Thursday, August 6, 2009

the secrets of the adult world


After I put up my homage to the spiritual connection of sex and the naked picture of June Newton, Helmut Newton's wife, I lost 2 followers. I thought about that for a minute. I would guess that there are a handful of bloggers that I follow who do not follow me and who would most decidedly unfollow me if they saw some of the posts here.
I blog as a virtual scrapbook of my life and of life around me that fascinates, moves, interests or concerns me. I write what I find interesting to read. This is how I've always been. I follow NieNie, for instance, and adore her, but doubt that she would adore this blog, naked pictures of June Newton, or poems called marriage where the author talks about her husband daydreaming of fucking other women. I would absolutely call myself a contradiction in terms, and I'm quite happy with that. It's the fluidity of who we are that inspires much of my writing and certainly my novels. It is the truth of life as I experience it that I attempt to convey.
This blog is rated R. It is not for children, it is not for the very young or very innocent or those who would like to only think and feel young and innocent. I crave the secrets of the adult world, and I seek to find them in arts and fashion and literature and storytelling and nature. I write what I would like to read, I post pictures of what I would like to see. I adore Woody Allen, Henry Miller, Anais Nin AND L.M. Montgomery. As I said in a below post, ' i will not be caged by my own (blog) '
Sometimes I get so tired of the surface of things. I feel a literal physical weariness when this happens; as a child I would read when this restless disconnect came over me, and as an adult I have my husband thank God, who can discuss the raw materials of life as well as the spiritual matters in the course of a half hour, moving easily from one experience to the next as we live it. Occasionally I am flitting through blogs and I get that feeling, that MORE feeling. I want to feel more deeply into people's lives, their hearts and minds, I want to know more than the color of paint they have been looking at for a week and the celebrity they hate and etc etc...there is something absolutely precious to me about the details of life, the curve of a woman's hanging breast as she reaches outward, the sluice of blood from the female sex as our bodies cycle, the arguing, the fighting, the laughing, the crying, the peaceful stillness, the boredom, the embarrassment, the pleasure, the confusion the love of being human.
And sometimes, when I cannot find when I am looking for, I make it myself.
If any of this comes as a surprise to you, unfollow me with no hard feelings.
Just don't lock the door behind you.
Spiral Dancer said...

I spent a long time on the phone lat Saturday to a friend of mine in New Zealand who reads and loves your blog, she is not a commenter or a blogger herself, but she and I talk about writing and the juicier issues of life whenever we get a chance to, and she told me about you, so I am now following! I have felt ridiculous about blogging lately, I have an entirely different one to yours and for different reasons..but I have felt exactly like you have. Maybe longing for the deeper connections with others that I get flashes of through reading a novel entering the world of an imaginary other or just watching the interaction of the day to day. I stay here to follow, not to write as I have grown tired of it for now. I loved this post and it was just so much how I was feeling as I looked at other blogs this morning and about life in general. Thank you.

Harlow said...

You and your blog are wonderful, I hope it never changes :)

Lydia said...

As I said in a below post, ' i will not be caged by my own (blog) '

How I do understand this, Maggie. I recently wrote a post in which I mentioned having had a "friends with benefits" relationship with an old friend and I've caught hell from my husband for it. I told him "I won't edit my blog for you, or there's no reason writing it." The thing is, even the "friends with benefits" comment that drove him so crazy was edited. As I wrote the post I kept thinking of how it would play in hubby-land. I hate that. And the argument it caused is not one of the arguments you speak of as being a part of life's richness. Or, maybe it is!

Katy said...

As you know (because you were the first person to comment on my blog) I haven't been doing this long. I find myself with blogs, a lot like I am in life - I have many different interests, aims, desires, looks, etc. I follow blogs that cover craft, motherhood, happiness, writing, feminism, etc,etc. I love your blog because you write how you feel - sometimes you write how I feel. I believe that Isabella Blow was and is inspiring and confusing, I loved the picture of June Newton because it was strong and beautiful I love that you write about loving your kids, wanting your husband and losing a baby - because I love my kid, want my man and never talk about the baby I lost. You help. (also if this is just rambling you can just hit delete!)

