Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Lost at Seasick

Hello friends! I'm here and doing well, but very very VERY sick. The nausea ( thank you Bee for your tip, now I can spell this word ) is constant, unrelenting, day and night. I tried a medication that the midwife/nurse prescribed over the phone but it made me feel 'buzzy' and sleepless and that can't be good for Baby, so I tossed that.

Things We've Tried For the Rolling Pregnant-Sea
acupuncture bands ... did nothing
saltines ... help control it
seltzer water ... help control it
ginger tablets ... threw up three times, no go
not rising from bed till nibbled crackers .... no help
b vitamins .... can't tell
preggo tea ... in short, NO

I am consumed by my body. Life is about working, resting, sleeping and paying what attention I have left over to my family. I haven't been able to look at the computer screen without throwing up, and the last few days I finally found I could read a nighttime book without getting sick. My stomach burns, rolls, churns, heats up, sighs, heaves, purrs. It does everything but be silent and still. I have a noticeable baby bump. I feel dizzy at times, flushed with heat and then cold, and already I feel the slightest push of pressure on my pelvic area. My urine is darker, my nipples darker, my breasts tender and slightly larger. I am at work, sick and keeping face, I am at home on lunch break throwing up, napping and racing back to work, I am at home at the end of the day while Mr. Curry makes dinner and I help Lola with homework. Last night I ate some chicken and then tossed it all up when Mr. Curry made the daring move of bringing butter to the table.

I can feel the creativity evaporating. I have no words or stories or desire to communicate much, just the slow steady thrum of getting through each day, submitting to my body, trying not to worry too much that I can't keep Baby's vitamins down. Poems hang unfinished in my computer files, clusters of poems left unsubmitted, my email 400 messages, my novel untouched. I have no sex drive. My puss lays silent and observant, aware that the gig is up and we've been penetrated and conquered. I am tired, and dreamy, and afraid of things I won't name less I make them true. I am waiting patiently for the earthquake in my body to subside so that I can feel anything else. Joy lies under the surface, tempering all of this. Lola sings to the baby at night. Dakota is affectionate and protective. Ian is sweet and gentle. Mr. Curry is perfection, doing everything, helping, supporting, excited through and through to have our baby.

Our first OBGYN appointment is May 8th. We will find the due date.

I miss you all.

xo
maggie may
Ms. Moon said...

Oh, Maggie. I'm sorry this one is so rough. Were your others like this as well?
I know this sounds stupid, but during one of my pregnancies I was told to try sucking the pits of pickled plums. They're oriental. The sourness did help me a bit but it's no cure.
Ride this wave until the next one comes along in the next trimester. It will be a smoother one, I hope.
I've been thinking about you, wondering at your silence. And believe me- your creativity (not to mention your puss) are all busy at the moment with CREATION of a different sort and will return bright and shiny and new.

raining sheep said...

I was very ill with both my pregnancies. My friend suggested strawberry leaf tea (the real stuff from a healthfood store). It really did settle my tummy.

sherri said...

so sorry you are so sick, that truly sucks. but really happy for you the reason why!

katydidnot said...

naps?

popcorn?

one of the those sleep mask things?

godiva?

i have no idea. i slept through my first trimester. my three first trimesters.

Lola said...

Ugh! I'm glad to hear from you, though. I really wish you felt better and could enjoy your pregnancy a little more.

I never had that nastiness with my pregnancy, but I remember being so tired that I could barely function at all in the first trimester.

Feel better!

katiecrackernuts said...

This baby of yours is a bloody pirate. Maybe a good ole' bottle of rum and a sea shanty. (No, not really). Tell bub to stop making you throw up or, or, or, you'll make it walk the plank.

michellewoo said...

Miss you, too. Stay well. Thinking of you!

julochka said...

sorry you're so sick, but don't worry about the blog...LIFE is much more important than blogging (whoa, i never imagined i'd say that..)

take care of yourself!!

xox,
/julie

Vashti said...

I miss you my friend! I thought it must be bad as so much time has passed since your last post...didnt realise that it was this bad!! So sorry! I have no advice! I will pray that soon and VERY soon you can really sit back and enjoy this beautiful gift.
You need to post a tummy shot, I think you are going to be the most beautiful pregnant mummy!
Have a better day!
xx

PurestGreen said...

