Monday, May 21, 2012

Real Or Not Real?

Real Or Not Real?
Some (many) mornings of late, I wake
with dark birds in my eyes
They have taken the blue of my sky
-fly away with it in their claws and beaks.



Real Or Not Real?
This is how life is, sometimes.


Real Or Not Real?
For some of us, for many different reasons,
life is harder for longer.
Some, like Mrs. Kennedy,
don't make it.


Real Or Not Real?
Some people don't need a 'reason' to live.
Living is their reason.
They are very blessed or have worked very hard.
That is not possible for all of us, all of the time.
Sometimes, no matter how hard you work, you hurt all over
inside and out, under and in the fine veins of your left pinkie toe.
You can feel your heart. It hurts.


Real Or Not Real?
There are clubs no one wants to join.
Life Has Been Very Hard is one of those clubs.
We don't get to choose our childhoods.
We don't get to choose our diseases.
We don't get to choose our losses.
We don't get to choose our tragedies.
Sometimes, we can't even choose what we do.
We can only choose what we think about.


Real Or Not Real?
Every morning I awake into the internal blindness.
Every morning I lie with my body thick and useless against the sheets
and press my hands very gently against my eyes.
I feel the tears pouring from between my fingers.
Every morning I think of the faces of my children.
I remember I have to be more than I think I am capable of being.


Real Or Not Real?
My children save me.

lulumarie said...

Your children are happy and beautiful and real.

I believe you already ARE being more than you think you are capable of being! You just have to keep going until life eases up a bit.

Caroline said...


all that really matters in our lives is how we love one another. That is THE only thing that counts at the end of the day.

You are loved, friend and this too shall pass.

Love, Caroline

p.s. your children are little lights of love on this earth. I love these pictures!

Alicia D said...

such a moving post... painful yet inspiring.

Maggie May said...

I love you guys xo

Varda said...

SO beautiful. I am struggling with some depression right now. Thinking how different it is than when I didn't have kids. That it is affecting not just me. That I CANNOT let myself be depressed because my children need me, need me present with them, and so I cannot let the black dog have me. thank you. I needed this.

Elizabeth said...

Utterly beautiful -- all of you, and all of you.


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