Saturday, November 26, 2011

i thought about you all the way to Target ( so much better than thinking about my haircut )

and all the way back home

last night i cried and felt guilty about crying
because i don't have cancer ( that i know of ) and our kids are healthy and we are together
and so really, there isn't any excuse to be crying over hair.
i'm just so tired of people being shitty.
the lady who cut my hair? she was shitty. she talked ( read: lectured ) to me the entire time she cut my hair about how long hair really just doesn't work when you are a mom. she tried to get out of shampooing my hair. she got out of blowdrying it. and she cut, instead of the 2 inches I asked- and showed her with my fingers at her request- I'd say about 5 inches of my hair off. All the golden blonde at the end is gone. And then she charged me out the ass for what took her not 15 minutes to do. 
And I"m the idiot. I tipped her.

I kept thinking about her kids, and how she said she couldn't afford to visit them, and how she was probably angry at me for walking in beaming and happy with my baby and husband when she was divorced and alone during the holidays. I think she wanted to cut me down a size. So she cut me down about 5 inches.

it's just HAIR, Maggie. i know! but-but- my hair is the one thing I can depend on to make me feel pretty. i'm underslept and haggard looking, i don't have time for makeup right now, i don't have hardly any clothes that are cute and fit me, and my hair is the thing that I would use when I felt like a sloppy tired looking mess: Oh well! At least I love my hair! 

it's not a 'big' deal. it feels like one to me, because it's the one more thing.
i've had a few rough experiences lately with grumpy, unhappy people who don't know how to sit at the grown up table and talk politely when they disagree. i'm tired of raised, angry voices and sharp, dented faces.
sometimes the world feels so unfriendly and lonely.

thank God for you.


Maggie May said...

re: soundtrack:

mr. curry knows about my obsession with 80's music.

now you do too!

cheesy? perfect! i love cheese!


Ms. Moon said...

Child-Girlfriend- I have sat in that chair too many times to count. This is why it is better to pay the big bucks to some gay gay who gets it. Or to a woman who is happy.
Scissors are powerful.
Hair grows back.
And you would be beautiful bald.

Anonymous said...

Oh no. I don't mean to laugh, but I once tipped a hairdresser after she fried my hair, styled it into a tight pyramid and then tried to straighten what little was left of my bangs with a flat iron.
I now see a woman so skilled at hair that I say yes to every suggestion she makes. And long hair can be beautiful at any age!
Hang in there :)

Blue Gal said...

Oh! If I didn't have all the blogs I read and the voices in them then I would be very lonely indeed. It's really too bad that I can't live in the same city, on the same street, with everyone whose blog I rely on (one of those is yours).

I usually read your blog in google reader but today went to the page...and the music made me giggle.

Chloe said...

I started reading your blog several months ago. I've never commented, and probably won't again, but I'll be reading. I just wanted to let you know that I think you are beautiful. I don't mean that in a "beautiful for a mom" way. I'm 21 and surrounding by pretty college girls all the time and I think you are far prettier than most of them.

I'm sorry if this sounded creepy it just bums me out that you are oh so beautiful and think a hair cut could change that.

Petit fleur said...

I totally empathize maggie. I ALWAYS have bad luck with my hair cutters. They always want to do what they think is best instead of what I ask for. Sigh. I feel your pain.

On the other hand, you are gorgeous, magnificent even, no matter what length or style your hair. There is no covering up that kind of light. And yet, still I understand having identity tangled up in one's hair also. (I was not allowed to cut my hair till I was 18!) Don't ask.

Anyway, moving on to shitty people. I'm sorry about that. Shitty people suck. Or as they used to say back in the 90s "MEAN people SUCK!"

Love you maggie. Try to have fun with your new doo.

Allison the Meep said...

No way, man. Do not feel a moment's guilt for being sad about your hair. Yes, it is just hair and hair grows back. And no, you don't have cancer or your legs blown off in 'Nam or anything like that.

But still. It's a load of crap getting a bad haircut, and having someone talk down to you the entire time. A load of crap. That's where you go to get a boost and make yourself feel prettier, and it sucks to leave feeling gross and like a sucker for tipping. I always tip even when the service is bad, because I am a sucker.

And like two hours later, I have the most awesome comebacks and zingers for people like that. But in the moment, I'm silent and dumb, and I tip generously.

I hope your hair grows back crazy fast, but you are gorgeous no matter how long your hair is. xoxo.

anymommy said...

Ugh! I'm sorry. I know how people like this can rent space in your head and bring you down. What I adore about you? That you took a breath and thought about HER feelings and problems. Your soul is solid gold. Hair grows back (as crushing as a bad cut can be), but that inside goodness is priceless.

Elizabeth said...

Now, I know you still look beautiful and your hair certainly looks fabulous in the photo you included, but I so get your desperate feeling about it. There's something about hair -- and depending on it -- and wanting something to be just perfectly right. Anyway, I get it. No need to feel guilty because sometimes it IS the little things that break one. You're an awesome mama with FOUR kids and a lot more on your plate. It's only RIGHT that you should have gotten the most perfect haircut. Hang in there and let it grow.

