Sunday, July 11, 2010

the trumpet of the swan

the nite-vines grow where they do,
through the eye socket, jam through
the white paperback tooth:
needle through thread, that easy.

this is how my ears fail
in thatch of old man overgrowth
this is how my eyes fail
slowly: dendrites and scattered leaves.

something left for dead, long ago
blown clear into life
with the hush
hush reach of vine
jingling leaves;
the keys snaking in pocket.

i am not afraid
i am terrified
i am all grown up
i am a child

i listen owl-like to the great white therapist
he offers his plan with enthusiasm
brown loafers kicking and kicking
myself in the smooth crib of couch.

hear hear, i turn my head,
see
his instructions, and the vines.
my fingers swell, turn red
dip dip in turpentine

the darlings come clean and i am meaty.
the lovers make simple i make spider webs.
come see me in ten years,
i shall be a great vine covered castle

made for remembering, not living.
made for the deep pocket keys,
the child's sweat flinch hand
he smooth pages of map-books.

my keepers, my God!
why can i not
just. just.
would you curl your mover's
fist
round the trumpet rope in my brain?

my keepers, my godless heart.
here i am, replanted after all this time.
i thought i was perfumed against rape
and crimes of the heart.

come lick me clean, lover.
i'm not supposed to ask for a savior,
having no religion to speak of.
still the heart wants what it wants

i'd like you to save me.
sorry to ask.

maggie may ethridge
july 2010

*
Araujia sericifera- trumpet vines
Allegra Smith said...

For lack of words I send you love and light. As always and no, I won't go. I will find a way to stay, you know I will.

yolanda said...

oh, maggie,,,, this is so genius!!
i have enjoyed every word, sucked deep into my gut, my loins!!!
i love when you write, when you live....
i am still a child but i´ll grow up soon, hehe..

i love youuuu
yolanda

Drax said...

Whew. Fucking intense! Awesome.

Marion said...

"i am not afraid
i am terrified
i am all grown up
i am a child"

Oh, Maggie, this poem is just purely amazing and heartbreaking. I love the verse above and I still feel that way even though I'm in my 50's. Fear has been my life partner. I like Anne Lamott's acronym for fear:

Fuck
Everything
And
Run

But you have taken your angst and transmuted it into the alchemical gold of this amazing poem. Keep writing it all out and hang in there. This, too, shall pass. Sending love, light and (((hugs))).

"Fear is just your feelings asking for a hug." ~Joy on 'My Name is Earl'

Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

such a sorrowful beautiful masterpiece.

Peace ~ Rene

Maggie May said...

thank you all so much for reading and responding, it never fails to mean so much to me to have a response.

Marion i love Anne Lamott- have most of her books, she's wonderful :)

Terresa said...

You are channeling Plath here, in a glorious way. And I am loathe for your poem to end.

It is divinity itself.

Love, Evolution, and Resilience said...

Intense. Beautiful and I have been transformed. Pulled in by you... as always. God knows I needed this today. Much Love Mag... I often long for your depth... xo

Phoenix said...

"Come lick me clean, lover"

Jesus YES. I get that all to well. We love those parts of others that are far more capable than ourselves and simultaneously resent and feel grateful as they consistently dip down to save us.

What a fan-fucking-tastic poem. Brilliant.

Maggie May said...

i love Plath..the 'any religion to speak of' is direct homage to Anne Sexton :)

angela simione said...

"made for remembering, not for living"

that made my eyes tear up. gorgeous. and there's just so much Honor in this piece.

Annie said...

You take us on a ragged journey, and the line, so powerful- after so much passion- the calm - "I'd like you to save me, so sorry to ask," the contrast between the outer and the inner life; the desire and the fear, presented so clearly.

jeri manos said...

Maggie, I am new to your blog,,, I love your poem,,,you are a great writer...I look forward to going back into your history to read your past blog entries... you have such depth in your writing. I am an aspiring writer, so I enjoy a well written "anything!" ... also Love the picture of the dancer next to your blog name. You will be hearing more from me!
Jeri :)

Maggie May said...

jeri always glad to have new writers to talk with. welcome.

Woman in a Window said...

i am not afraid
i am terrified
i am all grown up
i am a child

I wonder if it is all of us that want to be cleansed and saved, or just a few of us who either know it or will admit it? I do bet on the all of us though.

I love to read you. I wonder why it has been so long for me? You've a unique way to pull things directly from your throat.

xo
erin

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