Saturday, June 5, 2010

You Can't Handle The Truth

I had a son of a bitch tooth that I never finished root canaling and it decided to eat me. All week long it ate my gum and I chewed on the right side of my mouth, until today when a kind dentist with quite impressive polar ice caps on his front rack dug, hacked, hammered and drilled that tooth into small hunks that he yanked out over the period of one long hour. My mouth feels like someone just dug, hacked, hammered and drilled into it, finally pulling out a large chunk of what first formed in my mouth in utero. Jesus God.

Mr. Curry worked 7 days this week. He moves furniture, which I think is hot. There is nothing as sexy to me as Mr. Curry with slightly dirty arms and hands in his shorts and tee shirt lifting an incredibly large and unwieldy piece of furniture in his arms, all business, quick and strong. Well there is when Mr. Curry holds our children in his arms. Good thing he did too, because we needed every penny, with my $300 dollar surgical extraction.

Dakota has been on the East Coast all week with family, due to return tomorrow night. He will be 16 on June 22cd, my firstborn. We are saving to have him tested in August for the paltry sum of $1400 to $2500, depending. Maybe depending on if I offer myself to this neuropsychologist. You like pregnant sir? I'm disgusting.
The testing is for various processing disorders and ADD etc. If we find something this will force the school system to make some small accomidations and changes for Dakota that could be the difference between failure and success for him.

Lola was just a flower in her school play. She did wonderfully, all exuberance and smiles and hyperactive running around afterward. All three of her parents were there, plus a girlfriend of mine who brought Lola yellow flowers, knowing Lola does not like pink.

Ian was in big trouble because he was getting a C....in GEOMETRY. IN EIGHTH GRADE. This kid is so incredibly smart and focused, it teaches me. I love him to pieces. He's got this quiet goodness and capability about him that is beautiful to see moving toward manhood.

I had a conversation with the mother of a friend of Lola's which I thought was going well, as in, maybe we could actually get along and I wouldn't feel like a freak the way I do with 99% of the school moms, until she said ' ...you know, the moms that stay at home and volunteer at school all the time are working and they are doing something very selfless so you know, it still counts, and they are there all the time, and ... ' As soon as she said selfless I felt sad. I know it's such a snap judgement but women who view these realities in that light often don't like me. They don't get me and they think my attitudes are strange and unfriendly toward good parenting. She continued ' ...then you know there are those moms who stay at home and are never at school. I mean, whatever, that's there choice, but .... ' and the implication was clear. If you aren't working, your ass better be volunteering for Cupcakes and Snack Plates and stapling every week, because what else of possible equal worth could you be doing? The bitch in me wanted to tell her I was too busy writing my novel and having kinky sex with my husband while I'm 15 weeks pregnant, in addition to exposing my children to homosexual rights and the options of contraceptives and the liberal beauty in breastfeeding a two year old. I didn't.

My head hurts my tooth hurts and that's all the writing I can squeeze out.
Brigindo said...

Sorry about the tooth pain but getting it out is the important part.

Have you looked into local universities for getting Dakota tested? I know my university does it for a fairly low price. Granted they are doing it as a teaching experience but it still counts as a diagnosis.

That one girl said...

Crap, I thought once I sent the kiddo to school, I didn't have to see him until school was OVER. Was I mistaken?

Ms. Moon said...

Oh girl. I have stapled, I have tutored, I have copied, I have written an essay while I worked in the clinic at my children's schools.
And I have had teeth chiseled out. And I have done that other stuff too- the pregnant sex which is somehow better than any other, the homosexual rights, the breastfeeding a two-year old. Believe me- all of THAT comes back to you better than working at any damn school carnival.
Trust me.

SJ said...

I love, love, love that THAT is what you want to teach them. They'll be better off. I'm always thinking of you, Maggie May.

Ocean Girl said...

Raw and pure truth squeezed and dripped out.

Vodka Mom said...

I have had FAR too many root canals in my life. One word? Valuim. FROM THE DENTIST.



do it.

Still Life With Coffee said...

That bitch in you has awesome comebacks. Would love to say all those things to someone someday!

Elizabeth said...

Oh, I would have loved to see the expression on the lady's face should you have actually said that. I have many similar type conversations in my own head regarding perspective, actually, and just thinking the dialogue helps me to cope. I'm so sorry about your tooth -- and the expense. That just sucks.

