Tuesday, September 15, 2009

things i am too tired/noncommittal to do that my vet has told me to do


Squeeze Wolfgang's ball area so a sticky stinky fluid comes out and doesn't get backed up. (dog)

Floss Wolfgang and Bodie's teeth. (dog-s)

Run something cottony soft and clean deep inside Bodie's ears. *

Rub Bodie's stomach lumpsack to assure that it is not turning cancerous. **

Open the lip of Bellatrix to observe the sore there and ensure it has not reddened. (cat)

Penetrate all feline poop to observe any possible worms.

notes to make me look better:
* although I have taken him to the vet to have his ears treated ** although I have taken him to the vet to have it biopsied
Ms. Moon said...

You know, I go to a country vet. When I go. It's hard to take four dogs to the vet. Anyway, they never say things like "Brush their teeth," which is good because if they did, I'd laugh so hard they'd have to call the cops.
I do believe that the lady I take my three fuzzy dogs to for grooming (and not nearly often enough) does that anal gland squeezing thing. I hope so because believe you me- I ain't ever going to do that.
Maggie- You have more than enough to do and do not need to floss your dogs' teeth. I'm serious. Don't even think about it.

Lemon said...

poor you, and poor pets. and ew.
btw i love the name bellatrix (though that has little effect on your situation lol)

Pam Hart said...

Not sure I'd perform these things on my pets even if I had tons of energy!

Brandi said...

I'm surprised your vet told you to do the first thing. I've had this problem with dogs before and the vet explicitly said to bring the dog in so he or one of the technicians could do it (and this wasn't a vet who was just out to make extra money). Then again, they were both female pooches, so maybe that makes a difference.
It's a lot to do. Believe me, with three cats and two dogs (though the dogs are with my parents back in NJ), I know how difficult it can be.

krista said...

that first one there? THAT is why i don't have dogs.

Annie K said...

Hmmm. Maybe there's a reason I don't own any pets right now, why I've always felt, much as I like the idea of pets, and I know they are a bundle of love, I know I only have time, energy, and money for people. Many years ago, we had three parakeets, and we loved them, and we paid the vet bills as if they were dogs, but, they were much easier to take care of. When I was a little girl we had dogs, and birds, and fish, and a turtle. I wish I had some good words of advice, but the "sticky stinky fluid," the stomach lumpsack, and the feline poop is making me cringe.

Elizabeth said...

I think that's going to be my new mantra: "things I'm too tired/noncommittal to do"

Maggie May said...

ms. moon you just made me laugh so hard and loud i snorted
for this, i love you (even though i already did)

this post is true but also highly amusing to me. please no one think i actually feel badly about not doing these things. i don't! and i do feel a teensy weensy bad about not feeling badly.

mostly, i think it's funny :)

Maggie May said...

annie this "I wish I had some good words of advice, but the "sticky stinky fluid," the stomach lumpsack, and the feline poop is making me cringe." is now taking a turn making me laugh

and elizabeth- GREAT idea.:)

Maggie May said...

seriously i can't stop laughing

Jon said...

And here I thought I was having a lousy day!

Harlow said...

Lol, you remind me of me. I was meant to do my cats ears twice a day for a week and then forgot, as well as worm her and give my guinea pigs antibiotics every day for a week...got the antibiotics done atleast! So now all that's left to do is wipe snotty piggy noses and check their poopies for worms (note to anyone that reads this; guinea pigs are NOT easy pets to look after, it may seem so but they are not!).

Animals are so much work....*sigh*
btw, your kittens are really adorable!!!

Vashti said...

Gross on all counts! I have 4 dogs and a cat and dont do any of that! Does that make me a bad owner? Oh well.

Mwa said...

Vets are weird. They must be to have chosen their job. I'd hesitate to do any of these things for my kids.

Rachael said...

OK, the plant thing is hilarious. That is my house to a T!

But the pet stuff - ew. I leave animal grossness stuff to my husband.

Jeanne said...

I'm not sure I'd do this for a kid, much less a dog.

erin said...

Ugh. Another reason not to have any animals what so ever.

The only reason to have animals in the first place is that I'm the wicked witch of PA over here. My kids think I'm evil for not letting them have pets. I suppose I am.
Evil and not dog ball squeezing and flossing.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Jesus pets are a lot of work, aren't they, Maggie? Well worth it though, I know.

Thanks for stopping by my blog.

You are loved.

SB

Glimmer said...

Same here, no pets. There are instructional videos on the net about how to give your cats shots for diabetes, etc. It is a full-time job, sometimes, and I can't handle it. Maybe after the mother duties are done, I will consider.

Not long ago a neighbor had her 18-year-old cat in the carrier and said she was taking him for an echo-cardiogram. She said it was costing her $$$$$$, I swear the amount blanked out on me it was such a trauma to hear. Another reason I am de-petted. I could not take the guilt of it.

In the old days, we got pets from somebody litter, loved them and when it was their time, they went off into the woods and passed. We found them, sometimes, and buried them. But no more. And that's sad, all around.

AmyMusings said...

Maybe give the dog to someone who enjoys playing with doggyballsacks. Just a thought..

Beth said...

It wouldn’t just be a case of being too tired/non-committal for me – I’d also be reluctant and somewhat grossed out.
(Ah, the guilt re: kids and pets...)
And your “notes” do make you look better! To me, anyway.

Love that RIP image.

Annabelle said...

Well... that sucks! HAha they're the first words that were summoned into my mind, but gee - that doesn't sound like fun to do... hope your pets are okay!

anymommy said...

I had to do that excise the sac thing to our dog. SOOO gross. If I didn't, if something scared him, he'd shoot that sticky, smelly stuff all over.

Oh my. You must be loving the comments on this post, not sure why I felt the need to share that.

Petit fleur said...

being a mom can really be gross, whether it is to children or animals... but especially animals!

Hang in there!

Heidi said...

eww! enough said. Hx

Jenn said...

Oh my. These are some of the very reasons that I have not adopted another cat after my first cat died almost 5 years ago, and could never have a dog as a pet. The noncommittal thing, yes so very in touch with that.

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