feast photos

Bloated face. Swollen hands. Jiggly thighs. Joyful but exhausted. It's 39 weeks pregnant me, and the lovely Lola Moon.


Partial Pack- we didn't have Ian until 6pm that evening.


Uncle Jack and my mom. My mom made a huge and absolutely mouth watering Thanksgiving meals, one of those kinds which every dish is perfect. I ate TWO plates and THREE pieces of pie, between starting point and midnight. Burp.

Are You There, God? It's Me, Maggie

... I'd Like To Say, Thank You For My Pack

this is Lola Moon. she has toes shaped like sea shells. her neck smells like vanilla cupcakes. her armpits stink like little girls on the brink. she made a card for our baby doctor that said ' you made one life new. you made one hart beat. thank you for taking care of my sister. last year my mommy had a miskarrage and so you can see this is relly importent to me. ' every evening as her bath water pours, she sits in the tub and sings until the bath is full.

these are my boys. Dakota Wolf loves underground rap and has delightful appreciation for a slew of words strung together in a clever way. he debates philosophical ideas with his friends. he makes me laugh, often, and often at myself. he loves his dog like a fairy tale, and his dog would die for him. said dog is a fat golden retriever who lugs his aching hips onto Dakota's bed and sprawls out on top of Dakota's 6 foot frame to settle in for sleep. Dakota treats girls with respect and expresses to me compassion for how hard it is to be a teenage girl. his hair is in soft blonde waves and his eyes are huge and blue and filled with intelligence and heart and depth. Ian Oliver is highly unusually disciplined for a person of any age, much less 14. his brain is like a finely tuned computer that he knows how to program. since he was a little baby I have cared for his bobble head, glasses wearing self. his eyes twinkle. he always looks for an opportunity to be mischevious, but doesn't shy away from hard work. he has both brains and brawn. he's a team player at heart in family life, even when his biological age resists. he is loyal to the bone. Dakota and Ian are a team.

Mr. Curry. it's too much to express in writing at this moment. he is the centre that holds.
Ever. we will meet her and learn her soon. sniff her neck, lick her belly, scruff her gently underneath her chin, stare into her eyes, adding her to the pack. she will be circled round and we will love her with all our hearts for all our lives.

Thank You, life.

One Day On Earth: Vimeo (including my interview about falling in love with Mr. Curry)

Pixley One Day (Morning) from Taymar Pixley on Vimeo.

When Taymar came down for the baby shower, she was filming her video for One Day On Earth. Taymar has been on my blog before, the story of our friendship here. She's an amazing woman, talented, gypsy like, independent, alternative, creative, loving and truly a free spirit, in a time of so few. The video includes 2 short interviews with my Dakota and Lola, both of which I'm so proud of I could just pop. ( hee hee ) It's fascinating to me to see the difference in Dakota from the time this was taken and the short distance to now. The program he is in is fantastic. And in the middle somewhere, is an interview with me about how I fell in love with Mr. Curry, and what I think love is. Also included is T's boyfriend, Max, her son ( Lola's bestie ) Caspian, and one of Dakota's closest friends - since 5th grade- Evan Poe- and in the end, although he avoided an actual interview, you can catch a glimpse of Ian Oliver. My family!

The room that the piece opens in is our master bedroom, when the furniture had been all pulled out and it was being used as a storage dump: before carpet cleaning, wall painting and new bed. You can see our whole house in massive move-everything-around-and paint-there-is-a-baby-coming! transition, so sigh... kind of embarrassing!

