Tuesday, April 30, 2013

tesseract of love

When things get really hard in a relationship that matters to me more than most any other relationship- like my mom, my husband, my kids- I sometimes forget, and go long lonely and miserable winter paths alone forgetting, wandering through cold scrubbed branches and abandoned lots of land, that no matter what they do, or what happens in the end, or what other people call our relationship when they talk about us ( they are talking about us, aren't they? ), or if we are, in the end, really able to hold hands through it all, the thing that brings summer, the thing that endures in lightness and ease, the thing that allows the world to alight on your shoulder with the birds and the sun and the leaves that fall and slip yellow and silky over your shoulder before they erupt in an enormous satisfying crunch underneath your footfall, the thing that is the tesseract for all that remains, is that I do my part with love.
It's so simple. Ridiculously simple. And possibly the hardest work of life. To let go with love? To be disappointed with love? To be hurt with love? To grieve with love? I think about Jesus and his beautiful love. A good agnostic girl that loves Jesus, Buddha, Mother Teresa, I love to dream about being a better, bigger, more love filled person than I am...dare to dream that I would even forgive and love myself. 

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