Saturday, July 3, 2010

say what?


Lola and I were standing in Coffee Bean this morning, waiting for my once a week and completely delicious iced vanilla latte ( CB makes the absolute best iced lattes I've ever had- rich and creamy and thickly flavored ) when she began to tell me in a loud voice- she's 8- that the left side of her nose was completely clogged up with hard snot and blood, and no matter how she tried she couldn't get it out. Lola, come here, I said, and she came closer. I kissed her on the mouth. Mom! You always kiss me for no reason. I said quietly, OK, here are the four things you never talk about in public...Snot, Vomit, Poop or Blood. She giggled. OK, Mom. I think the elderly gentleman trying to eat his bagel appreciated my efforts.

Like most happy children, Lola has no idea that the details of her life and thoughts are not completely interesting and appropriate to share with the general public. She likes to say in public,
Mom, you know how I have two Dads? Or, Mom, you and Daddy make out all the time. Yes, yes we do. And I'm so happy we do. Not so happy that now everyone at my local Henry's knows this. Mom, Dakota doesn't smoke pot anymore does he? No, no he doesn't. And I'm so happy he doesn't. Not so happy that now the pharmacist down the street has this juicy tidbit. Mom, why don't you talk to your Dad anymore? Mom, I need new underwear. My old ones all have big stains. Sweet.

Ian and Dakota can be merciless in trying to embarrass me in public, but they aren't innocent offenders. Last week at the grocery store Dakota stopped and clenched his hands together, saying
Mom, please don't buy any more alcohol, you know it's not good for the baby. I wanted to be appropriately disapproving, but I was laughing too hard. Ian has taken to begging me not to hit him again when I am scolding him. Mr. Curry tells them to stop, but he's grinning, so it's a non point.

You can see we have a sparkling reputation in town.
ps
Ever kicked Lola this morning :)
Elizabeth said...

I love this post, hearing your joy eking out -- joy in your children, in your pregnancy, in your marriage.

Still Life With Coffee said...

<3 <3 Perfectly sweet.

just making my way said...

I agree with Elizabeth - this is all so full of fun and love. It made me smile!

Mwa said...

Very funny. I bet you get too embarrassed sometimes. (Even though I must say conversations about snot and blood don't bother me too much when I'm out - the others seem MUCH worse.)

Tracey said...

Hey Maggie!

I love that you call your daughter Lola. That was (seriously) my name if Seb had been a girl...which we really thought he was! And believe me it was hard finding a name we loved as much as Kitty but Lola. That's it! ;) Thanks for stopping by! x

Louis Duke said...

ah, i love this. my brother and i do that to my mom all the time. although i've had the tables turned on me many times.
yesterday my mom yelled out the door that we were holding her hostage as my friends looked on bewildered from the car.
or last week when my brother and his best friend loudly pronounced in chick fil a 'Dad, you said you wouldn't touch me like that anymore!' and being that i look years and years older than my brother, everyone turned and stared at me.
ha, i love your blog.
sorry for the long story comment!

Lisa said...

I need your help....anybody's help. All who will...can you go to my daughter's blog and leave a comment...

"Keeping Hope For You"...She will know what you mean.
Here is the link.
http://amandamilton.blogspot.com/

Marion said...

Oh, the joys of motherhood! But seriously, it's these moments that make it all worthwhile---when they're developing their own quirky sense of humor, usually at your expense. :-)

My younger daughter watched the movie, "Mommie Dearest" with her older sister when she was about 3 years old. The very next day we were in Wal-Mart and they were whispering to each other very hush-hush like. Suddenly, as we got near the checkout, both of them starting hollering, "Please, Mommy, NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!!" They said it three or four times before I walked away and pretended I didn't know them. LOL! They still laugh about that. Out of the mouths of babes. Don't worry, karma will get them. I've seen that happen to both of mine as they now have their own big-mouth kids. LOL! Blessings!

Maggie May said...

Lisa I left a comment. Hoping for you and your daughter.

CitricSugar said...

Dakota and Ian just made me wet myself a little bit - that's hilarious and I'm glad that you are a family where everyone gets the same joke or that would be awkward beyond awkward. In my family, it's our humour that keeps us afloat. The family that plays together....

britteny said...

aww. that is perfect.

those are the best kind of memories.

and awesome on taking initiative to raise that money!

www.bluntdelivery.com

Only A Girl said...

Hilarious!

Petit fleur said...

Hee hee! Ever had to get into the act too. Sounds like she's in training for being the little sib.

I'm tickled to hear other parental stories of embarrassment woes... because I get my share. Harley likes to talk about his boogies and his willie... and when he's not talking about them, he's playing with them. sigh. It is funny and horrific at the same time.

Thanks for sharing.
xo

Angie Muresan said...

Haha. This cracks me up, Maggie Mae. You guys are hilarious!

Ms. Moon said...

One time, when Lily was a young thing, she threw herself down on the floor of the mall and began screaming, "Don't hurt me!" As if I had ever done so.
And now she is a mother.
Ah lah.
Life does roll around.

mrs.notouching said...

Nice. Surely my kids will NEVER behave like this... right? RIGHT?! Oh God...

That one girl said...

You have FUN kids!

Ocean Girl said...

I want to write like you, but no I want to write like me but I love your brave rawness.

mosey said...

I think it's in the job description of both parent and child - you must embarrass your parent/kid whenever possible.

So funny....

michelle said...

This is cracking me up. They sound like my kids. I know the way I feel when mine are being "like that". It fills my heart with joy and makes my soul laugh.

So glad you get to feel that way too

Lovely World said...

Kids say the funniest things. This gave me a chuckle.

krista said...

my mom and i will go to the store and be in different parts and when we meet up and she tries to put something in the cart i will say VERY loudly "LADY. I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU. PLEASE STOP PUTTING STUFF IN MY CART." she inevitably turns bright red and starts laughing so hard she can't talk. then i walk away.
i get your family, yes i do..

The Storialist said...

Too funny and adorable!

Therese said...

All that? Love it.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

When our daughter was maybe 4 years old, I was interviewing for daycare clients once I opened my home daycare. Our daughter did NOT want to share her toys or her home with any other kids. So, during one interview, when the mom asked me how I disciplined the daycare children, my daughter piped up and said, proudly, "Oh, she just slaps me in the face, and that makes me stop."
Yeah. Precious.
Needless to say, I didn't get that client.

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