Ms. Moon said...

I think you are talking about the secrets of the world. Yes! If I worship anything, it is the dust in the heart, the juice in the soul, the dirt on the feet, the tears from the eyes, the hands and bodies reaching out to meet.
And June Helmet's breasts were definitely worth worshipping.
Bless you, girl.

adrienne said...

oh yes, maggie.

i was just speaking with a friend about how i wish for swamp in the blogs i read.

moist, stinky, verdant, primary, fecund, verdant, live. life.

of course we are each moved differently; sometimes i want the easy details...i am deeply moved by the color of paint on a wall, and i can contemplate for DAYS about what one's color choice says about them, how one feels when they walk into that room.

but i am more moved by our strivings and contradictions; what makes us howl with laughter or sorrow or at the moon.

i adore your blog (you?) for your swamp factor.

namaste.

Courtney said...

I find the rawness (possible not a word) of your blog refreshing.

Thank you

erin said...

I don't get how boobs are offensive. Or nakedness. I certainly wouldn't show my daughters naked women in compromising positions, or in sexual acts etc...etc... but I think that girls should know that their bodies are not something that they should be ashamed of, and that women come in a million different shapes and sizes...all beautiful.

I have Olivia DeBerardinis books in our home and I do not hide them from my children, and I also tell them about the positive nature of breasts, being that they are to feed children (among other things I DON'T tell them about, let them figure that one out on their own ;).

hayley said...

maggie, you're inspiring me to write about sex with my husband!! keep going...

Johanna said...

I'm thankful for the content of your blog. I come here for the feelings. Keep on!

The Audacity of Anna said...

Judy Garland once said to always be a first rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of someone else...

Laura said...

I love your blog... absolutely love it. Its refreshing to really read about another person and really get a glimpse into another's thoughts and feelings other then just what is on the surface. I am grateful for your blog and everything about it.

Just.Kate said...

You wrote this exactly- true, right, beautiful.

Cat said...

I love nipples, so I just don't get it. Perhaps a coincidence? In any case, the poem was hot.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Maggie,
What's wrong with the naked human form? It's natural and lovely, and Puritans really piss me off. Keep blogging, sister. The people who matter will keep reading.

Love,

SB.

saracita said...

Still here, and loving it. :)

Badass Geek said...

I like your openness and your honesty with your writing. I find it very refreshing.

krista said...

her breasts were intimidatingly beautiful. that's probably why they unfollowed you. unfollowed. what a word. doesn't even make sense, really. oh, and fyi, i never usually comment on people's poetry. i write a lot of poetry myself and i find it so so difficult to have anything to say in response to someone's outpouring of words in poetic form. i don't know why that is. maybe it's because i discarded the english major in me long ago...the one who was told how to critique writing that was raw and emotional and pure and that there was really only one right way to do so. yes, i did not do so well in my literary theory class. had a bit of a mental battle with the professor regarding the nature of critique and how it applied to expressions in literature.
um, i think i had a point when i started this...

Dana's Brain said...

It is an interesting thing - the voyeurism of blogging. There are people out there who know more about me from my blog, then someone I may have known for years. And I don't go nearly as deep as you.
Sometimes I think of starting something completely anonymous where I can write about everything I don't want my family to read: fighting with my husband, sex, feeling inadequate, etc. Maybe someday.

magnoliaamber said...

Hi Maggie,

I agree with your statement, "won't let myself caged my my own blog."
Indeed, I don't consider myself as an adult and my culture belongs to group of followers who have just un-followed you.
I was embarrassed to see your previous June Newton...perhaps it is due to her revealing pose and her unhesitating to express her contentment. However, I did not think it was a porn because the picture was so classy and artistic... I guess we should just be more open-minded...
Art would be porn if you think it as a porn, right?

I simply chose not to drop a comment because honestly I feel uncomfortable...it was like I had to read Dogeater novel during my literature class.


Keep writing!
xoxo

bibliomom said...

I love reading about sex. Mostly because I'm not having any but also because I love it. Plus your blog is wonderful and I hope that you don't change a thing.