It will get better! Your body doesn't know whether it wants to be a drama or a comedy. Well, it probably never will, and the overall plot will never be entirely clear, but still - it WILL get better!

Badass Geek said...

I hope this nausea stuff ends soon. Sounds miserable.

bellarum said...

Oh, oh, oh. Feel better. As you know, it will pass, but oh,oh, oh, I know it feels so bad right now.

erin said...

This too shall pass. I was horribly ill through the first four months of each of my first three pregnancies and nothing worked. I started taking long showers several times a day (near to impossible when you have kids to take care of) and I ate vanilla ice cream with a baby spoon. I'd also tell myself, 'Just go with it, just go with it, stay on top' over and over again. Ms. Moon is so right just stay on top of the wave, ride it and try to focus on the future. And the torturous hours of labor at the very end! Yay!

Evangeline said...

Sorry you are so sick. When I was pregnant with my twins, I was sick as a dog. The only thing that did me much good was nibbling arrowroot biscuits and staying away from the sights and smells of other people eating if I could. I actually lost a bunch of weight in my first trimester. But I did feel a tonne better by about the middle of my second trimester. I am keeping my fingers crossed that you do too.

Laura said...

I am so sorry you are going through such a rough patch here. I had a hard enough time with the exhaustion... and I didn't even have to deal with much sickness. That was bad enough! Adding all of the nausea on top of that would have been really hard to handle. I hope you get through this soon and can start enjoying your pregnancy. I have you in my thoughts!

PalagiGirl said...

I'm sorry things have been so rough for you. I'm sending good thoughts your way and hoping you get feeling better soon.

Starlene said...

It may help to do fresh ginger. I've found nothing except the fresh stuff actually works. Of course it's spicy but I believe it's the experience of tasting the spice that catalyzes the chemical reactions. I think without the sensory perception, the result is much weaker.

Anyway, I'm familiar with what you're feeling. All energy is devoted to surviving the misery and trying to look normal. Well just remember it's temporary. It will pass. I'm sending you love. : )

Oh...and sometimes, pregnant women's bodies reject vitamins that have "extras" in them...harder to absorb and not good for you anyway. Something organic may agree with you better if you're not already doing that. Rainbow Light is a good brand...tasteless, odorless, and toxin free.

Erin said...

Oh, girl. We'll all be waiting for you, sending good thoughts your way.

Bonbon Oiseau said...

awww....so sorry you're feeling illl...drink some ginger tea honey--you'll get through it...
oxodeb

Rachael said...

i am so sorry that you feel so awful, in the early days of my pregnancy with the triplets eating lots of protein really helped the most. hope you are feeling better soon!

Love, Evolution, and Resilience said...

Oh Maggie! I'm so jealous! LOL. I'm sure that's not what you wanna hear right now! HOpe you feel better soon!

Miss Grace said...

Oh darling. Suck. I'm so glad I never had to deal with that.

Greenfingers said...

Best of luck Maggie.

Holly said...

xoxo!

anymommy said...

May this pass very, very quickly and give way to a delightful period of well being and creativity and energy and drive of all kinds.

Until then, I'm sorry. Hugs.

Annie King said...

Hi Maggie, I'm glad to hear you're okay, and I'm wishing you well. Like everyone says, ride through the nausea. There's not much you can do about it, but what you're doing, and at some point, it will subside. Rest and love...

redsneakz said...

I'm afraid that men who've never suffered through this can do nothing but be sympathetic. It's easy to forget your spiritual and creative side when you're in the throes of pregnancy. They'll be back soon enough.

Andrea said...

So sorry to hear that you are battling morning sickness. But I am so happy to hear your news...I'm a bit behind on my blog visits! Wonderful news!

FrankandMary said...

So sorry you are sick, but it is for a very good cause :-).

I've had so many friends who did benefit from saltines & ginger ale....REST. ~Mary

Jeanne said...

Sorry it's been so rough, but at least it's for something worthwhile.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

So sorry you're so so sick. I've been there, and I know what it's like, and it's awful. Awful isn't even the word for it.

