Sunday, September 12, 2010
Posted by Maggie May Labels: scenes from a marriage
Every Sunday morning he wakes and goes 10 minutes over town for my iced vanilla latte from Coffee Bean, while the kids and I are still sound asleep. Then he returns home and makes breakfast- bacon, eggs, toast and waffles, juice. Later the same day, because Sunday is our family cleaning day, he vacuums and scrubs and washes and sorts.
He has always insisted I have the best, most beautiful breasts on the planet Earth. I also know if anything ever happened and these breasts were gone, he wouldn't stumble the dance moves- I'd have the 'best ass on planet Earth' or 'best legs' in replacement. And he'd mean it.
No one would ever guess, meeting our family, that he is a 'step' anything. Lola loves him and trusts him and depends on him completely. Everything that I wanted and never had for myself as a little girl with my father has been realized with the two of them. The snuggling, the joking, his involvement in her Girl Scouts, her view of him as invincible ( at night when she's scared she reassures herself out loud that no one could possibly hurt her with her Dad around, because he is the biggest, strongest man ever and would never let anything hurt her ) ... the other day she said Mom, Daddy is the best man I know.
Ever show that is or has been my favorite TV show is his, too. Arrested Development, Six Feet Under, House, Thirty Rock, Dexter, Rescue Me- and the Sopranos, especially The Sopranos- all shows we have sat and watched together, in complete agreement about the meanings, the humor, the darkness. It's not every show I like that he likes, or vice versa, but the ones we love- those are the same.
He really likes a co-worker of his named R. R is a former gang banger who went to prison and has teardrop tattoos on his face, which usually implies a terrible violence or murder. R says fuck about every third word. R is now married with grown kids and grandkids that he takes care of every weekend. Mr. Curry judges R on what he knows. What he knows is that despite the outer observations- hardcore tats and constant cursing- R is respectful, a hard worker, honest, and a family man.
He has walked through the last few years with Dakota. He has risen to the hard, painful occasion over and over. It's an uncommon grace, to marry a man who is a step-parent to your son and who can go through the disrespect, the fear, the explosions, the school problems, the financial strain and emotional overwhelm of a troubled teenage boy with such devotion, focus, heart and determination.
He watches over me. Last week we'd had a particularly painful, rough day with Dakota. I was at Rubios with Lola, trying to take her out for some 'fun time' despite my aching heart. On the phone with Mr. Curry, I was suddenly overwhelmed with fear and grief. I have to go, I told him, I'm in public, I'm with Lola, I have to keep it together. We hung up. About 15 minutes later, he was walking toward our table in Rubios, slid next to me, put his arm around me and said words of love and comfort. Whenever I see this man walking toward me, my heart leaps.
We have the same sex drive and how do you say...profile.( Does that make us sound like criminal deviants on some police report? ) We are perfectly matched skin to skin.
One time, he filled up an entire bedroom ( couldn't see the ceiling ) with brightly colored balloon, each of which had a different reason he loved me written on it.
He is innately respectful, and not only that, but highly curious and interested, in the vast array of differences between human beings, men women cultures religions, the whole shebang.
And that'll do for now.