Friday, August 20, 2010

The Pregnant Wife Donkey and Her One True Love Survive a Bad Cough

Saturday at the mall I felt sick. It's the mall food- as Mr. Curry said. It's the beef and grease, I replied glumly. We let the kids all get enormous freckled jawbreakers and headed out of the three storied consumer feast and back into our small and very hot jeepy. I call it a jeepy because it's not a jeep but so closely resembles a jeep- to me, someone who knows negative nothing about cars. On the way down the moving staircase ( I'm about 5, so I call it a moving staircase, and I'm about 15, so I always think of that scene in Mallrats where the guy is obsessed with the story of the kid getting his foot caught in the staircase and reams out a Mom letting her son goof off ) I decide it's not the mall food or just too much beef, it's an anxiety attack. It's too much goddamn stuff, I say. It's freaking me out- there are too many people and too much stuff. This is the kind of spiritual conniving I come up with when I am not having a profound moment of realization about American culture but instead am coming down with a wicked cough.

By Monday I was coughing. By Monday night I settled in with a wad of toilet paper in my undies and pillows supporting the upright position to achieve exactly three hours of sleep on the family couch. Tuesday I skipped work- a painful decision considering our finances right now, with our roomate moving out and Dakota's testing this month- and went to the doctor. Well, he said, raising his very groomed eyebrow after assessing my symptoms, are you coughing up green stuff? Yes. So it's a sinus infection. Here's a prescription, feel better. I immediately have a guilt attack. With Dakota and Lola I did not use antibiotics once during the entirity of the incubation. Ever has a sorry track record:

In her third month ( where she was still making feet- TOES, for God's sake ) I had a painful tooth pulled which developed a severe infection. Antibiotics.

In her fifth month I developed a UTI ( most commonly occuring from very aggressive sex, my gynocologist once told me- I think he was just jealous ) and spent a day on the toilet playing Scrabble with Lola before giving in- Antibiotics.

In her sixth month I had a bacterial infection and yes, once again, Antibiotics.

So here we are in the last few weeks of her sixth month and I am, once again, on drugs.

I take the antibiotics, and go to work Wednesday. Wednesday night, another night of desperate attempts at breathing salt filled steam and gargling and forcing Mr. Curry to go to bed- with Lola- so that I can not worry about him worrying about me and just be miserable, and Wednesday at work I call the doctor. Wait one more day, he says. Wednesday night I am miserable on top of miserable. By 9pm I am getting a grip Maggie and forcing Mr. Curry to again go to bed. In the kitchen I start coughing so hard I vomit in the sink and have pulled small muscles in my front and back ribs. Sharp, mean pains shoot through my boobs and chest when I cough, which is once every three minutes, and lasts about a minute each cough. My head throbs, my face is swollen, my legs are swollen, and my throat is killing me.

Mr. Curry comes in and holds me close. I am ridiculous, I say, snot on my face- trying to be funny but not sure if I can have a sense of humor about this. Yes, you are, he says, smoothing back my hair, and beautiful, and I love you, and this will be over soon. I try to answer but begin coughing so hard Mr. Curry insists on picking me up and carrying me to the toilet. I protest but he swings me up, hee hawing and hacking, and carries me through the hall. My coughing turns deeper and harder and I panic: I am going to pee on you honey! I shriek-cough, put me down! He swings my legs to the side for a better grip and something goes flying through the air. My pee pad! I yell, completely horrified, My wet pee pad fell out! Mr. Curry begins laughing so hard he almost drops me. I begin laughing so hard I do pee a little. We barely make it to the toilet in time.

Today I worked a half day and went back to the doctor, handed them my 30$ copay to be told, Um...you are sick. Like, really sick. Wow. That really sucks, to be THAT sick when you are pregnant. I hope you feel better. Let me wash my hands.

I dragged Lola to the pharmacy and to grab a salad and dumped myself on the couch at home, breaking into whinnying sobs against Mr. Curry's side. Hee haw, I'm so sick honey, hee haw, I can't take this anymore.

I am preparing myself for what is surely a virus, I was now told, but still- keep taking the Amoxicillan, because often these viruses turn into bacterial infections. And hey, get some sleep.

Hee haw.
TBG said...