Elizabeth said...

I always look forward to reading your posts -- they're provocative, sexy, sad, open and often incredibly beautiful. I thank you for them.

I agree with you about wanting to connect more intensely and I think of my own blog that is perhaps a bit of a "cage" for me. I think that I might begin another one, more anonymous. See what happens.

the watercats said...

Human beings are such wonderful things... dirty, prude, naive, wise, we're all completely fecked in one way or another.. I love the fact that you write things that most people are too afraid to say, I hugely appreciate and respect that.. you also manage to say these things so eloquently, they no longer become so ragged and , well, animal! To me, you are someone who manages to translate the raw human instinctual drive for the likes of me (those afraid to talk hard and dirty) and make it what it is......... ravishing, natural love, pain, joy, sadness... ad infinitum...

Lacey said...

If I could follow you twice, I would. :-)

copiaverborum said...

This is the very reason I follow your blog. You are raw and I appreciate it so much.

Continue. Please.

~carpeviam

Valentine said...

And no one should ever feel caged by their own blog. Its an extension of yourself, right? Everyone's free to express their opinions.. regardless of how people react to it. :-)

Im sure you wont change so.. Im simply looking forward to more posts from you.

xx

V

Starlene said...

The reason you're one of my favorites is because you turn your nose up at repressive writing and embrace wholeness instead. Sometimes it's messy but it's real, and real is messy.

I'm still here. : )

Miss Grace said...

I've never thought of this blog as r-rated.

Shannon said...

what lacey said. :)

All This Trouble... said...

defreinded...unfollowed...good riddance, I say.

That photograph is fantastic. So fantastic that I told you what my husband without a moment's hesitation. Maybe it wasn't the photo. Or the poem. Maybe I offended them with the word 'tits'...

Tell the truth and shame the devil and all that jazz.You keep writing your words and we'll keep reading them.

Shaylen Maxwell said...

I have to say, I LOVE that about your blog. You say whatever you want to say. And I get inspired by things like that too; things I know will offend. Some of it is tame, others not. It's my mind and it's how it spills out on the page. Keep letting it fall out as it does, and don't worry about your followers running. For every lost follower, will be another two who love your blogging! : )

PurestGreen said...

I love your blog because of the intimacy, which is missing from most blogs that I read and something I am always searching for. At times when I write posts that are more intimate and personal, I get fewer comments. It's like I can feel the people backing away, feeling shy and uncomfortable.

As long as you don't change your blog or style. I would miss you.

Bee said...

I can't imagine being offended by anything you write about, Maggie May. I never feel that you write in order to shock or to titillate . . . but always to explore and share.

Reinvent Dad said...

I love the truth, the intimacy and the deep feeling that I get when I read your blog...different from any other that I've found and it's your blog. So don't change it (unless you want to, of course).

Bird Bath said...

You share so generously Maggie, which is why I love to read your musings.
I may be a little more reserved but that's me.
It wouldn't be fun if everyone was just the same, would it now :)

Mwa said...

All that is precisely why I follow your blog. All those reasons. Precisely.

Glimmer said...

Three cheers to you for writing your truth and sharing it. Your blog is not the usual, you know that, and that fact is exactly why we are here. Except for the two who left. And who knows, maybe they were not offended, maybe their objection was something more pedestrian. Like not caring for poetry. Or deciding they don't want to read anything heavier than posts that stress over what flavor of Starbucks to order on a given day.

I know exactly what you mean, though, in today's post. In fact have been thinking of starting another blog, a secret one for the things I intended to write about when I started the one I have now. I skirt around the edges, I hint, I withhold. I will keep the current blog, but I want to do what I set out to accomplish. Which is to dive down deep with the words to places it can hurt to even think about.

Maggie May said...

Thank you for the support, and it's really interesting to hear what people are thinking about blogging- not the business of it, which I hear a lot about on blogs- but the contents of blogs. I so value connections, of any length or kind as long as they aren't destructive. It's so awesome to get to read what you guys really think, feel- like a secret club.
I wasn't putting down blogs that are about decor etc- I follow some, and love them. I was just responding to the loss of followers...just 'thinking aloud'.