Love, Maggie May

Expecting Ever: the Days Before, and 38 Week Pregnant Pictures

Friday Night: 6pm All kiddos, Mr. Curry and I head to theatre for Harry Potter and the Deathy Hallows: Part One. We are HUGE Harry Potter Fans. We never go as an entire family to the movies because of the cost- except! for when a new HP comes out. It's like Christmas, we talk about it all year. Matter of fact, one of the first things Mr. Curry and I talked about after getting Ever's due date was the chances of her due date conflicting with this opening! We eat at home, head to the theatre, and stand in line with all the other fanatics for hours, ensuring we get great seats. We each get to pick a treat ( I got 2- An icee and pretzel with cheese, yummmm ) and settle in for the epic. Aunt Kristy met us in line and had made pumpkin treats for the kids. I did really well with all the standing and sitting. I was supposed to go hang out at Barnes and Noble with Lola while Mr. Curry and the boys kept our place, but we opted to just hang. I am feeling very internalized right now, very quiet, but I still had fun. I had the great and joyful and whole feeling I get that is very specific to my entire family being together.
Friday Night: 11:30pm We get home from the movie, and as Lola and the boys are crawling into bed, I listen to a message on our machine from an OBGYN I've never met who reviewed my non-stress test from Friday afternoon. ' Come in for more monitoring immediately, ' she instructed. ' You had points of no signal on your test. ' Sigh. I knew why this was, and if this doctor had anything to actually do with me or my baby she would know also that this wasn't a concern- it was because Evercakes had gone absolutely shanky during the monitoring, and was visibly CRYING on the ultrasound, turning her head side to side like infants do, with her tiny little furious fists clenched at the sides of her head, kicking. The monitor would lose track of her heartbeat occasionally because she was so incredibly active. You could see the monitor actually jump and move because she was kicking so hard. But this doctor doesn't know that. So we left Dakota in charge of Lola, sleeping in bed with her, and locked up the house, and left. We called as soon as we got to the hospital and Lola was already asleep, Dakota and Ian on their way. As suspected, everything was perfectly fine. I had a small emotional crisis thinking that Mr. Curry was lusting after the monitor nurse because she was very thin with huge breasts and attractive. ' I think you are sick of my pregnant body, ' I told him. He said all the right things and Dakota, overhearing our conversation, told me that I had married a saint. Hmph.
Saturday Morning: 6am Mr. Curry wakes to work.
Saturday Morning: 11pm I wake to find Lola watching TV and Ian gone to help Mr. C at work, Dakota getting dressed. I get dressed, and take Dakota and Lola to meet my mom at Rubios. She takes Dakota to a friends while Lola and I window shop the Christmas decor at Pier One..so gorgeous, so cheerful. It is pouring rain, literally pouring. I feel blissful. The rain, the Christmas decor, music, Lola holding my hand, and I'm waiting for my baby. We get small drinks at Coffee Bean and head to Home Depot. I buy a lovely blue paint for the master bedroom, the last step in getting ready for our baby. After Mr. Curry paints the room on Sunday with the help of his friend, ( after he goes to work, again- 7 day work week ) we will move in the brand new, queen sized mattress my awesome mom bought us as a gift!!!! The first new mattress either of us have ever owned in our adult life, it's absolute heaven. We took Lola and her best friend Kailin to pick it out and they had so much fun at Sleeptrain that they asked if they could have their birthday parties there. Who knew? Plus I used my magazine culled bargaining skills and got our Barack Obama look alike salesguy to reduce the already reduced price ( huge sales right now ) 5%. My mom was happy about that.
Saturday Late Afternoon: 4pm Lola and I arrive home. Her Netflixed ' Three Men and a Baby ' awaits. Ian leaves, Mr. Curry and I discuss the phone call I just had. My OBGYN Dr. G called and said we need to schedule a CSection. Evercakes is still breech and I'm due in a week. If I want my doctor to do the CSection, I have to take the dates she has open, which are the 24th, Thanksgiving Day, or December 2cd. We are leaning toward this Wednesday. It's overwhelming to decide this. Mr. Curry is worried that if I go into labor before December 2cd- which is more likely I will, as it's past my due date and both Lola and Dakota were before their due dates, and it's my 3rd birthing- that I might have her very quickly, and complications could arise. He wants to do this Wednesday. I feel very, very strange about accepting a CSection when there is a possibility, however small, that she could turn. On the other hand, I don't want a doctor I"ve never met before doing the CSection, and if I go into labor before Dec 2, that's what would happen.
Saturday Night: 5:30pm Mr. Curry and I will put Lola to bed early for a Saturday, so that we can have one last night 'alone'. We plan on serious intimacy. Barry White low toned alone. Yeah.

