Monday, March 30, 2015

Unicorn Eyes, A Google Search

This is me in my true state. I don't normally show you this because it might blow your mind and make you afraid of my magic powers, but I think you've known me long enough now, and can handle it. Can you handle the truth? I am a unicorn. I have the vague idea that a unicorn has some wonderfully perverted meaning in reference to sex ( probably gay sex because they seem to have all the best and most cleverly shocking names for fun ) but refuse to google that in case one day my computer is taken into custody by the FBI or CIA ( I will surely turn up on their searches now that I've written out their names ) and they will be exposed to my search history. 

Possibly the most revealing and stripped down data on any human being today resides in their personal computer search history, no deletions allowed. If you looked at mine the most mortifying search terms you'd find in recent months would be something along the lines of buttcrack darkening and anal bleaching and I dare you to judge me without full context, or to ask for full context. Most people, in my unicorn powered opinion, have no desire to really understand most other people, beyond what is necessary for basic life functioning and fun and some sense of solidarity. More than that is to tax our 10% brain power we supposedly use, although I think we'd agree that many of us use quite less. 

Then there are those freaks like myself, and since I out him on everything else, my husband, who desire to know the most intricate and bizarre and unpleasant and awe inspiring aspects of anyone and everyone, unless we have to regularly order food or coffee from them, in which case, a name tag and a lie about how their morning is going will suffice. I do like to know from a safe distance, if the material is a little scary. This is why books and film and art are a fourth of what makes life wonderful for me, the others being love, nature and sex, although sex and nature are probably the same category.

I am tired, and ill. I can barely manage my responsibilities at the time, due to my body's struggles. I am in pain.

But I am happy.

I hope you too, and if not, I hope you feel connected in the web of human life.


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