Sunday, September 12, 2010

Scenes From a Marriage: Ten Reasons It's You and No One Else


Every Sunday morning he wakes and goes 10 minutes over town for my iced vanilla latte from Coffee Bean, while the kids and I are still sound asleep. Then he returns home and makes breakfast- bacon, eggs, toast and waffles, juice. Later the same day, because Sunday is our family cleaning day, he vacuums and scrubs and washes and sorts.

He has always insisted I have the best, most beautiful breasts on the planet Earth. I also know if anything ever happened and these breasts were gone, he wouldn't stumble the dance moves- I'd have the 'best ass on planet Earth' or 'best legs' in replacement. And he'd mean it.

No one would ever guess, meeting our family, that he is a 'step' anything. Lola loves him and trusts him and depends on him completely. Everything that I wanted and never had for myself as a little girl with my father has been realized with the two of them. The snuggling, the joking, his involvement in her Girl Scouts, her view of him as invincible ( at night when she's scared she reassures herself out loud that no one could possibly hurt her with her Dad around, because he is the biggest, strongest man ever and would never let anything hurt her ) ... the other day she said Mom, Daddy is the best man I know.

Ever show that is or has been my favorite TV show is his, too. Arrested Development, Six Feet Under, House, Thirty Rock, Dexter, Rescue Me- and the Sopranos, especially The Sopranos- all shows we have sat and watched together, in complete agreement about the meanings, the humor, the darkness. It's not every show I like that he likes, or vice versa, but the ones we love- those are the same.

He really likes a co-worker of his named R. R is a former gang banger who went to prison and has teardrop tattoos on his face, which usually implies a terrible violence or murder. R says fuck about every third word. R is now married with grown kids and grandkids that he takes care of every weekend. Mr. Curry judges R on what he knows. What he knows is that despite the outer observations- hardcore tats and constant cursing- R is respectful, a hard worker, honest, and a family man.

He has walked through the last few years with Dakota. He has risen to the hard, painful occasion over and over. It's an uncommon grace, to marry a man who is a step-parent to your son and who can go through the disrespect, the fear, the explosions, the school problems, the financial strain and emotional overwhelm of a troubled teenage boy with such devotion, focus, heart and determination.

He watches over me. Last week we'd had a particularly painful, rough day with Dakota. I was at Rubios with Lola, trying to take her out for some 'fun time' despite my aching heart. On the phone with Mr. Curry, I was suddenly overwhelmed with fear and grief. I have to go, I told him, I'm in public, I'm with Lola, I have to keep it together. We hung up. About 15 minutes later, he was walking toward our table in Rubios, slid next to me, put his arm around me and said words of love and comfort. Whenever I see this man walking toward me, my heart leaps.

We have the same sex drive and how do you say...profile.( Does that make us sound like criminal deviants on some police report? ) We are perfectly matched skin to skin.

One time, he filled up an entire bedroom ( couldn't see the ceiling ) with brightly colored balloon, each of which had a different reason he loved me written on it.

He is innately respectful, and not only that, but highly curious and interested, in the vast array of differences between human beings, men women cultures religions, the whole shebang.

And that'll do for now.
Gina said...

i'm so glad i found your blog, this is a beautiful post.

AlpHa Buttonpusher said...

I love the way you/he love.

YES Gallery + Studio said...

Amazing man. I LOVE that post!! - Leigh

Carrie Burtt said...

Maggie, i am a new follower of your wonderful blog! I stumbled upon you through another amazing blog,A Gardener's life in motion, this post makes me smile with inspiration....every mother hopes that her daughter will find someone likes this...someone that fills the empty places like a perfect beautiful fitting gown. Your marriage is a testiment to what a marriage should be...it is a devotion, sacrifice, comfort, and joy. Unfortutely, so many people never experience this kind of connection with another soul. You are truly blessed! Thank you for sharing this wonderful insight into your world. :-)

Mary said...

Love is all you need.

The rest are wants.

Xxx

Ms. Moon said...

I think that'll do forever.

Mel said...

Dang. That was a beautiful, happy making list. Ain't love grand?
You are a lucky woman, he is a lucky man, and your family is blessed in the best possible way.

CitricSugar said...

Now that's a love letter.

Simply Mel said...

Mr.Curry is perfection, and your love for him makes my heart do a happy dance! Life is good when you find that 'niche' of incredible within a marriage!

katiecrackernuts said...