The rain is coming down, our house is ready for this baby- almost all ready, minus the master bedroom- with her things all put together. My mom bought me the amazingly awesome and so cute Graco FlipIt stroller for the baby shower, and it sits all adorable and put together waiting for her birth, with it's turquoise lining and polka dots. A final order using my gift cards is coming from Baby Earth, which is where I registered for my shower, and Ever's butterfly swing is coming, along with a nighttime nursing bra and nursing pads and a glass bottle. Her clothes and blankets are all washed and folded and put away in the beautiful white changing table/dresser I was given to by a work friend. Her crib is ready, just waiting for the crib sheet to arrive with the Baby Earth package. Most importantly, we are ready. All five of us are visibly excited now, expecting Ever.

artwork by Mr. EJ Curry aka baby daddy

Welcome SPONSOR: Flourish In Progress ( a blog adventure about not spending money for a year! )

When I stumbled across Elizabeth I was drawn into her blog Flourish In Progress because she is funny, witty, and was a mother at 19 like I was. After reading further, I realized that FIP is not only a blog, but a project in which Elizabeth has dedicated an entire year to no extraneous spending- at all! Obviously she has to spend money on food, her bills, things of essential nature like that, but she made a clear list of what was a no-no, and it's pretty much...everything else!

Like I first noticed, she was a single mom at 19, and after living a very strictly budgeted life, she married and became a serial spender: hence the inspiration to live on the down low for one full year. (...and the Holidays are here...gulp! )

Read the funny story of how she fought herself and almost divorced over an accordion folder file. Impulse buying is addictive and she's breaking the cycle!!! I follow Elizabeth's blog now and was thrilled to have her on a a sponsor- she's in the true Flux spirit, a strong, intelligent woman with a clever mind who is also often laugh out loud funny :)

PS

Elizabeth is also on Babble's list of mom blogs, so you can vote for her there, too. And remember to vote for Flux Capacitor! I'm on Page One, and moving slowly up the ranks, so please vote if you have not, I so appreciate it! :)

i can totally do this pregnancy thing as long as i have to.

..... fine!! it's a blatent lie i'm telling myself, but we all have to get through the day.

my take on Madonna's What It Feels Like To Be A Girl
redux: What It Feels Like To Be 38 Weeks

stomach like a water balloon filled by adolescent boys
(now that sounds plain wrong oh hells)

peeing every half hour it feels like someone is tweaking my bladder
with Pamela Anderson fingernails

i cannot sleep without something between my legs
( now that doesn't sound good )

i have the sex drive of a teenage girl
but can't reach the goods beneath the hood

my hips are ripped and my abs are shot
stretched to the point of oh hell no

my breasts inflate and make me hate
that i've 10 more days to go

because engorgement is not your friend
when it creeps in private places

and everyone looks at you like an animal in the zoo
and you want to pinch their faces

do you know? what it feels like, for a girl?
do you know? what it feels like in this world
when your body is huge and your skin is not smooth
and you'd rather be drooling in bed
take a chance and eat elephants
and get a glimpse into my head
do you know??

(i'm so sorry Madonna.)

band of horses

you will accept the beautiful gifts

-Even though someone else is dying. Even though somewhere, there is a small child hurting that you can't help, that you don't even know about. Even though in your very own family, someone is probably hurting at this very moment. Even though today, as you carried new life and rejoiced in your children, a family in your community was laying to eternal rest their 17 year old son, Tyler. Even though some day, maybe tomorrow, you might be facing the worse pain of your life: Because some day, maybe tomorrow, you might face the worse pain of your life- because of this, it is the height of egoism and waste to feel guilty for being blessed. To feel the tremble of the Universe's great jaws as you are embraced and carried along what would have been a long, lonely and hard walk: because you have walked there, and because you will again, and because you can only offer those you love what you can carry inside of you: you will accept your joy without shame, without guilt, without fear.

