Thursday, July 19, 2012

The Summer of The Sisterhood

I love this picture; you can clearly see the different colored eyes, the left a pale blue, the right shot with hazel. Lola and I agreed that Ever is the happiest baby on earth and why shouldn't she be?  Everything that matters to babies, she has. She nurses to sleep in a blissful daze, curled up next to me in our comfortable soft bed, she is held and carried and romps and plays with children and is fed good, whole foods that give her energy and health, she freely explores the world but in a constant safety net, she is not spanked or screamed at or left alone to cry. She is picked up when she asks and cuddled all day. She is responded to with every communication and respected as a human being. Every baby deserves to begin life like this. I believe it would have a profound, mind boggling change in civilization were it so.      This summer is blissful. Although Mr. Curry has been sick, is just now getting better, the children have not suffered much, only missing him. The other 99% of their time is spent reading, playing, swimming, listening to music while eating, going to the bookstore, the park, napping...  The girls are so incredibly close. They have a way of being together just their own. Ever is different with Lola, she gets an excitement and joyful physical play that only comes out with her sister, a part of her heart that glows in response to Lola's face and voice and arms. Lola could not be a better big sister. I am gobsmacked with pride and love for Lola in how she has embraced her role. She tends to Ever like a little devoted Momma. I like to think part of this is because I haven't turned Lola into a Momma, she is not taking my place all day, she definitely does help with Ever, but I am cautious about the amount of time I expect her do to this, so no resentment breeds. And so far so good. They bathe together, Ever's fat butt on Lola's long lean legs, they swim together, Lola's eyes on Ever's. they hug and kiss all day, and when Lola holds Ever's hand to walk somewhere, she almost always says ' Mom I am SO HAPPY. I am the luckiest sister. ' And I say ' I'm not sure Ever would agree. I think she thinks she is the luckiest. ' Gift of the Magi kind of thing. The boys are around, and they romp with the girls, take them swimming, come on the occasional family outing, but this summer has been the summer of Ever and Lola's sisterhood. It sealed the deal, so to speak.

Ever has deepened the bond of our family, just as I hoped it would. There are a million ways to reinforce and strengthen a family, and having a baby was a special one for us. Because the older three are so much older than Ever, they all have an extremely doting way with her, they all feel responsible for her. This is such good character building. I know that is not a popular phrase these days, mocked even, but it is something I believe in and think about in parenting my children. I know that being and acting responsible for another life is character building and I can see the effect is has on my kids and their view of themselves in the family pack. They each feel a new since of importance.  I think the chance to nurture in this specific way- the silly, goo goo gaga devoted way that babies bring out- is especially good for boys, who don't have as many chances in society to learn this as girls do. And nurturing is learned- the rewards are not obvious or even always immediate. But once felt, they are profound.    Lola's Snow White like spirit is something I've talked about her on Flux since I began writing her. and she has transferred that innocent, pure, joyful love onto her sister. Singing to her, learning all the Barney songs, making up games that become Ever's favorite, reading to her, impatiently reminding me if she thinks I'm not meeting Ever's needs quickly enough. Oh Kinney, I hear her call all day. I love you!  Ever says Wola! Ever also has fallen in love with Lola's doll collection, especially her two American girl dolls. Lola plays dolls on. the. daily. She is still very serious about her doll play,  has beds for them, hair accessories, names and ages, birthdays they celebrate ( you should have seen my living room last week when it was Mattie's birthday ) and sleeps next to them. Ever has learned their names and asks for Abby the most, her favorite. Also Lola's favorite. Hmmmmm.     The other day Ever held a doll and patted it's back saying ' toe-day Baby ' ( It's OK baby ) and then handed me the doll asking me to 'tootsieaye' it, meaning nurse her. So I nursed the doll. After a few seconds, Ever climbed in my lap, took the doll by her hair and threw her on the floor and started nursing the same breast the doll had been 'nursing'. She kept one angry eye on that doll the whole time.

This summer is just glorious. We are packed and ready to go for whatever each day brings.

Cetta said...

Ever's eyes are amazing! What a lovely, positive post.

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