Monday, May 2, 2011

Love Is A Battlefield

If we worked as determinedly and persistently at anything else as we do getting laid we'd be 1 rich or 2 broke or 3 in jail. Depending on what we were working at.  

Sex won't be a casualty of our fourth child! I won't lay that burden on her downy soft head. We're doing it for the children! 

Or a blow job. Sometimes that's perfect. If you ask Bill Clinton, it doesn't count as sex, but who is asking that guy?  

Meet me in the bathroom in ten minutes.
Affirmative.

Twenty minutes later...
I forgot about the clothes in the dryer that have been there so long they're mildewing, and your mom called and wouldn't get off the phone, and now the baby is crying.
S'ok.
Twenty minutes in the bedroom? Lola's gone and the baby should be asleep.

Half Hour later...
The baby scratched my nipple! EWAHROHOIGH!!!!

Ten Minutes later....
Seriously? You can't wait-
No.
No?
No!
Well take a shower!
K.
SIgh.

Twenty Minutes later...
Honey? Honey where are you? 
I'm in the garage! The pipe is leaking! I have to go put gas in the car, it's on empty. I'll be right back and meet you in the bedroom!

Half Hour later...
-doorbell rings- Lola's home.  Shit! We forgot to pack lunches!  You make lunches and then-
I have to go to bed. I have to be up at five.
-silence-
I love you.
I love you too.
Ms. Moon said...

Sometimes love is a featherbed. And that's OKAY!

Jason, as himself said...

Good for you guys for your continued efforts! Sometimes it is just easier to forget about it...

Annton Beate Schmidt said...

seems like we're all equal... in some ways. *laughs

Phoenix said...

best laid plans...

sorry, I couldn't resist the pun. Keep trying!

Caroline of Salsa Pie said...

oh my gosh--i can SO relate.

and i love what ms. moon said! :))

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