Desire

I worry about the possibility of desexualization by nature. On a run the feel of my own breasts inside my shirt excites me. I do not desire to be without this ridiculous level of desire. Even my earliest memories include a hazy layer of sensuality as I encountered the ocean, fields of grass, canyon smells, the sky in every mood. I interpret life though a series of moral codes, historical knowledge, learned paths, and desire.

When I Decided To Divorce It Happened In One Sentence

Every day I am further from the place of hot truth and everything I believe most fervently to be essential for full life for personhood for self-esteem for sanity for emotional health for any possibility of joy or experience of joy I have allowed it to be crushed and replaced in the last three years and I'm not allowing myself to choose this anymore no matter that I must drag my heart and pussy and body through the grounds like a flailing child, no matter, I will do it because yes I love you I will always love you, but at night when I am alone (always) I am closer to dead than ever before.