2. Most serial killers will not take you if you pretend to be a crazy person and scream MY MOTHER WAS A PIG AND I ATE HER ON MY PLATE or something great like that.
3. The thing is, no one really wants to hear a three hour dissertation on World of Warcraft, even if they could reach Level 3 and have a totem spirit like, three times faster than usual.
4. I wish you had been a dwarf. I always wanted one of my kids to be a dwarf.
5. If you go on a date, clean your ears in case the girl sticks her tongue really far down in your ear and gets a load of earwax. Buzzkill.
6. Baby pee really doesn't taste like anything.
7. In order, shit, goddamnit, fucking nuts and crap. Although taught may be a strong word here.
8. Your dad likes breastmilk too!
|they are listening|