Sex and Food: Marriage Devolves, Happily
Best Pre-Dinner snack that turns into a full meal:
Krinkle Cut Salt and Pepper Kettle Potato Chips
Thick, creamy Spinach Dip
Extra Dry Champagne with a splash of Cranberry Juice
Mr. Curry is making barbecued chicken and a plethora of also barbecued veggies. Last night we had an entire night alone, without the children (spending the night at Grandmas) and it was an act of desperation: I don't care if my stomach is spinning or you, Mr. Curry are tired- take me now, or lose me forever! ( Thank you, Top Gun) Despite said exhaustion and illness, we did have 30 fantastic minutes in bed, in which I remembered how powerful lust and how amazingly life affirming and simply pleasurable sex is. A simple 30 minutes did more for me than EmergenC and my acupuncturist can do in a week. In a recession, Sex is the new Couture: the new Expensive Vacation, the new Iphone, the new hand carved furniture, the new bespoke suit, the old is new again new.
Between sweating over which one of our piling bills to pay each paycheck, the children's various needs, full time jobs, house upkeep, our circus of animals (vet bill, flea bath, snipsnip oh my) errands, doctors appointment, paperwork (piles and piles oh my), and every other mind numbingly stubborn fixture of adult life, who has the money or time to pursue things, when a hot-blooded, delicious body is right next to you? Even if said body is exhausted, careworn, a bit crinkled round the edges, that body offers two things nothing else possibly can: love, divine eros, the bliss of love sweet love, and the impossibly transportive primal get-down that sex is, even in it's muted, softer forms. It is one of the few actions left to us modernized, slick hipsterized city-dwelling cellphone carrying adults that reduces us to our simple, physical humanity: we are physical beings with mysterious and powerful physical desires, and the act of lovemaking with the one you love is the closest thing you can get in daily life to a naked dance around the fire.
In a time of our life when we are (happily, mostly) pulled in every direction but together, Mr. Curry and I will be damned if we let our sex life dwindle before the all mighty daily grind. We make time to get down, be it five minutes in the bathroom or an hour on the floor, I'll take it. So the fact that we had gone two weeks without sex was unusual and obvious- we were jittery, a bit mixed up, a bit lost, reaching for each other all the time to be pulled apart by a certain 6 year old who at the ' Mommy will hold no other ' stage or dinner burning on the stove or the realization that D or I still haven't done their homework.
" [answering phone]
Bridget: Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs... Dad... Hi. "
Saturday night it was written in stone: we will have sex, come hell or high water. And so it was.
I was sick, he was exhausted, neither of us were in particularly good moods, but the effort was made and the sex was incredible. We weren't reading, we weren't blogging, we weren't writing, creating a new life (as far as I know) we weren't unselfish or sweet or accessorized with high gloss case and interest free for two years, we were simply screwed to our heart's delight. ( However at some point, we had this conversation: Flux: I think I'd get like a billion more hits a day if I renamed my blog 'penis between my tits' Mr Curry: And then you'd have all these dirty old men coming to your blog and going ' crazy ass white woman, this ain't nothin but a bunch of poetry, aw shit! ' ) When my life does not find room, or I don't Make Room, for this with my husband, I feel adrift, like I can't find my feet on the ground- for all the reality of daily life, the spiritual and animal reality of sex remains paramount to my happiness and my wholeness as a person. I've had friends say ' I don't want sex to become a chore ' , but I say I don't want sex to become obselete! If that means that I'm giggling with Mr. Curry on top the kids bunkbed (sorry kids) despite my long day at work and smelly pits, all righty then. It's always, always worth it.
There is something interesting about the way our society views the sexual life of married parents, a duality of mindset: on the one hand, we better make room for sex or else! Oprah and the mags remind us, on the other hand, good parents don't realllly put their needs before the children: what if dinner's not made, and you are riding the pony with Daddy in the loo? Is that REALLY NECESSARY?
Well, yes, I do declare (in my best Mississippian accent) it surely IS.
Mr. Curry is about done with the barbecue. Dakota Wolf is sitting behind me, waiting for my reply about spending the night with his best friend, Lola Moon is dancing, the house is definitely on the messy side, but I think I'm getting lucky tonight anyway. Didn't you know, in a recession- you have to make your own luck? :)