Friday, July 18, 2008

Kathy Griffin, How I Love Thee



Kathy, oh Kathy, how I love thee. You lay me down in small towns of Mexico with los ninos, making la biblioteque, crushing on underage children. You bring me waters of tears, oh redheaded Oprah. You taketh me to pastures of hilarity with your curly locks and tilting winks, your eagled eye observations and fearless forays into the black heart of celebrity. You sootheth
my heartaches and hurt with your Billionaire Nerd and Team Griffin. Yahay, for the valley of the shadow of liquor breath go your mother Mary, she who disbelieves in the redheaded Oprah.


Oh Kathy Griffin, you get it.

You have the tears of the world behind your jokes, like all genius comedians do. Last night I watched your D-List show and you made it to the A-List of my heart. ( What? What? I'm just being honest here. OK, honest and disgusting. Honest and revolting? Like spit swappers in the movie theatre? What can I say? Sometimes love is corny. Like corn dogs. Corn nuts?
Corn candy or is that candy corn? Does that sound like a porn star name OR WHAT? And now, winner of 2008's BJ of the Year....Candy Corn!!! I digress. )

Kathy Griffin, you may tell Jesus to suck it, but I know he loves you anyway.

Last night my husband and I realized we were getting OLD:

Kids: asleep
Us: cuddling on chair
We were beginning to go the room when we realized-- but Kathy Griffin's on! And it's a new one we haven't seen!

We chose Kathy Griffin's D list reality show over sex. Is this the true disintegration of America?
Or is this Kathy Griffin's plan to take over the world?

I still love you, Kathy. You rock.
Carolina Maine said...

That is so funny!! My husband and I do that about Seinfeld-even ones we've seen tons of times. Old age-gets you every time. I haven't had much time for writing as my family seems to have many appointments leading up to the school year. I hope you get to try the Pantoum--it seems more fun than the Sestina. I thought about trying the Sestina again, but it just left a bad taste in my mouth. The Villanelle was fun, and I enjoyed it. I hope I can say the same for the Pantoum. Good luck with writing!!

Collin said...

I have found that Kathy Griffin is better than sex on several occasions. I'm going to see her in September. She's playing a big show at the Fox Theatre. Can't wait!

Carol Mac said...

I love her show! I wish I still had cable...boo hoo
Thanks for stopping by my blog last week. I've added you to my blogroll. It's nice to meet you!

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