Yesterday I was assaulted by the Universe. It shoved a big love wad right in my face when I was trapped in my hot, black car, helpless before the festival of goodness and joy. ( or wait, was that the Universe or Mr. Curry? Bad jokes are awesome. )
Look people. I tried to be pissed. Everyone IS really pissing me off. I tried to STAY pissed! It's not my fault!
So I'm driving in my car cruzin down the street in my six-four / knocking the bitches / slapping the hoes / lookin for nothin in life but to be legit / but don't quote me boy / cuz I ain't said shit with Ever in her car seat and sweaty soft baby skin all pinked up like a little piggy in the heat. Ninety. Hot! My man Ceelo Green comes on the radio, so I turn it up and start car-dancing. Singing too. I'm turning the car left onto the main road of Lola's elementary school, looking at the same mom I always see pulling her youngest in a red wagon on her way to pick up her kid when it begins: The day my life turned into a musical.
drivin round town with the girl i love / and i'm like / forget you STAGE RIGHT waiting for his turn in traffic, I see a big burly trucker in his moving truck smiling, bobbing his head and slapping his large square hand on the hothothot side of his truck, with Ceelo Green blaring from the radio.
i guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough / ain't that some shit STAGE LEFT a mom in a pink tank top with her hair in a messy bun and a Starbucks water cup in her hand is moving her head and smiling to the clear musical notes of none other than Mr. Green forget you / and forget her too
why? oh whyyyyy STAGE CENTER FRONT the car in front of me contains a tiny fragile person with a tiny fragile hand that pops out of the window and CLAPS TO THE BEAT OF CEELO GREEN !!!! i love you / i love you / whyyyy
I drive stunned and silent into the parking lot, put the car in gear, and sit in stupid wonder at the enormity of what just happened to me.
PEOPLE! I waited THIRTY SIX years for my life to become a musical!!!!!!
Next I'm going to have a dance off with a rude barista. Pretty sure I'll win. Did I ever tell you about the time I danced with Justin Timberlake? I did? Oh.
