back in the blogger again

oh my oh my oh myyy. the last two weeks have been like a small, stilled version of the last two years, with one painful issue after the other rearing it's head. however, there were positives, the main one being my family, my husband and children, and the flawed, at times floundering, but deeply devoted and loving unit we are.

another positive was that i received word from Magma magazine that they accepted three of my poems. there is a slight chance they might print less than the three, according to the editor, but she said they were pushing for all three. i'll find out in the beginning of sept. for sure. regardless of the amount in the end, i am thrilled, and this is my first magazine publication that wasn't a very small job. Magma is an exciting place to be a part of so i'm glad i gave em what they wanted.

i also received three rejections, and two silent voids of article subs i can't get a response on.

my son is 14 and struggling. i hesitate to write more out of respect for him. he's an amazing kid, bright and beautiful with that lit soul thing going on- people are always telling me they hope their kids are like him. he is incredibly in tune with people and has a high emotional IQ, in addition to being incredibly smart. he also has emotional struggles and has been deeply hurt when his dad moved away 4 years ago. his dad had a drug problem and moved away to go to a rehab, got sober, and still visits every other weekend for a few hours, but that obviously is not anywhere near the same as a present parent, and it's been a huge struggle for my son since.
i am on mother alert, and my husband and i are supporting him in every way. i am transferring him to a private school with small ratios, for one. and i am signing him up for a course of biofeedback. if you don't know anything about this treatment, look it up= it's amazing, the studies are very positive and biofeedback is used to treat anxiety, ADD, ADHD, depression, addiction and pain.

i am using yoga and diet changes to help my anxiety, which is very strong right now. i am lik ea child when it comes to my diet. it makes me angry that i can't just eat healthy and feel good. my system is so sensitive that if i eat gluten or sugars or caffiene, i get various upsetting symptoms like body pain, IBS, brain fog, fatigue, itchy skin, etc. so the last five days i've been eating a fruit, veggie and protien with a healthy carb (like brown rice) at every meal, and it's incredibly helpful. disciplining myself to do the yoga is embarrassingly hard, even though it's only a 20 min. dvd and makes me feel very relaxed.

life pulses / around me / as if i were heart, / heart moving darkling blood / a swan song in my neck / a stapled mourning band / at the cheek of my glove / small kindness, / you move me to tears / i am shadows flung across gravestones / older than my years / three times i threw the wishing penny / the fountain head, the bulky eyes, / goose shapes my hands / rise and fingers fly / the captive audience, / the fleeing maid / part of the same / poem and play
M.M.E.


smootchie bootchies.