Sandi said...

Oh miss Maggie. I love your blog. I love you! The deep, dark, sexy, fearful, confidant YOU! Keep on sharing. I love the way you think!

molly said...

funny, i just finished writing a post about someone who 'follows' my blog and how surprised i was when i saw what her blog was about...i didn't think she'd be interested in mine. or, nie nie, how she thinks democrats or crazy (so, she once or twice posted) and i'm a die hard dem. but i love her blog and feel a spirtual uplift whenever i read it. i don't actually 'follow' anyones blog, i have too many thoughts in my own crazy-ass mind to follow any but my own thoughts on a daily basis.
but i sure do enjoy your unabashed, wide-open life writings, miss maggie may. thanks for finding me in the first place, so i could find you.

Simply Mel said...

I follow your blog for the exact reasons you post...the openness, the honesty, the thoughts we all have but rarely speak openly about. Your words are captivating, raw, honest, and real. If only I could/would express my thoughts and feelings into words the way you do...I might lose a few followers too, but who cares?!?! This isn't a popularity contest is it? If so, I thought I graduated from high school years ago.

Thank you for your poetic soul, it truly moves me.

bluntdelivery said...

oh girl, you keep doing your thing. By the way, LOVE that bathtub pic to the left!

www.bluntdelivery.com

katiecrackernuts said...

Ebb and flow, babe. Ebb and flow. Two down, two up. Who's counting anyway? Worth isn't about your followers (Disciples as my partner calls them, cheeky shite).

Rachael said...

Everything you write is not to my taste, but I love your blog and I always appreciate your honesty and the rawness of your feelings and how you express them. That's one of the things I love about friendships through blogging: we can connect with so many others who are unlike, yet so alike ourselves!

Shaista said...

It's been wonderful reading everyone's comments about you, how much you mean to them, and how much you are needed and admired and respected and able to inspire. I agree with Lacey too - I'd follow you twice :)
The best part about you for the fellow blogger is how innately kind you are, how encouraging.
Mum reads my comments (it is a great thrill for her), and after reading your last comment she said she wanted to throw her arms around you! Your kindness to me touches her incredibly. Touches me too xxx

ConverseMomma said...

Fuck it, them. Seriously. I once wrote a pretty innocent post about wanting to lick my husband clean. I lost five followers that week. It made me so damn happy. If you are offending people, it means the writing is powerfully good.

Jeanne said...

I lost a follower after I posted my dirty musical and figure we're probably both happier that way....

Don't change a thing!

Dingo said...

Maggie, I follow your blog because I love the fact that I read about people, places, and ideas that I would never have been exposed to otherwise. I also love the openness of your writing. It's honest without the reality TV-esque feeling of other blogs. You seek approval from no one yet welcome everyone. No matter how busy my day, your blog is one of the very few I read as soon as I find you've posted something new.

Heidi said...

maggie, you have continually given me more to think about since discovering your blog. your blog is an inspiration and your honesty moves me. i love the fact that one's own blog is just that - one's own. thank you for continuing to speak the truth. Hx

HeureuseLesFleur said...

I just love your blog! I am not even sure how I found it, but I am not leaving!

I am so jealous of all your followers though, I have like just a few and they don't leave comments, EVER. But that is my poor pitiful life, not yours. haha!

It must feel really incredible to have so much response to your writings, even if a couple leave.

You stir the empty pot of conservative brains of very judgmental people who see tits, and OMG, how DIRTY! I must leave, Maggie the devil!
I love it! (how about more!?)

SJ said...

I l.o.v.e your R rated blog, and frankly, find it refreshing to read. I need to hear the real and the raw, and the cookie-cutter stuff just isn't for me.

jb said...

Maggie....you are a breath of pure freah air to me. I hope that you post all the photos you love, share all the literature that moves you and anything else that life has to offer.

"To live a half life and not a full life is no way to live life" this is something that i said to a good friend today. Maggie May you inspire me and never stop writing because i never will no matter if anyone unfollows me. Is that even a word lolol.

