and all the way back home
last night i cried and felt guilty about crying
because i don't have cancer ( that i know of ) and our kids are healthy and we are together
and so really, there isn't any excuse to be crying over hair.
i'm just so tired of people being shitty.
the lady who cut my hair? she was shitty. she talked ( read: lectured ) to me the entire time she cut my hair about how long hair really just doesn't work when you are a mom. she tried to get out of shampooing my hair. she got out of blowdrying it. and she cut, instead of the 2 inches I asked- and showed her with my fingers at her request- I'd say about 5 inches of my hair off. All the golden blonde at the end is gone. And then she charged me out the ass for what took her not 15 minutes to do.
And I"m the idiot. I tipped her.
I kept thinking about her kids, and how she said she couldn't afford to visit them, and how she was probably angry at me for walking in beaming and happy with my baby and husband when she was divorced and alone during the holidays. I think she wanted to cut me down a size. So she cut me down about 5 inches.
it's just HAIR, Maggie. i know! but-but- my hair is the one thing I can depend on to make me feel pretty. i'm underslept and haggard looking, i don't have time for makeup right now, i don't have hardly any clothes that are cute and fit me, and my hair is the thing that I would use when I felt like a sloppy tired looking mess: Oh well! At least I love my hair!
it's not a 'big' deal. it feels like one to me, because it's the one more thing.
i've had a few rough experiences lately with grumpy, unhappy people who don't know how to sit at the grown up table and talk politely when they disagree. i'm tired of raised, angry voices and sharp, dented faces.
sometimes the world feels so unfriendly and lonely.
thank God for you.