: immediate and unforgettably cutting. September, by Anna Kovatcheva 

How the use of antibiotics in infancy is tied to illness in adulthood. Another example of the many I link here of the absolute importance of our guts to our entire health.

The combination of music, film and writing the NYT is using is brilliant. I could not pull myself away from this story.

Art is life.

Is Wifi Making Your Child Ill? There's a lot of conflicting opinions going around the scientific community, but I want to stay aware and do what I can to protect myself and my family.

Saul Bellow is an important author to me. My dad had his paperbacks and as a kid I read through them, often bewildered and lost, but totally compelled.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

time + love = eternity

Dakota Wolf and myself 2015, Dakota Wolf and myself 1996

time moves mysteriously and not the way we wrestle it into presentation: a clock face, rigid upright arrows, pointing directly at a fixed spot, which will predictably and irrevocably change to the next, predetermined spot. time means to me that this little boy and that young man above move in and out of each other's bodies like ghosts. the little blonde capped boy flickers across Dakota's face as he looks at me and when i close my eyes and press to kiss his cheek the rough stubble moves me suddenly into a room where my boy is rubbing his round cheeks and saying one day, he'll be a big boy and have hair face, momma, and his high giggle echoes as i open my eyes and look at the young man, still smiling at me, still in my belly, still in my arms, still in my lap, still clutching Pokemon figurines and carrying his card case, still furious and running from the house with his cell in one hand and shoes in the other, still yelling in the living room, eyes ablaze and hands trembling, still falling into my arms crying, still laughing in his bedroom with the door shut, still leaving and coming home, still home, always home, always my boy.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Lola's Mother's Day Video

My Movie from Maggie May Ethridge on Vimeo.

Only the best gift I've ever gotten, outside of my kids artwork and music.

Today was overflowing with love. I woke to homemade banners and balloons, we all went out to coffee and bagels, Dakota surprised me and showed up from Long Beach and we all then, with my mom, went on a hike, and then to dinner, and when I got home, Ian had left me a card in a sneaky drop off at the house and Lola gave me this movie.

I'm allowed to be this happy, right?

Saturday, May 9, 2015

People In Your Neighborhood

take a seat ( with Milicent Rogers ) and read!

I would love every parent to have this information for their children: Why Gut Microbes Make Your Kids Picky Eaters

10 Brilliant Novels With One Fatal Flaw True Detective ( Season One ) was a TV show but is included in here for its novelistic brilliance- which I could not agree with more. This show haunts me months after I watched it, and despite its grim tone and horribly sad storyline I know I'll go back and watch it again. But---but! those last 15 minutes...

A Wrinkle In Time is one of the books of my life, so I love this WSJ piece on Madeleine L'Engle and a secret passage

This little girl was the daughter of the friend of a friend. Please don't turn your backs on kids in water. Please put life vests on kids in or near open water. She had taken swim lessons. It didn't stop this from happening. Unimaginable grief. I've been praying for this family out of lack of anything else to do.

I really like how Dani Shapiro- a well known, high selling author- reveals the bare bones of the writing life

This short essay articulates some of my deepest life values and guides: The Moral Bucket List

Sally Mann's iconic images have always captivated me on a subconscious and conscious level. I am remember a decade ago using them like online art, tacked to my MySpace page. I was born in Jackson Mississippi and returned to live for a year later in childhood. She writes for the NYTimes about the mixed legacy of her images.

A very interesting young woman: Mac McClelland, an investigative journalist who wrote a book about her PTSD after going toward the Haiti earthquake aftermath.

Melissa Hart writes about foster care and the importance of Annie, 91 years later.