I hope you feel much much better.

Traci said...

You poor thing. :( Hope you get better soon. And try cloth pads, they are amazing and they won't go flying if Mr. Curry carries you again. ;)

Annie said...

I wish, wish, you felt better already. My husband and son have had nasty colds and now nasty, congested coughs. So far, I've escaped them. Hang in there, rest, drink fluids, all of that. I do hope it is not a virus.

Elizabeth said...

Oh, Maggie, I'm so sorry. I've hear there are quite a few really awful viruses going around southern California, and I hope you're feeling better soon. Try not to worry -- Ever will be fine. When I was pregnant with my Henry (now 12!), I got the worst flu -- I mean, really, really sick with fever and cough and cold and sore throat and all that. I couldn't get out of bed. He was born two weeks overdue, ten pounds jolly and continues to be the healthiest, happiest child in the universe!

Angella Lister said...

Feel better Maggie. Being sick and pregnant sucks, but having a Mr. Curry certainly helps. Just stay in bed and don't feel guilty about anything. Do you.

Petit fleur said...

Hee Haw little donkey! Oh Maggie, it sounds perfectly awful. I am sorry.

I'm sure you've already got this stuff, but throat coat tea might be soothing for you. It won't get rid of the cough, but it may help your throat...

Big donkey hugs from here.
xoxo

Ms. Moon said...

You are such a good story-teller that even when you tell a story about such profound despair, it is a joy to read.
Please take your drugs and get better. You know- you can cough so hard that you can break a rib- don't think that would be a good thing for a pregnant lady.

Josey said...

Oh man - I'm so sorry you're feeling so awful. Sounds like a hysterical time with mr. curry at least :)

erin said...

It seems like I always got UTI's in the last month of my pregnancies.

My doc said to lay off the 'active' sex, but said it with a wink.
ha.

Ellen said...

I am so sorry you are feeling so sick. Rest, TLC, water, herb tea..do not overdue and you will be feeling better real soon. Pregnant women and colds = no fun at all. I do remember having a mild cold and the pee problem when I coughed...so embarrassing! I am glad your hubby was such a gentleman to laugh it off and just love you all the more.

justmakingourway said...

Oh, honey! That is the worst, worst, worst. I'm sure Ever will forgive you for drugging her up - it's for the greater good, after all!

Sending you lots of healthy vibes.

(Admitting to laughing out loud at the pee pad thing...)

Marion said...

What you need is a good ole Southern "You Poor Baby"! There!

I hope you're feeling better soon. Oh, and that gyn was wrong. You can get a UTI even with quickie sex. LOL! I know this from experience. Feel better soon. Blessings!

T. Clear said...

I recall being just this sick in my fifth month of pregnancy -- bronchitis -- and the doc wouldn't give me anything. I literally couldn't breathe and couldn't walk more than three steps without nearly passing out. But yes, it passes. Hang in there!

Your post made me laugh -- glad to hear that you're laughing also, in between hacking.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

I feel so bad for you right now, but still my eyes are watering from silent laughing at the pee pad and the hee haws. Feel better soon, Maggie.

clearness said...

Bless your heart. You poor thing! I hope you feel better really soon.

But losing your pee pad and peeing on your husband is funny. Did you read Heather Sphor's story about pooping her pants a week or so ago?

I think there is a virus going around blogland....was your hands after blogging who knows what you'll catch.

Maggie May said...

i don't read the Spohr blog but i am familiar with their story..pooping on yourself definitely wins the suckage war, though. i am drinking tea and water and resting and etc and just getting through the nights. the nights are the worst.

Mwa said...

It's horrible to be sick when you're pregnant! I feel for you. (You do write it well, though.)
Oh, and I'm still pissed off with America for not sorting health stuff properly. You seriously get paid less if you're sick? That's CRIMINAL! Maybe you should all move to Europe.

Leah said...

that's really too bad, quite nice writing though.
xx

Vodka Mom said...

i am sending you my all powerful healing thoughts. I'm gifted that way.

robina said...

Ugh such a bummer!

I had not one, but TWO, kidney infections while pregnant with my second. It was really stressful, so I feel for you.

Feel better soon!

