Friday, August 15, 2008

back in the blogger again

oh my oh my oh myyy. the last two weeks have been like a small, stilled version of the last two years, with one painful issue after the other rearing it's head. however, there were positives, the main one being my family, my husband and children, and the flawed, at times floundering, but deeply devoted and loving unit we are.

another positive was that i received word from Magma magazine that they accepted three of my poems. there is a slight chance they might print less than the three, according to the editor, but she said they were pushing for all three. i'll find out in the beginning of sept. for sure. regardless of the amount in the end, i am thrilled, and this is my first magazine publication that wasn't a very small job. Magma is an exciting place to be a part of so i'm glad i gave em what they wanted.

i also received three rejections, and two silent voids of article subs i can't get a response on.

my son is 14 and struggling. i hesitate to write more out of respect for him. he's an amazing kid, bright and beautiful with that lit soul thing going on- people are always telling me they hope their kids are like him. he is incredibly in tune with people and has a high emotional IQ, in addition to being incredibly smart. he also has emotional struggles and has been deeply hurt when his dad moved away 4 years ago. his dad had a drug problem and moved away to go to a rehab, got sober, and still visits every other weekend for a few hours, but that obviously is not anywhere near the same as a present parent, and it's been a huge struggle for my son since.
i am on mother alert, and my husband and i are supporting him in every way. i am transferring him to a private school with small ratios, for one. and i am signing him up for a course of biofeedback. if you don't know anything about this treatment, look it up= it's amazing, the studies are very positive and biofeedback is used to treat anxiety, ADD, ADHD, depression, addiction and pain.

i am using yoga and diet changes to help my anxiety, which is very strong right now. i am lik ea child when it comes to my diet. it makes me angry that i can't just eat healthy and feel good. my system is so sensitive that if i eat gluten or sugars or caffiene, i get various upsetting symptoms like body pain, IBS, brain fog, fatigue, itchy skin, etc. so the last five days i've been eating a fruit, veggie and protien with a healthy carb (like brown rice) at every meal, and it's incredibly helpful. disciplining myself to do the yoga is embarrassingly hard, even though it's only a 20 min. dvd and makes me feel very relaxed.

life pulses / around me / as if i were heart, / heart moving darkling blood / a swan song in my neck / a stapled mourning band / at the cheek of my glove / small kindness, / you move me to tears / i am shadows flung across gravestones / older than my years / three times i threw the wishing penny / the fountain head, the bulky eyes, / goose shapes my hands / rise and fingers fly / the captive audience, / the fleeing maid / part of the same / poem and play

smootchie bootchies.
Talia Reed said...

Congratulations on Magma.

Take care, dear.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your magazine publication!! I am so happy for you.
I thought you were gorgeous from your photos, but I didn't say so as I didn't have the opportunity to say it before.

Have you ever had your thyroid and thyroid antibody levels checked? Make sure to get the antibody levels done too if you ever have a thyroid panel. I have autoimmune thyroid disease, and I had similar symptoms--not to scare you.

I hope your son gets to feeling better. I know how it is to worry about your children.

Great entry today--enjoyed reading it.

Take care.

JKA said...

Congrats on the publication! I just stumbled across your blog, and I think you’re quite talented.

Unknown said...


you are fantastic!!!

really nice blog
fabulous fantastic

Maggie May said...

carolina- i am already dx with hypothyroidism. i also have endometriosis. i take pills for the thyroid, but just last week after a blood test found out that my thyroid was out of wack again and they have to reajust my pills.

diet is huge with this, and excercise. i most likely burnt out my thyroid through the extreme stress of my childhood. that kind of trauma leaves it's mark on your body.

Maggie May said...

everyone else, hi and thanks!

michellewoo said...

yes, congrats! sounds like a great publication.
i was never able to stick with yoga, even though i noticed an instant mood boost from each class. i hope you continue!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Maggie,
That is what happened to me. I had Grave's Disease for two years first. I'm glad you are having your medication adjusted--that will most likely help. I follow a similar diet. Right now, I am eating baked fish, steamed frozen veggies, eggs, and not much else I'm afraid. I'm trying to get it all balanced. I just re-read your post and remembered my old yoga dvd--thanks! I've been feeling tense lately.
Just an afterthought--I take Synthroid brand because I had been taking the generics which caused me to go hyper again. The doctor said generics have either less, equal, or more hormone in them up to a degree and that Synthroid was more stable. I was just changed to it two months ago and I have to get my blood drawn on Monday to check my levels again. Thyroid things are not much fun, huh?
Take Care.

Art and Poetry said...

Nice blog, I am looking for links, would you like a link?


Chandini Santosh said...

Dear Mag
Thyroid needs lifelong medication. Also hats off to you for that impeccable instinct for survival.
The link to your blog put up on mine do not seem to link me. Any suggestions? Please correct.

Ida said...

Congrats on Magma magazine, and good luck with everything!

Emily A. Benton said...

i hope you can find balance in the areas yoga can't reach :)

& congrats on the accepted poems!

L A M A R T I N É said...

your such a wonderful mother!! i'm glad your taking care of yourself so you can care for your son. hope his new school works out.

Collin Kelley said...

Congrats on the publication news!

Try not to stress over the other things. They will work themselves out. Just stay positive.

Shannon said...

just passing my love on maggie may. you are a brilliant soul.

Ivy said...

Hi Maggie, congratulations on the Magma acceptances! They're a great journal, with always wonderful work. Yay! :-)

Charmi said...


Charmi said...

BTW, have you checked out Goodreads?

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