Good night and sweet dreams love

JBxoxox

stoogepie said...

I just found your blog, but I found it amazing and candid and eye-opening with writing that is simply beautiful. You should try your best to make it far more sordid than it is, only because it feels like such an indulgence that it should be a guilty pleasure.

Barrie said...

And it is for posts like these that I follow you.

la fille vanille said...

Stay true to who you are. I think that is what is important. I am so glad that I discovered your blog, (because you left a sweet comment on mine:-) and have added you to my blogroll... Hey you loose some, you wine some - right?:-)

starrlife said...

I love and respect the honesty and fluidity of your blog, and I dig the "secret club" aspect too, and you are very kind and generous. It's so cool to spread it around like jam, like a wonderfully healing virus. You do it girl! Some people are invested in maintaining the status quo some people are for transformation- that's just the dialectic of the world and what makes the world go round! I'm just surprised that you come to my not nearly as expose one!

Lola said...

Well, I follow you and your fantastic blog for posts just like that one! Her breasts are to die for, and they should be posted for all to see.

I can't imagine why anyone would have a problem with that post, but you can't please everyone. Why bother trying? I'm sure I've been unfollowed many times for things I've written. I couldn't care less.

michellewoo said...

Yours is probably the most 'adult' and definitely the raciest blog I read, but it's also the most honest. I feel like my eyes are opened every time I finish a post.

Robin said...

your blog is your blog. and depending on its purpose, you shouldn't write to impress people. i understand some people use it to further their career and wish to impress potential clients or employers, and that is different. but if you're not writing from your own heart, if you're just writing to say what you think people want to hear or what would impress people, then you're a phony. it's your blog, say what you want to say... but you probably should mark the adult content option on your settings so people are fair warned as blogger intends in such cases, then it's the reader's own fault if they're offended :O)

Life with Kaishon said...

Wow. You write so well. I love your style. I have to go find out what would make someone un follow you. : )

anymommy said...

never and my door is always open, though i often long for your freedom and eloquence.

Petit fleur said...

You may have lost 2, but you've gained at least 1, me! whoo hoo~ i've been meaning to add you for a while, and I quit procrastinating after that last post. It is truly brilliant and inspired.

Stay true.

Blessings,
pf

Woman in a Window said...

Yes!
But
ha!
a but!
It is amazing to me the fallout around honesty. I wrote an honest poem a few weeks ago, published it two weeks ago, was threatened with lawyers one week ago. Withdrew it one hour later. Poetry and honesty - oh, they are dangerous things. I best beware...sorta...
erin

S.L. Corsua said...

I admire your writing for the way you go about presenting your ideas, the way you express yourself. Intelligible, witty, at the same time reaching out to not only make the reader think but also feel, react. Candor is definitely there (which is a big plus for me), and there's nothing crass about it. Also, the way you care about your family is such a positive energy-booster on the part of the outsider looking in, through your words.

All your efforts to share these things are appreciated. ;)

Lora said...

I lose followers all the time, only to gain a few later on. I feel like if people don't like me, I probably wouldn't like them back so good riddance.

And if that doesn't soothe my ego, I tell myself that they were spam accounts that got shut down by Blogger

Paula said...

This is a great post. I follow your blog because I want to hear these things. I recently told my husband that I wanted to take my blog in a "no holds barred" direction. I want to talk about the good, bad and ugly that I have experienced from the get go. I want to give it a new name. Take the name of my children off, or perhaps create another one. However, I think I will have to hide behind an alias. I am too afraid of the judgment or shock value that people will get when they realize I am much more than just a SAHM. You inspire me... Perhaps I will take the plunge some day.

Holly said...

i love you! nie nie would dislike me too ;) and i love her all the same!

contradictions are much more fun

yolanda said...

i do love your blog, maggie. don´t get upset.i love nature, nudity of body and soul
and YOU WRITE LIKE GOD!
(finally i sent the letter)
love love and applause!
love you, my dearling!
yolanda lola

dwhswebhosting said...

Wow deep stuff, keep it up

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