Tuesday, November 18, 2008

A Critique and Evaluation of the Mother Reveals Serious Concerns

In Part One We Learn...

I've been having car troubles. We have two cars and both are falling apart, determinedly but at a fairly slow pace, giving us all equal chances to keep up, catch car parts as we roll our legs down the street under the steering wheel. ( Mr. Curry probably shouting at someone driving past us to ' Slow Down! Where are you going that's so important you have to run over a kid to get there!? '

Blue Thunder is Mr. Curry's truck.

White Trash is my car. Now, I think I can tell you the following because we know each other better now, so you know that I am a loving, ethical and moral person, and while highly neurotic and at times extremely strange, always guiding by principles. When we first got White Trash, my lovely and sweet children ( who have shouted YAY OBAMA at the screen with me for the last year and who gaze at our President and his beautiful family on our fridge every morning, who live with our roomates who are black and who have grown up in a family/friend life of inclusion and union...) wanted to name our car .... white power.

It's hard to explain to your kids WHY you can't name a family belonging something without also putting thoughts into their head that you don't want to, thoughts about a time and history they will learn about soon enough.

Plus, it's hard to explain it when you are laughing through your nose holes.

In Part Two We Shake Our Heads So Hard Our Glasses Fly Off....

So White Trash ( as we much more classily named our car ) has been sputtering and spitting and clicking and refusing to start. Off and on. And we haven't had the money to fix it. Or find out what IT even IS. White Trash owners we have to live up to the name, and let me tell you, it's no easy feat. So far we've put one pet urine smelling couch on our side yard, and Mr. Curry spends every morning hooking up WT to a charger, which I have to unhook, close the hood and put away before taking our children to school every morning. Yup. Class every step. of. the. way.

In Part Three We Wonder If our Terribly Embarrassing Obsession with Pamela Anderson's Relationships Really And Finally Mean That We Have Sunk Too Deep

So a few mornings, White Trash just won't start, despite Mr. Curry's pre-workplace minstrations. As much as I burp, fart, throw Coup Of Noodle containers in the trunk and
offer my kids cigs, there isn't enough White Trash to start the engine.

*disclaimer to borderline personalites: i'm not really offering my children cigarettes. it was a joke. ha. ha. ha.

When WT won't start, I have to call in the troops. Either Mr. Curry or Grandma Mary come runnin to take the kids to school- but Lola Moon is late. For a very important date.

And apparently...

Which Is Where We Come to the Conclusion That Our WT Heroine Is a Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Mother....

the school doesn't like this, not one little bit. And they don't care if you're car won't start likely story little missy, and to show how much they don't care, they send you a very Official and Important letter signed by THE PRINCIPAL HIMSELF stating that you cannot bring your child to school late ONE MORE TIME OR ELSE.

So there you have it. If you still like me, I'm shocked.

*but if you DO happen to still like me, can you send the principal a note and tell him he's a big meanie? i feel this is how adults handle things. anonymous hate mail.

Steph(anie) said...

Principals can be real turds sometimes. I know from personal experience.

Anonymous said...

The letter is written... Can I get the addy to send it too? Oh, and as for thinking we might not like you after this post... Shoot girl, I think I just fell in love.

Happyflower said...

You could home school and become a "granola mom" like me. ha ha! We start school when I get up! And no, we aren't one of those super religious families who want their daughters to become servants to their future husbands.

It is hilarious when people get to know me, they can't believe I am one of those home school moms. I guess I am way too liberal, a typical, but I guess I have always been different.

Rachael said...

Oh, he is a big meanie.

And, you're not a terrible mother. You didn't let them call it "white power" OR give them cigs, so don't beat yourself up too much!

Anonymous said...

Hi, thanks your comment on my blog!

I'm having 'attendance' issues with my son, too. I'm not sure I understand how the rules work. I'm the taxpayer, so the school WANTS my kid there, right?

I like your blog!

steenky bee said...

Car trouble, huh? You could bail out the auto industry and buy a couple of cars. I have a sick feeling that we may ALL be bailing out that industry. Also, what's up with that Principal?

Maggie May said...

i would LOVE to buy two new cars!!

when's the money comin?

snarf ;)

Anonymous said...

Maggie, when I win the lotto I will buy you two new cars, but for now you will have to settle for the nasty letter to the big meanie! I mean, jeez, it's not like you were late because you were all sitting around smokin' and talkin' bout "white power."

Lola said...

Of course I still like you! I might even like you better now, since I've gotten a principal letter and a phone call demanding $5.00 for the thermometer my son broke open in science class to find out what was in it.

I thought he was being kind of scientific, but Mr. R was very nasty on the phone and in print. I never liked principals!

Here's hoping that the White Trash Mobile miraculously fixes herself ;)

Jenny Grace said...

I just laughed through my nose holes.

Maggie May said...

my mom bought us a battery and mr curry cleaned the terminals and we are a GO!


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