Or: you will feel the fear, and you will ignore it. You will give it a sideways glance of pity and perhaps a nod of recognition, and you will walk into your gifts with an open heart. You will accept the beautiful gifts, because you deserve beautiful things to happen even though you are not perfect, and even though you have caused pain to other people in your life, and even though you probably will again. You will embrace the joy around you because you wish your children to embrace the joy around them. You will accept love and care and abundance because these things will strengthen your blood when your blood runs thin, when Aslan is revealed as the King and your feet are in thin air and you realize it is your time to mourn: because then, only if you have this rich once-loved blood, will you be able to go where you are being carried without taking everyone you love with you.

You will be loved deeply because you wish to love deeply. You recognize that suffering is ongoing in this world, and accept that refusing your deepest, most profound joys to sink as far as they can into your heart is not protecting anyone, anywhere from their pain.

You cannot hoard your happiness in a cellar, untouched, so as to offer it to those who are in despair. It doesn't work like that.

How it works is so simple and deconstructed that you feel you have missed the point- but you haven't: you take what you are given, you are grateful for it, you embrace it, and then when someone is in front of you that you can help or heal in any small or large way, you do so. That is your moral obligation, your spiritual foundation, and the reason to exist with other human beings. If you do not take what you are offered by the Universe, you will not be able to give when the hungry and despairing heart is lain into your hand like the sparrow God keeps his eye on. If you want to love more, do not refuse to be loved.

It is this: You cannot stop loss by refusing love. You can only make loss mean something by ever having been loved and by loving.

This is the meaning behind the horror: we give meaning with our lives. We create meaning with our action. Create the world you want your children to believe in. Face love and accept it. You cannot change the end of the story. You can change the story, though.

Get to it.

Welcome: Ever's Virtual Baby Shower!!!

I am the luckiest blogging 38 weeks pregnant girl...ever... because some of my bloggy friends have gotten together and decided to throw an online baby shower for Mr. Curry, myself and our baby-to-be, Ever Elizabeth!!!

I am thrilled !!! One way of participating is to leave a message for my family and I on my comment section, with whatever you'd like to say :) I will save those in print outs and put them in Ever's baby book!! How awesome, such a modern baby :)

We did have a real life baby shower, and were blessed with wonderful and useful and cute things, but like so many families we are struggling to make it paycheck to paycheck, and my disability leave is difficult, to say the least. The girls have set up a Donate button for my maternity fund, that goes straight to my Paypal account, as well as links to my registry at Babies R Us for the leftover things we don't have yet. I put the Paypal button on the top left of Flux Capacitor :)

This generous and thoughtful gathering of ladies below are hosting the shower, so go visit if you'd like to participate!!:

ONE Elizabeth---- The Moon Worn as if it had been a Shell , actual URL: http://elizabethaquino.blogspot.com/

TWO Terresa----- The Chocolate Chip Waffle, actual URL: http://thechocolatechipwaffle.blogspot.com/

THREE Ms Moon---- Bless Our Hearts actual URL: http://www.blessourhearts.net/

FOUR Mindy---- Petit Fleur's Adventures actual URL: http://petitfleursadventures.blogspot.com/

FIVE Stephanie----Unsweet Mama, actual URL: http://www.unsweetmama.blogspot.com/

I also registered at BabiesRUs for the remaining items we need:

• BABIESRUS-- The account can be accessed by name: Maggie Ethridge or Registry #: 46171571

I cannot wait to read the messages from my online friends, and thank you SO MUCH to you ladies for thinking of this, Melinda for organizing it, and you all for participating. This is something so fun and so sweet and so happy for me to think about and enjoy right now, and it means so much to me. I love you guys!!!