Love to you and quick healing for your mouth.

The Empress said...

I'm with you, I'm so glad people can't read my mind.

They'd be shocked out of this century...

Feels good just thinking it though, right?

Angie Muresan said...

Oh, I so wish you would have said that!

Hoping your toothache goes away quickly.

Dingo said...

The conversation with fake nice mom sounds more painful than the tooth extraction.

Vashti said...

sorry about your tooth, there is nothing worse than a tooth ache!

Im so glad that I am not the only freak show mum out there!!! Some days I actually want to slap some of the mums at J & J's school. So far up their own arses!
UGH!

any way.......have a lovely sunday my friend.
xx

rachel... said...

I am that mom, too. That godless liberal breastfeeding one with all those babies who stays home but never helps out at the school. Fuck 'em.

Hope your (lack of) tooth is feeling better.

starrlife said...

I'm in the Feel like a Freak club..... I try not to be too judgmental of them that isn't a freak but it's hard sometimes :)
All I have to say is that I'm a psychiatric SW and they get this funny look on their face and move away, like I have xray eyes!
Good luck with the neuropsych eval and the school for Dakota!

Wine and Words said...

I FEEL ya! I've been there and it ain't never fun at the dentist. So much, so much, yes. Breathe....

just making my way said...

Oh man, tooth pain is the worst!

I haven't had luck connecting with many Mom's - except on the internet! We all need to converge into one big compound somewhere.

clearness said...

I went to a birthday party yesterday at Monkey Joe's and there was this girl there following around her child and she made me think of you. Every time I saw this girl, I wanted to say "You remind me of Maggie May".

Marion said...

Oh, dearest, Maggie May. I'm sending you a sincere Southern, "Poor Baby" for the aching tooth. (I'm overdue to go to my own dentist...a necessary and expensive evil!) I hope it's better soon.

I know that teaching Universities sometimes do the testing your child needs for free or reduced prices. Look into it. When my girls were little, I often took them to the LSU Medical Center and the care was always top notch. Sending you hugs and blessings! xo

Kempt said...

Sometimes I wish I lived around you and we'd laugh at the word "selfless" together. xo

Just.Kate said...

I hope you feel better, physically and mentally. And I hope you give this woman a chance to give you a chance. My friends and I parent from all different angles with all different methods, and though we sometimes get a little hackled, we still connect. Oh- I love that you're having kinky sex at 15 weeks pregnant and I think all children need to be exposed to "extended" breastfeeding. Happy summer, Maggie. :)

Lisa Page Rosenberg said...

... and you can't handle the tooth.
Glad it's out.

Ah the self-less staplers. Bless them. We have a different calling...

magnoliaamber said...

I wish all the best for you, Maggie=)
(pregnancy, Mr. Curry, Dakota, Lola... and your teeth)

Only A Girl said...

Judgmental people make me want to rip my ears off. Wait - *their* ears. Yeah, that's better. Too bad you couldn't have done that.

krista said...

i am so full of love and hope for you that i might grab a fistful of your stress and squeeze the bejeebus out of it right now. i'll hand it back to you all small and shriveled and ready to feed the backyard soil.
xoxo

AngeLopHeLio said...

I like your blog

Caroline of Salsa Pie said...

Glad your tooth is on the mend. Sorry you are/were in so much pain...
Your children are lucky to have you. I've never felt like I fit in with many other moms either, but that's not always a bad thing. I'm not much of a social butterfly (in fact I'm a serious homebody) and wouldn't fit in well with the bake sale crowd, I fear. The most arrogant thing any human being can say is that they are "selfless". That's a major friendship turnoff for me too.

Mwa said...

I wish I could write like that when my head and tooth DON'T hurt.

I hate people who think "selfless" is what we should all aspire to. Selfless is stupid. Kindness is fine. Selflessness is destructive.

mrs.notouching said...

so I was right - we could totally be friends in real life.

hiphophippie.com said...

Oh good gawd! I'm so sorry about your tooth!

Sending sweet (but non-sugary) vibes...

anymommy said...

I love pregnant sex. I miss it. I'm sorry, about the tooth and the silly lady. Hell. Maybe she felt like a dumbass afterward? Maybe she thought it was what you wanted to hear? Probably not, but you know, maybe ;-)

previous next