Friday, April 27, 2012

bathroom talk

I am in the shower and my hair swirls across the walls like ink pen illustrations. I put the hair there after it comes out in my hands. I am a mother of four. I am a wife. I think about things like: clogged drains. I clearly see a beautiful nude, her arms raised, breasts curved, head turned backward to look for someone. Around the water sounds escape like baby coos- there is Lola's laughter, the dogs barking, Mr. Curry's bass trombone for Ever.  I stare at the hair on the wall and wonder if I photographed it and put it on Tumblr I could make a famous site: Maggie's Hair Illustrations- The Art of The Mundane. Everyone would come and view the masterpieces of my hair, the brown and blonde and grey pieces delicately curving, making surprisingly poignant sketches that sometimes move in a surprise splash of water. A whole new art form. I also had the million dollar idea of ' Soapy Pussies! ' which is simply an entire website full of shots of ... you guessed it. This probably already exists and is making some other shameless housewife rich. I wish I didn't have so much shame. Guilt. Neurosis. Who would it hurt? We could buy health insurance. We could pay our rent without spending the entire 30 days beforehand in a horrible and gut wrenching countdown of budgeting, seeing if we will actually have enough money to pay for where we live. My life becoming like so many artists lives I have read. Without the drinking problem. Without the cigarettes, a habit I gave up at 30. Without drugs. With the kids, though. With Mr. Curry. Not alone on the boat. I also had the idea of Naked Movers, but that's already been done.  We googled that last week. Mr. Curry assured me that must be gay men moving for gay men and apparently it is so. No woman wants a bunch of naked sweaty balls and buttcrack moving all her precious things, he pointed out. True. It's like when Charlotte's fiance sat down naked on her white couch. Ball sweat on a white couch? Not good. I guess I'll have to go back to brainstorming.

Chrissy said...

A little less then ten years ago I had no qualms about some of the things I did to help earn a bit of extra $$. BUT, then I had a baby, and didn't want to end up as something gross on his E! True Hollywood Story or something, so I put the more grandiose things under wraps.

Look at India, namely the Hindu faith. In Bollywood films they won't show anyone kissing, but it's the same culture that produced the Kama Sutra. It's there, but it's cloaked in mystery and art.

Not sure where I was going with that. I loved this, by the way! Your inner ramblings and conversations with your husband are similar to mine. xo

krista said...

i thought i was the only one who did that with their hair.

yes. we aren't doing it alone, sister.
so i guess it could be worse?


Petit fleur said...

Hey Mags,

I like the hair art idea!

A friend of mine in a drunken stupor one evening decided that we could make our millions by having an auto repair shop that was run strictly by women with women mechanics. They would fix cars in their bikinis. I think this is a money maker too! We elaborated about how we would have sleezy male pin up calendars too, just for good measure.

Suffice to say we are never going to do it, so you may also add it to your list if you like!

Middle Child said...

You write how I wish i had been game to write - now am in that middle aged "respectable" jone with adult kids - I never minded a pair of sweaty balls as long as mu husband was on the other end - His bum crack was just beautiful as he was built like an adonis basically from hard work...poor bugger - a shitty end to a beautiful life. Its wonderful to read someone your age writing like this - goves me hope for the future - so honest - yet so beautiful. the basics in life a re beautiful - too many have sold their souls for shit - you may not know it but right now - here and now you are in a heaven. May not have security, money whatever but you have a man who loves you - to distraction from what I understand - beautiful souls of children you have led into the world and the beginnings of s dynasty - don't worry too much about the future - just do it as it feels right - yours won't let you down in old age because of what and who you are now. I admire what you express.

Maggie May said...

Middle Child that is one of the best things anyone has ever said to me about my writing. THANK YOU. and that paragraph you wrote yourself was a great piece, in itself. I think you have it.

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