Thursday, June 14, 2012

Toddler Propoganda

Have children today and you have immediate cultural relevance, because half of all advertising ( this is based on my obsessive consumption of all things pop-culture ) is geared toward parents. Specifically, making parents feel that they absolutely must buy THIS NOW if they are possibly going to have charming, successful*frolicking modern child that can function normally in society or I need this for adorable Facebook pictures. That's not what the ads actually say of course, but what K-FKD in our heads ( thank you Anne Lamott for naming that particular station ) is announcing. I'm the worst with this because I am a major sucker for packaging.Take a piece of shit and put a big pink bow on it and have it hum It's A Small World After All when you jiggle it, and I'm sold.

After Ever was born I tried desperately not to fall into rabid frothing consumption, and at first, I succeeded. I was on maternity leave and we were broke, and in the beginning Ever still had enough clothes and trinkets and doodads to satisfy a small orphanage thanks to my baby shower. Then I went back to work, and we weren't so broke, and Ever started growing out of her infant clothing and toys, and became a toddler, and I have a blog that could be leveraged for trades, and I know where Etsy lives, and Target was five minutes from my house- is that even fair play?- and so, I consumed. Mmmmm. Feels good, doesn't it? 

So let's look at what Ever has had from 12-17 months, and then at what she needed. 

What Ever Had From 12-17 Months

crib mobile
crib blankets
hair doodads
baby shoes
snot sucker
stuffed toys
hard toys
jingly toys
car seat
car seat toys
music player
wooly lamb music player large
wooly lamb music player small
baby wipe warmer
nursing cover
baby food blender
baby food glass jars
baby snack jars 
baby clippers
baby brush
baby shampoo
baby bath toys 
baby songs CD

What Ever Needed From 12-17 Months

boobs (mine) (not even included on first list)
snot sucker

Admittedly, a few of the above listed thises and thats made life a LOT easier these last months, mostly the car seat toys, baby CD and her teethers. And the rest of the things, well, they made ME very happy. Because I am totally a slave to the machine.

*What IS a 'success' at being a child? Lord.

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