Evalinn said...

Picking the right hairdresser (the one that makes you feel good when you´re there AND every time you see or feel your hair afterwards) is so important! I wish you better luck picking a hairdresser next time! :-)

Kate Moore said...

You are so much brighter, more beautiful, bigger, brassier, ballsier than your hair. She got nuffin' and you If cutting 5 inches off your hair made her day, you've given her something. Smile.

Unknown said...

It's not just the crappy haircut though... it's the rudeness and the disrespect and the patronising lecture-iness too. I've been cutting my own hair for years - it's free and I have fabulous conversations with the hairdresser!

Sarah xxx

annton said...

even with no hair, you would be beautiful; inside an outside. besides that, I so know about all these grumpy, mainly unhappy people. sometimes I will yell back, sometimes I will manage to understand, they are not able to do better. and when the days are really good, I will know: their problem, not mine!

Giulia said...

This is also why I go to the same great person for so many years. Or the same salon anyway. I have very little money but I just let it grow long, she cuts it & trims the bangs for free. "Curating" everyone with whom you come into contact isn't possible, but this sort of thing is...even at a less-pricey place. xoxo

Marion said...

I feel your pain. I've been in that chair, too. And yes, it does grow back. I have a horribly bad habit of cutting my own hair AFTER I get a trim. Would that I had the guts to just shave it all off. LOL! Sending hugs. xo

Mel said...

I know exactly how you feel Maggie. It is one of the hardest things in life to find someone nice to cut your hair the way you want it cut. I've tipped too many awful hairdressers to even remember. Just once, I wish I had the nerve to say are you kidding me?? Do you really think this looks like what I asked you to do??? Or do you even think this would look good on anyone???
But no, I fake a smile, hurry home, wash it out, and try to figure out how to salvage this new stupid cut. And remind myself how fast it grows out. Thank goodness for that. My latest new haircut rule is no matter what, it still has to be long enough for a ponytail, no shorter. I kindof like having enough hair to hide behind.

I'm with Mary, you'd be beautiful bald, so shorter hair is bound to be lovely too.

Maggie May said...

Well I just can't be upset anymore after all these comments. Way to hold a girl up, yo! I love you guys.

The photo is a before haircut photo. Just sayin. ;)

Amelia said...

You are BEA-UTIFUL!! And I totally get it. I've never left the hairdresser's chair thinking; Oh! This is awesome! It's always; well, it'll grow. I'm sorry this happened to you too.

Maggie May said...

Marion I have the same problem! Ha! I did that last night :) AND I tried dying/highlighting and now have orangish looking highlights. Yay me.

January Dawn said...

I love the fact that despite the shitty hair experience (which I KNOW wouldn't make a difference in your beauty) and the way you were treated, you still empathized with her.

But besides that, it's okay to cry about the little things as it is to cry about the big things. Sometimes I wish I could cry more. It's a great feeling of release. :)

Hyacinth said...

Girl, let me first say you are gorgeous inside and out...but I totally get being bummed about a bad haircut and a bad hairdresser! When I was much younger, I was invited to a party where I wanted to make a great impression...and went to get a haircut right before, which ended up being a total disaster...she cut my hair so short it would stick up and made me look like a little boy (and I still tipped her)! Came home in tears and my mom said "don't worry, it'll grow back"...yeah, it did but until it did, it totally sucked!!!

Sorry the lady had to take out her angst on your you'll manage to do something cool and creative with your hair until it's back to the way you want it :)

Lora said...

i think you are totally justified in crying. until I started to lose my hair, i would have never considered myself vain or insecure. now when I look in a mirror, all i can do is stare and think that I've really been dealt a shitty hand.

it's not just hair. it's your hair. it makes you look like you. and when there isn't as much there as you would like there to be, the whole world seems off

CSB said...

Honestly I bet your hair looks great! I get attached to my hair too, but cutting a few more inches off helps it look healthier and fresher. I know that wasn't the point of your post, but I just wanted to say that I hope you are loving the new length now that the shock and frustation have worn off.

Bethany said...

this made me teary. Gosh, people do suck sometimes. How awful. And damn that you tipped her Maggie, sheet.
I think you are lovely, even bald I imagine.
But I totally get this.

88highburycorner said...

Oh I feel your pain Maggie. For my first haircut in months post baby instead of giving me 'layers' the hairdresser cut out a huge chunk in the back of my head, essentially a giving me long mullet. Then on top of it I went to have my eyebrows threaded and I came away bloodied looking like I had gotten into a fist fight. I had to laugh through the tears I looked so bad it was so comical.

Caroline said...

I have SO been there!

And thank goodness for you Maggie. We all love you and you KNOW I think you are gorgeous. You would look beautiful bald!

p.s. these days I just wear my hair up in a bun and it is super lame! I just tell myself this is my season in life for bun hair! :) Ha!

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