Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I Never Promised You A Rose Garden


@image- emma hardy








What do you mean love love you love me? Do you mean didn't sleep all night because the baby woke at every hour with her whimper mouth rose? Do you mean the child is hurt all the time with the righteous anger of the young and directs it at us with all her eye rolling grownups are so dumbdumb power? Do you mean how is it we paid off allllll that debt and still...there's more.. are you sure? there's more? ahh it's all medical see how sick gets you broke in America? it's all Maggie needs another surgery? how fucking ruuude, let's charge her up the ass for it. it's all Ever has RSV and needs IV and oxygen and a special specialized doctor? how soon to ask for medical care in our opinion, chaching! They call asking for their money with their eyes screwed shut and mouths big and blabbering. They don't know and they don't want to know.

Each day is a complete and total parallel:

One line looks like this and says you are so lucky so blessed this is the family you always wanted

The next line looks like>> this///)+!@ and >>> says exhaustion
tepid thoughts >>>> evaporate
nothing to say>>>> too tired
post partum depression>>>>eating too much sugar
workfulltimeworkfulltimeworkfulltimeworkfulltimeworkfulltimeworkfulltimeworkfulltime
saggy body>> tired body>>>unwashed hair dirty shirts>>>babysick
writewritewritewritewritewritewritewritewritewritewritewritewritewritewritewritewritewrite
children my children our children our children
sensitive>>>vulnerable>failing>>unsure>>>horny>tootired
dishes??dogs??bathroom??sunroom??backyard??

HERE IS MY LIST IF I MAKE LISTS THINGS WILL HAPPEN THERE WILL BE TIME MADE
plant vegetables/extremecouponing/lolalearnbike/sex/organizepilespilesofpaperwork/

And bullhorn: I"M NOT COMPLAINING IT"S JUST THAT I"M TOTALLY COMPLAINING

it will get better
is supposed to be a slogan for bullied gay kids but i think it works for mothers of babies as well

ps
tell me it will get better!

pss
i mean i totally know it will, it's just i've never worked full time with a baby, never before!!! and...
i can officially say,,,it's amazing,,,that's the word for it

psss
tell me anyway....

pssssssssss
ever has bronchitis:(
Amelia said...

Sending light and love. (And it gets betterness.)

Steph(anie) said...

Ah shit, I'm sorry she's sick.

It will get better.

It will get better.

It will get better.

It will get better.

It will get better.

Ms. Moon said...

Yes. It gets better. Yes. It does. I swear it and I mean it. Okay, it gets different. And with each new step into a new direction, there is better and there is change and there is something else and listen- YOU ARE DOING IT! You.
You, you, you.
God, I wish I could come and step in and let you take a nap.

wildology said...

One moment at a time. You can do this. It will get better, so will she. **hugs**

Sandi said...

Hang in there Maggie! It WILL get better and you can totally use that line!

C.M. Jackson said...

sending lots of energy and the hope that baby ever gets well soon--it will get better-c

hayley said...

When this happens to me, I repeat this as a mantra: Tomorrow is another day. A day that will start with coffee. Really! Soon Ever will feel better. Then it will ALL get better. It really will.

Miss Tricky said...

well, poop. Maggie May I have been obsessively checking back with your blog all day like I knew you were going to write this particular thing.

I don't know how you do what you do but I DO know that you are doing that doo-doo. Or something.

It will get better.

Still Life With Coffee said...

I love that 'it will get better' is a slogan for bullied gay kids and I love how it is true for everything else. it does get better. It's hard to remember.... but it does. <3
babies grow fast, things change, life moves on. Sometimes too fast.

Mary Jo from TrustYourStyle said...

I know you'll make it through this! Sending you lots of good thoughts. It's going to get better, really! :)
xo Mary Jo

Petit fleur said...

It's beyond the pitts when the wee one has breathing/coughing problems. Very sad and scary...

IT WILL GET BETTER... In fact, it already is. Can you feel it?

The good news is that many many many children outgrow these kinds of things. Harley has bad asthma and I can already see the difference from when he was Ever's age to now at 5 years. Incredible.

As to the rest, that WILL get better too. It will sort itself out. Maybe not all at one time, but it will. AND You WILL FEEL better too... and you WILL have sex again, and you will stop panicking and you will get a break and and and...

Love you,
pf

Elizabeth said...

It will get better.

It will be all right.

It always is and does.

I know these things -- not just hope these things but know these things.

Ask and ye shall receive.

Love and blessings and ease to you.

Darcy said...

this writing. i know you're telling us things...like how you feel and how crazy things are...but i can't help...but focus on the writing....like how you NAILED IT and how beautiful it is even though it discusses raw stuff....

Kristin H said...

She will be fine soon, I am sure about it. But have to agree with you about the annoying healthcare system in America...

Caroline of Salsa Pie said...

Sending love. Lots and lots of love, Maggie May.

yolanda said...

wow, maggie, you write so damn good that everything is going to be fine!! yes!! love you so much!!!
xoxoxoxo
besos y abrazos!!!!!!

Mwa said...

It will get better. It will. It has to. It can't not. It will.

Love to you. x

Lo Lo said...

Maggie! I will get better. How about this: the next time I am in your neck of the woods, I am going to send you out of the house with the kids and I will clean you house for you. Top to bottom. Or, at least, top to bottom of the laundry pile. :) You keep writing. Write, write, write, my dear. Write through sickness and health. Write because it is the best medicine. Love.

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