to all ye who visit here

everyone who comes here to read is welcome. everyone except my father. and he probably reads, anyhow. now in the past months i have been made aware that people all around me are reading: my friends, my workmates, my mom has stopped by, my son's friend who texted him to say first, that my writing was amazing, and then later, did he know that I had written about having sex with Mr. Curry on the bathroom floor?
so this is the thing I have to say to move far away from it because it makes my heart sticks to my ribs like an overcooked chicken: this blog is R rated, my writing is R rated and sometimes pornographic and sometimes gross and sometimes full of grief or tears or raucous laughter and sometimes saturated with love and sometimes small and still and sometimes all things or nothing or a dream i remembered from last year in spring. my writing is Philip Roth marrying Sylvia Plath and adopting Anne Lamott. it is adult life, told hnt religious experience, my companion through life. writing is also the way i'm going to take my family and lift them up and out of this life we live that is a constant, constant struggle to get by and make it, because we don't make enough money to make it.onestly, and that- regardless of the type of adult life, even monks do things that are strange and unsettling ( or especially monks )- is what makes me me, and if you don't like it, if it offends you or unsettles you or you think it's ridiculous or if you are my son's friends and think it's oh my god like, whatever, then please don't tell me about it. for the love of god. i can't write with real life, real time feedback. i don't want it. i don't like it. so don't read if you don't like it, or read it and keep it to yourself. please.
it's such a small thing i'm asking you, and it means EVERYTHING to me. writing is my therapy, my yoga, my transcende
. my writing is, and even as a kid was, authentic, I am so proud to say, when I feel so insecure and failing at everything right now- my writing is what I know what I have an intrinsic, instinctive love and gift for, it has gotten me through times in my life where I felt real despair, it has literally helped me to reshape the person I am into someone more like who I want to be. i need it.
thank you.