This is Robina previously of Songs of a Brooklyn Warbler, by the way. I moved blogs after my post-second-baby hiatus and am now at smallthingsgrow.com. :)

Love, Evolution, and Resilience said...

Ah Mag... so sorry to hear you are sounding so rotten... I don't know from experience, but you would and I think it'll all be worth it in the end. xo (feel better soon).

Meg said...

Maggie, feel better! And hey, Thanks for commenting on my blog, I didn't think anyone was reading it, it means so much :)

svasti said...

Oh! I do hope you feel better soon and that this is the last of your sicknesses until Ever arrives :)

All This Trouble... said...

I've been there. I'm so sorry the bugs and germs have had a go with you this time around. Maybe Ever will develop a kick ass immune system because of it all. Hee haw. Hee haw.

michelle said...

Don't worry about Ever's toes. She will be just fine.

You are pee in your pants funny even when hacking up a lung and peeing on your husband.

xoxoxo

Rashel Saak said...

I did the EXACT same thing when pregnant with Scout. Like literally coughing so hard I was peeing and throwing up. Throwing up over 17 times in 2 hours. So at 7 months pregnant I spent the night in the hospital with an IV and a breathing treatment, peeing and vomiting everywhere and guess what it was some random virus as well. How lovely to be sick and pregnant. I feel your pain and dear god Maggie May I send positive thoughts your way because that shit sucks baaaad. xo

Stephanie Meade Gresham said...

Oh. I love you so much more now that you've said pee-pad.

Feel better and worry less about the antibiotics. Worry is no good for your heart.

Sending hugs.

Marylinn Kelly said...

Just feeling awful is bad enough, without worry about Ever or losing work hours and pay, without worrying period. With Mr. Curry, your senses of humor and time, I trust, I hope, you will soon be much better, looking back on this as a bad dream and a good story.

Jeanne said...

It sucks that you're having such a sick-all-the-time pregnancy, but lose the "I'm a terrible mom for taking all these antibiotics" guilt. It wouldn't be my first choice either, but it beats dying a preventable death before Ever can see the light of day.

(And the picture of your pee-pad going flying almost made me wet my pants.)

Maggie May said...

thank you guys. i have to admit this is so miserable i am in dire danger of losing my sense of humor. not. funny. !!! i am praying tonight will be better. i was able to sleep four hours in a row this morning which is a first so i think that is a good sign.

RASHEL thank you so much for sharing that with me. it really makes me feel better, really good i read this as nightfall sets in. it's hard not to get extremely anxious about baby Ever when i'm up all night peeing and vomiting and coughing. i get scared for her and you made me feel reassured that she is ok.

xo

robina said...

Oh, and add me to the list of people who had stomach flus while pregnant. I actually started contracting terribly because of it. In fact I spent the whole following weekend with regular ctx and it was terrifying as I was 34w! But I carried that baby all the way to 39w4d. :) I was just dehydrated.

CitricSugar said...

Oh honey! Sending you healthy vibes and sending Ever from anti-antibiotic defense mojo....

Annje said...

I am so sorry you are feeling lousy-it is not whooping cough is it? It sucks to be pregnant and sick, I hope you feel better soon.

oh, and is that still your gyno? I hope not because... ASS! for saying that to you-clearly because he wants to imagine it that way, the perv. Sex is def. a trigger for UTIs but it is any kind, not just agressive. Ok, little rant-I am protective ;-)

Therese said...

*SHUDDER* Ugh! I feel for you. Suck beyond suck. I'm sure little Ever wants a healthy mama most of all. Blasting healthy vibes your way.

yolanda said...

i want you to feel ok now!!
take care,,,,
i love you,,,
my dearling

Caroline of Salsa Pie said...

Feel better soon. It's no fun to be sick especially not while pregnant.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

So sorry you are sick, poor dear Maggie.

Middle Child said...

I think this is the funniest thing -and so how it is with people who love us,
" I am going to pee on you honey! I shriek-cough, put me down! He swings my legs to the side for a better grip and something goes flying through the air. My pee pad! I yell, completely horrified, My wet pee pad fell out! Mr. Curry begins laughing so hard he almost drops me. I begin laughing so hard I do pee a little. We barely make it to the toilet in time." I can just see the whole event..you have warmed the cockles of my heart with this

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