Good Lord ... he's a keeper. And this post should be in a "how-to" manual for newlyweds or even oldlyweds or even just hanging outs. Let me just say, Mr Curry, I love you. If you weren't having your wife's child, well, goodness.

Bee said...

You are very lucky.
With all of the real hardships you and Mr. Curry have, you also have some of the best-ever things going for you. And you KNOW it and appreciate it.

Beautiful love letter.

Elizabeth said...

You are beyond blessed. And so is Mr. Curry. I hate to admit to envy, but I do.

Jeanne said...

Smiling, as I so often am as I leave here....

clearness said...

"One time, he filled up an entire bedroom ( couldn't see the ceiling ) with brightly colored balloon, each of which had a different reason he loved me written on it. "

That is about the most sweetest thing ever in the history of the entire world forever and ever.

Love LOVE this post! I totally want to meet your family!

RiotGrrlCynic said...

That brought tears to my eyes. Beautiful.

Sara said...

Maggie, you give me such hope. Thank you.

Annie said...

Maggie,
This post makes me happy. Balloons to fill a room with all the reasons he loves you? Special coffee and breakfast on Sunday mornings? And the sexual compatability, mutual interests, successful patient parenting, and the love? You do that for each other, I know. It's beautiful you draw upon each other's strengths.

Therese said...

Wrote my love a letter of gratitude just yesterday. Isn't it a privilege to find love like this? I'm so happy for you.

Allison the Meep said...

Wow. Seriously, if you ever get mad at him for anything, make yourself read this post. He's awesome.

Reading this made me so happy.

Terresa said...

Beautiful man, for every reason and many more unlisted, Maggie, you are Blessed.

Mine plays the banjo, he plucked notes on it last week, I told him it was the best foreplay I'd ever experienced...

Insectman said...

I hope that happens for everyone.

yup.

Vodka Mom said...

THis particular piece made me smile. And no, I am not wiping a tear away.
no. no. no

Petit fleur said...

I don't think any of us could dream up someone better. It sounds like he is perfect for you! Hitting all the important needs/wants, and then has many unexpected extras to put him way over the top... with just enough mystery to stay intriguing...

You are all blessed.
xo pf PS Now you've made me want a vanilla latte!

nfmgirl said...

Jeez. You've got me crying already this morning. Well, we all thank you and feel blessed that you would share Mr. Curry with us (and that he can take us on, considering he is so busy already!) We're all better for it. And your whole family is lucky for one another.

Evangeline said...

These "scenes from a marriage" posts are beautiful, Maggie. I love the kaleidescope of colours that go together to make one body & soul compatible with another, and the seemingly mundane things that add up to equal true, mad, deep love. The DH and I love the same shows too, and the same books (with the exception of Jane Austen and a few others, but he is after all, a man), and it adds a certain richness to our shared experience to love the same words and characters, and to be able to enjoy and talk about them together...pure gold.

Marion said...

Oh, be still my heart. You are one lucky woman. He's a keeper, for sure. Love & Blessings! xo

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Boy, Maggie, Mr. Curry is a real gem. I'm so glad you found each other.

Love you much,

SB

Angella Lister said...

the easy way your daughter rests her foot against Mr. Curry's leg says it all. such love in this post. you are so loved.

Phoenix said...

Damn do I love this post. Love, gratitude, chemistry, respect... you guys have it all for each other.

To love well and be loved well is the only kind of wealth there is.

krista said...

yep, it's lola's foot on mr. curry's leg that does it.

Annje said...

Your love for him is almost palpable. I am so glad, after all you have been through, that you have that calm in the storm.

justmakingourway said...

Aw, Maggie. I love when you write of love and marriage. Always so special.

Maggie May said...

it's good to make lists like this cuz i could have strangled him yesterday.

ah marriage. like having kids, wildly rewarding and incredibly hard at times.

Mwa said...

Yeah, that'll do any time. What a man.

Carol said...

I loved this post. I found you reading through Google reader and now I'm following.

Carol-the gardener

Deborah Ann said...

Hi, I'm blog hopping today. This one is great fun! Your husband sounds divine...rather reminds me of mine!

So cool that you have a book published. I'm in the process now, and it's absolutely grueling!

Have a great week!

Miss Tricky said...

Maggie, you just filled my heart up. Thank you so.

Meghan Elaine said...

This is one of the most beautiful posts I have ever read. You and your words- amazing I tell you.

Darcy said...

i love this...brought tears to my eyes

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