Take care of yourself, and the rest will take care of itself, somehow...

Lacey said...

I almost don't want to comment for fear it will give you one more thing to read, to do... But I am just so happy for you I can't help it. :-)

Patty said...

Oh, the turmoil of pregnancy. I remember it well. I remembered it so well I refused to have another child after our son was born. My tolerance for pain is reeeely low.

I wish you a better day tomorrow, and I hope you have a big stock of soda crackers. That is what I used. Do people still eat those these days? Do they still make soda crackers? I am so out of the PG loop.

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

I can't imagine trying to blog while in that first trimester. First trimester SUCKS. The only thing worse is the last few weeks. ;) Baby's worth it, though.

Bee said...

Both of my pregnancies were just like this one, Maggie. During the first, I was supposed to be writing my Master's thesis and it was such a hard, hard grind. It was the only time in my life when I actually watched TV . . . because all I could do was lie prostrate on the couch!

Crackers and apples were about the only things that I could eat.

It's wonderful that your family is all so happy about this event, though. I hope you come back to yourself soon . . . xx

P.S. Glad that the spelling tip worked!

Beth said...

I'm late with a comment - hope you're feeling better. Maybe??
Happy to read that, "joy lies under the surface."
And you are still in creativity mode - just of another kind!

Woman in a Window said...

I'm sorry, in spite of all the sickness I smiled through this. You are such a vessel right now. That and I had a dream of giving birth so I'm all, oh, babies and life and bearing and all.

I hope this passes and lets the joy rise to the surface.

yolanda said...

i am with you!
yolanda

BlondieLox said...

hello!!!! how did i miss this post??? i follow too many blogs! because out of all of them - i Hate to miss out on yours!

here's to your baby belly blossoming & becoming bigger with bounty braun & brain. we'll remain & you'll be back. take your time & relax your behind.

Patois said...

Such best thoughts for you!

Mary said...

They say sour things can help with nausea (like a sour jolly rancher). Worth a shot maybe!

Sorry you are not feeling well :( I hope this passes soon!

Collin Kelley said...

I'll add my voice to the chorus...sorry you're not feeling well, but you know it will pass. :)

red.door.read said...

oh my. i'm so sorry to hear you're having such a rough time.

you know, my sister in law had an awful nausea-riddled pregnancy. then she gave birth to a little angel-coolest-baby-ever person. my niece is now two. she's a little light bulb and the raddest human ever. there is and end to this!!

take care.

Maggie May said...

i love bloggers. such a supportive community. you guys ROCK.

and reddoor what you said about your niece? actually cheered me up. keeping my eyes on the 'prize'....

...love Maegan said...

oh it will pass soon :) my SIL is finally over all the sick but still has a bit of indigestion ...it was at the three month mark when it ended ...really, like they all say. feel better :) fab post

Reinvent Dad said...

Oh wow...I guess I won't send you an edible care package, and I certainly won't mention the "F" word ending in a "D"...I know nausea, but not pregnancy...closest I've been is my wife's two pregnancies, and the fact she's an OB/GYN....hope you feel better soon :)

skinnyGLASSESgirl said...

Oh dear! I hope you are feeling better.

Delphine said...

Now I know why you are a writer! I enjoy your posts immensly, I am so sorry that this one is at your expense! It must be awful for you and I am sure that commiseration is no help! I have no recommended remedies ( you will probably be pleased to hear)but do sincerely wish you well - i still think it's a boy!

Chaos and love said...

Maggie. Thinking of you. I was sick through out my preg with G. I understand. Red hots and any hot candy helped me.
How exciting!!!

Valerie Loveland said...

Congrats! Keep us updated!

sherri said...

justchecking back in, hope you are feeling a bit better!

Bobbie Leigh said...

Oh how I hate ginger- even more so during pregnancy. My mother in law tried to get me to drink ginger root and the smell made me arf. I feel you pain!

Sunday's Pearl said...

I wish I could think of something to do for you, but I think my creativity is AWOL as well lately. If you think of anything, let me know. I'm so sorry you feel poorly, but I'm ridiculously excited to find out which gender you're adding to the family. Hope you feel better!!!

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